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Registered: ‎09-16-2011
Re: Never co-sign a loan. Never, ever ever.

haulingthescoreup wrote:

tonyaether wrote:

Thanks for input everyone. I do want to clarify, we are not in a community property state.  It's equitable distribution here.  I guess my apprehension comes in the nature of everything. I was a single mother for a long time and had to scrape my way back through credit and financial issues.  I am sure part of it is me not wanting to allow someone to jeopardize that.  Up until this point I could handle things on my own if it came to that and there is still some security for me in that. That is probably residuals from always being in control.... Who knows and I won't get Dr. Phil on it (even though I already did).... However the largest part of my issue is that I need to maybe see more from him first in helping his own situation.  I haven't seen the effort that I need to see to feel ok enough to "let my guard down".  It's definitely something I will need to really think about. I am a prepare for the worst type of person (pessimist if you will). This really has nothing to do though with insensitivity, lack of love/caring, or not having his back.  It's more like hauling said, I don't want to be an enabler. Either way, bottom line is that I need to make a choice I can live with.

There's a difference between a hand up and a handout. :smileyhappy:


Good luck to you. That's a tough position to be in, but it's probably an important stage in your relationship. And in the end, you do have that original responsibility to your kids, before anything else that comes along later. Hope it works out for you!

I would never co-sign... my fiance and I have seperate bank accounts... I have a savings and checking that I had before we met, I added him to both accounts... He has a checking account locally, he added me as a joint... 


I have added him as an AU, because literally I trust him not to go buy a bass boat with the CC... the only one he really uses is the American Express, but that's because I told him how reward points work.


What I would and did do.... I paid off his vehicle.  Yes I love this man, and I will build a life with him. He had 5 yrs left on the loan for a 2008 Dodge Nitro. It wasn't a fancy vehicle by no means.  I had the choice, I could have paid off his loan at 22% interest. Or I could have paid off my own student loans which were at 7% interest. We were at the point in our relationship where I felt like what was his was mine and that what the lord blessed me with I should share. He never even asked. I had to ask him if I could do it, because he wanted to let the loan report for at least one yr. Now its gone :smileyhappy:


So actually, this works out because we have 3 cars between the two of us. My Volvo and his Dodge is paid for. I still owe on the truck, but its financed with NFCU at 4%  Not bad.   Joey makes 65k per yr, and he trusts me to manage our money, both mine and his, in a way that will benefit us in our lives together. Couldn't ask for more than that.

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