Contributor
jetsfan2012
Posts: 208
Registered: ‎05-28-2012
Re: Financially UNstable Fiancee

psychoinhell wrote:

jetsfan2012 wrote:

I think I am more attracted to someone who financially "gets it" then anything at this point in my life.



I am attracted to Mila Kunis :heart:

 

but someone that cannot handle their money makes me feel like I am dating a child and I cannot stand it!  I date women my son's age (18-25), but women are supposed to be more mature than men!!!  **stomps feet**



psychoinhell wrote:

jetsfan2012 wrote:

I think I am more attracted to someone who financially "gets it" then anything at this point in my life.



I am attracted to Mila Kunis :heart:

 

but someone that cannot handle their money makes me feel like I am dating a child and I cannot stand it!  I date women my son's age (18-25), but women are supposed to be more mature than men!!!  **stomps feet**


They may be more mature in general, but unfortunately bad personal finance habits is not age specific. Ive seen many men and women, who on surface appear to have it all together, but are broke on payday and maxed out on all their credit cards. If you see those type of signs when you are just dating, and the person isnt seeking help, run! lol

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Regular Contributor
jason0618
Posts: 126
Registered: ‎07-03-2007
Re: Financially UNstable Fiancee

My credit sucks, and I am actively trying to rebuild it.  I pay off old collections, GW stuff, and pay my curent bills on time, like I'm supposed to.

 

My wife, on the other hand, well, doesn't.  She has collections, late payments, judgments, and has basically just mimed my desire for fixing our credit, but still does nothing to help rebuild.

 

She's an AU on my Capital One secured card, and her basic thought is that if the charge is approved, then I must be paying the bill.  If it's declined, break out the check card.

 

I think a lot of the reason is that she's young, and doesn't quite understand the repercussions like I've figured out.  I don't know where to being.  As it is, I've been concentrating more on rebuilding my credit, and paying of old collections, while still devoting a small portion to taking care of some of hers, too.

 

I have tried to talk with her, get her to join me when I pay bills, but she has absolutely zero interest.  It doesn't result in a fight like in some relationships, but she just gets bored, and obviously isn't interested.  

 

She's perfectly content having her money direct deposited into our bank account and letting me handle the bills, etc.  

 

Any suggestions for me?





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marty56
Posts: 5,696
Registered: ‎10-06-2007
Re: Financially UNstable Fiancee
[ Edited ]

Don't give up but keep your finances seperate and I would subscribe to a CMS as well.

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Senior Contributor
drkaje
Posts: 3,491
Registered: ‎07-25-2008
Re: Financially UNstable Fiancee

@ Jason,

 

You're either being taken advantage of or not treating her as an adult. Either way, nothing's going to change until you stand up for jason and say enough.

 

There's no reason she should be spending too much and not paying her own bills. If she sn't working, now's a good time to start. :smileyhappy:

 

Why even let someone (who mismanages money like that) be an AU? They're just going to drown you in debt.

 

I guess you could try counseling but that's generally a waste of money until someone's ready to change.


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FrugalRican
Posts: 2,876
Registered: ‎02-02-2012
Re: Financially UNstable Fiancee

Time to take your wife off of your card as an AU. That or give her a small limit to work with.

 

But it just reads like you are enabling her everytime she swipes her card and you just pay it off.

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