I guess what I am saying, in the end it doesn't matter how or where you do it.  My ex husband and I set a budget.  We stuck to it.  The one thing we couldn't control was the weather!  A November wedding in OREGON!  It was a beautiful Sunny day!  The leaves turned yellow orange...so we got shots of us in the park next to the reception in our nice duds.  Set a budget, ask her family how much they will contribute, then plan.