Established Contributor
Posts: 619
Registered: ‎09-26-2011
Re: Why doesn't he get it? Venting.

drkaje wrote:

Not being harsh, TH, but you're the one who needs to get it. He's not going to 'grow up' and time away from you and the kids isn't going to magically make him have an epiphany. FWIW, he's is probably the same person you married. Smiley Happy


Deal with it forever or get a divorce but thinking you're going to make him change is crazier than alien conspiracies. Smiley Happy

I appreciate your candor.  I do get it, more than I did before.  I don't want an epiphany, per se, but a recognition of financial reality over time, learning from experience and life lessons.  He is NOT the "same person" I married.  At all.  Complete personality change brought on by Y2K and 9/11.  Many people have even suggested there might be a brain tumor (he won't go to find out, it gives "them" too much information), it's been so dramatic.


Divorce just isn't the right choice right now for a variety of reasons, but I do see it as a possibility in a few years.  Until then, lots of deep breathing and hoping that the current you pay yours, I'll pay mine sticks.


One thing I'm learning from all of this, however, is to teach my 4 daughters to NEVER, EVER tangle up their finances with another person.  I used to be all "married life, joint accounts, OUR money" and I have learned the very hard way that "to each his own" is not at all selfish, but necessary in today's world.

Starting Score: 10/1/2011 EQ 568 TU 593
Current Score: EQ 664 TU 700 EX 701 (FAKO)