Bullseye, I been married 11 years to my wife and certainly understand where you're coming from. I've resisted alot including stepping outside of my marriage once (i think you're headed down that path, if you're already this unhappy). I think you should literally talk to your wife about this and show her this thread as a way of showing her you do not want to go down this road but feel you might have to. I think this would be an eye opening experience for her, if she takes the time to actually read some of the responses to your situation.

Troll or not, it's rather weak for ANYONE to come online to a financial forum and ask for "validation", after mentioning that they might be a "bad person" that hides money from their spouse to go visit gentlemen's club.

If you have to hide ANYTHING from your spouse, you shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.

Specially if you're seeking validation from total strangers on an internet forum.

Bullseye, it sounds like maybe you had some reservations about combining accounts in the first place. If your gut told you there would be problems you need to listen to it. Suze Orman calls it a gut check and I have to agree with her that its usually right on if you listen to it. There is nothing wrong with having a joint account where the money to pay the bills gets deposited by each of you in an equitable fashion. I get the sense (not knowing the full story and coming from a marriage with a wife that took money) that your wife pushed for the joint account and the access it brings for a reason. I would watch my back. I see nothing wrong with having your own account and your own credit cards for each of you. If she chooses not to have one for herself that's her decision. And for god sake don't do any joint credit accounts, they just spell problems down the road if something back should happen. Best of luck. 

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FrugalRican wrote:

Troll or not, it's rather weak for ANYONE to come online to a financial forum and ask for "validation", after mentioning that they might be a "bad person" that hides money from their spouse to go visit gentlemen's club.

 

If you have to hide ANYTHING from your spouse, you shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.

Specially if you're seeking validation from total strangers on an internet forum.

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