Re: Hoping I'm not the only bad person out there ...
08-10-2012 11:39 AM
Wow, let me just start out my response with a valuable line I heard about dealing with women, from the video game red dead redemption no less.
"If you are digging yourself into a hole, it is best to just stop digging."
That is probably the best advice the OP can get.
About the hidden account that isn't an issue, marriage is a partnership yes, but that doesn't mean you can't have your own little stash of money for entertainment or any other goal. As long as the most important thing happens with money, bills are paid, food is on the table, etc then it is fine for both husband and wife to have their own seperate stash of funds. Yes marriage is a partnership, but some time to oneself is valuabe too.
The big problem is going to gentleman's clubs behind her back. She could consider that cheating on her and rightly so, but guess what? You don't have to tell her about the past. After all stop digging the hole right? One thing you can do to her is ask her if she would like to go to one with you. Really. Back in my early college party days I asked my then girlfriend if she wanted to come along to a strip club with me, a few friends from my student job had invited me and she ended up bringing a few of her own. If she is secure enough about her own body and you both feel secure enough about your relationship that a topless woman dancing around a pole would have no effect then go for it. Maybe suggest it as a way to inject some spice into your marriage, mix things up a bit, bring out a little wild side, etc.
Of course back then me and her were in our early 20's so that kinda party lifestyle just came natural, if you are in a situation in your life where a steady job and kids are the thought then going out to party might not go over too well.