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haulingthescoreup
Posts: 28,115
Registered: ‎04-01-2007
Re: Why doesn't he get it? Venting.

thankfulheart wrote:

I do know I need to back off, but at least with kids, you have 18 years to prepare them for reality, y'know?  I just don't feel like I can cut him loose suddnely since he's obviously never had anyone teach him about finances and money management and I still have to count on child support for another 5 years and the promissory note for another 15 (unless he ever gets to the point where he can cash out some equity). It's just a very slow, frustrating process, teaching someone who is clueless.


But my dear, this is the reality that your kids need to know: their dad might very well love them, but he's completely clueless as to the nuts and bolts of being a dad, and he isn't going to meet the financial obligations that you think he should meet. And as for him learning reality, that isn't your job; that was his parent's job, and for whatever reason, it didn't stick.

 

Let go of the cell phone bill. It's not worth the fight, and wouldn't you pay for a cell phone plan anyway, if he weren't around? This sounds like one of those pointless battles that people engage in out of bitterness and some sort of determination to at least win one thing, and twenty years later, they have no idea why they bothered. Rise above, move on, and you'll be a happier human being in the end.

 

Do get the mortgage untangled, though. That's a biggie, both financially and legally, and if for no other reason, you need to have good credit for your new life as a single mom. Best of luck to you, and major thumbs up for being determined to make if different for your kids.

* Credit is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master. * Who's the boss --you or your credit?
FICO's: EQ 781 - TU 793 - EX 779 (from PSECU) - Done credit hunting; having fun with credit gardening. - EQ 590 on 5/14/2007