Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees
07-09-2012 12:57 PM
You say that both of you had financial problems in the past. You managed to work to fix those problems and seem to be doing well from that stand point. I understand that you have him as an AU on one card that he has in his possession with a $500 limit. What is it with the "we" stuff - like "we" need to check his CRs? You are both in your 30's. Isn't it time for him to take financial responsibility on his own? If you can work on fixing your credit, then he should be able to (on his own), without having to be added as AU or without him needing someone to get his utilities for him. Unless he gets his act straight very quickly, I'd be very careful letting him move in with you (after he has had a chance to live on his own, as you say). He really needs to start establishing credit on his own.
Honestly? Even if his credit reports were stellar, I would STILL feel the need to see his reports as part of moving on in our relationship. I think that, in this day and age, it is only fair to have a clear view of what you're getting into when going forward in a relationship.
As far as the AU step, I did the very same thing when rebuilding. I was added to my mom's AU card when I first started rebuilding. I then started DV'ing, GW'ing, and taking other steps (including going to court) to clean up items that were already on my report. I also applied for & got a couple starter cards (which I still have, for now at least) to establish credit on my own.
I don't really view what I did back then differently from how I'm trying to help him now.
To look at his report is a lot different than saying "we" need to check his report. Maybe it was the way you worded everything, but the way I was taking it was that you were going to do it for him and that he isn't really even trying to help himself. It really does sound like he needs to take more initiative in fixing/taking care of his credit and finances, especially if he wasn't very happy with you not helping with the utility security deposit. Yes, I agree that in a relationship both people need to see where each of them is standing with regards to credit and spending habits.
A parent adding a child on as an AU is one thing but to do it with a boyfriend is another. Boyfriends come and go but parents stick around (in most cases anyways). He is living on his own so that he has the experience of living on his own (let's forget the fact that he is over 30), yet he can't afford the down payment for a utility, so he wants you to get service in your name instead. He needs to pull his own reports and start taking the steps necessary to get into a better situation where he doesn't have to count on co-signers or deposits for utilities, especially if this is someone you will be eventually living with and/or marrying.