Not being harsh, TH, but you're the one who needs to get it. He's not going to 'grow up' and time away from you and the kids isn't going to magically make him have an epiphany. FWIW, he's is probably the same person you married. 
Deal with it forever or get a divorce but thinking you're going to make him change is crazier than alien conspiracies.
Starting Score: 675