Moderator Emeritus
Posts: 7,225
Registered: ‎09-16-2011
Re: Hoping I'm not the only bad person out there ...

I really feel you should come clean about having the account,  if she's not ok with that then you guys should talk to a therapist.  I think there is nothing wrong with you having your own account and being able to spend from it without being accountable for that portion of your spending. But I really think that honesty and communication goes a long way towards making everyone comfortable in the relationship.


The issue about her being so adamant about combing finances is a red flag that she is feeling insecure about relationships... somehow she equates being financially combined with being emotionally and spiritually combined.  


As an aside, how old are you and your wife?  It may be that she is just a little bit emotionally immature or that she has a set of expectations about marriage which contradict yours.



Expectations about marriage are also bad!   Sometimes honesty is about managing expectations so that neither side is hurt when the other side fails to live up to them.   

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