Re: GF problems
09-19-2012 12:11 AM
Really didn't know what to title this. Anyway me and my gf have been together 4 years and lived together about 2.5. Been together since hs. Both 21(My bday was monday. Spent a decent amount that week and I guess this is where that's coming. We both did though).That's our backround.
We also work at the same place with the same schedule and make the same money. We also have a checking account together. I take care of all the money. Not exactly cuz I want to but because she doesn't want to help. So I find myself in "trouble" when she wants to buy something and we don't have the money for it and then i basically have to let her buy it. I spend money we don't have too, I'm not saying I don't, but it's hard for one person to budget for two people.
Anyway she's not understanding that. We've tried for her to do the budget and make payments but I don't think she evens knows how to make a credit card payment and so I end up taking over again. For some reason she doesn't want to do it together.
We're working towards paying off about $3000 in the next few months. It's going well so far but I'm stressing myself out realizing it might not work out as planned and I get in "trouble" again that I have credit cards. Whenever she talks to her family, which if I got into her family I'd write a book, she says "Brandon has to pay of his credit cards..." even though she spends on them too their apparently only mine. I'm the only one that overspends.
I guess I'm just venting that she won't go 50/50 on this with me and curious if anybody else has to deal with it and how they might deal with it. She literally never worries about it and ALL I do is worry about it. I also get a lot of crap about how my aunt has started to charge me insurance. She was paying for it when we were living at a house and paying rent but when we moved out I told my aunt i could help her out and so now my aunt asks for $115/month and my gf is SOOO upset about it. "We made a deal that she'd pay so why is she going back on it?"
She's also against using CCs at all. She wants us to close all the cards and use debit. I've realized credit is better and then PIF and I've learned a lot of self control from these forums. It feels great to pay a card in full every month like I've been doing with our cards lately(still owe on one card). I have 5( 2 CU, 1 Capone, Carecredit, Jcrew) and she has 1. I'm comfortable with where I'm at. I never spent more than about 200 at a time on the jcrew until she offered to buy her brother clothes and I kind of thought well I might as well too. Don't use carecredit, hate capitalone cuz it does nothing for me, and one of my CU cards does nothing either but it's my oldest card. My other CU card is NFCU cashrewards so I want to use it and PIF but she doesn't see any benefit. Does anybody want to reply and give reasons of why it's better to use a credit card and just pif to prove it to her? haha My ultimate goal is Amex BCP.
Her goal is a house and I keep telling her that it's gonna be a crappy rate with the credit history that she has.
Thanks for reading.
This is a very interesting tone-of-thought you expressed concerning your situation........a simple solution to a choatic situation. Personally, I would run to a galaxy far, far away and never look back or return, EVER!!! No one, and I repeat no one can help someone who does not want help let alone does not even understand that they need help. My GF now fully understands, after a very hard lesson, my financial future belongs to her if she helps to CONTRIBUTE. There is no "I" in TEAM, although there is a "M" and an "E".....but that does not matter....