Valued Contributor
Posts: 1,346
Registered: ‎04-15-2011
Re: Turning brother in for CC fraud

There is one thing this thread is proving about itself and us posting to it.   We all view this issue from different assumptions and perspectives.   I think those of us that have been here for some time can agree (lurking before joining included) that we tend to agree about 80% of the time LOL.  That is when it comes to things we share all the facts and info on. 


Now as for this.  We  have a perspective from a poster (Sweets8E) who's brother went beyond belief in law and family bond breaking, due to a serious mental illness (sadly that wasn't known before any of the issues happened, none of those things may have occurred if that had been the case).  Sweets, you and your family have my deepest sympathy for what you all went through and I hope your brothers illness is being treated effectively now and maybe he's more the person he should have been.


Then we have EmpressLuv's situation that went amazingly smooth, that was no doubt some time ago and very unlikely to be allowed by current rules.  That situation was about as good of an outcome as one could hope for (though the cousin's credit would have had to been seen as able to take on the debt or I doubt it would have been allowed even then).


In my case, yes I have had something similar happen, but never identity theft, it was a much smaller scale and many life experiences (I'm older, wiser and have more experience!  Yes, that is a twist on a movie line and a bit of humor to add to this dismal thread).   Years ago a young family member took one of my cars while I wasn't home, went joyriding I guess.  I came home, noticed some things, found him and had a little chat.  It went something like this:  "I'm glad you were able to find a comfortable driving position with the seat while driving my car, oh, if you made and spare keys, you can give them to me now. He replied "what?!"  I answered with a smile: First, the seat and steering wheel are so far from my usual arrangement that I'd have to have major surgery to drive the car the way you left them positioned. You also forgot to sweep away the tracks of those shoes you usually wear that you left around the drivers side of the car (I never wore shoes like that). If you had any keys copied you need to give them to me now, and you also owe me half a tank of gas. Be glad you didn't damage it and hopefully didn't break any laws.  He hung his head and said he was sorry and that he did take the car but didn't abuse it. He couldn't believe I could find out, I told him he forgot who he was dealing with and should have known I'd know.  I told him he could pay off the gas by doing work around the place or by cash and if the car ever took a drive again wihout me knowing, I'd report it as stolen and the law would take it from there. He understood.


Later on, I allowed him to stay at my house and I'd have to travel for work sometimes for a couple weeks at  a time.  I came home once to find all the change gone from an antique cooking type crock (about big enough to cook a large chicken in I'd guess).  I would usually just throw my change in there as a place to put it, it was full of coins (probably several hundred dollars worth).  I went to throw change in it and the lid came apart, it was broken in half, the change was also gone and replaced with beer caps........  I was very PO'd.  Not so much about the money, but that the lid was broken (I have never seen one to replace it). I told him he had the rest of the week to find somewhere else to stay as I was changing the locks and it'd be a long time before he won back my trust.  He told me he'd pay me back, I told him it wasn't the money, it was that he broke the lid and my trust, and somewhat insulted me by replacing change with beer caps..... He has since made some minor mistakes in life, he knows what advice I'll give if he asks and we're still very close as fences have pretty much mended but I never forget (his friends have told me he'd rather deal with the law than betray me again as he sees me as his rock after his turbulent childhood).  He's not the only younger relative to find out I can be a brick wall in some ways.  Oddly enough, they all respect me, no cops involved and they've all "grown up" since.


This is why I say I'd if it were my brother, I'd face him like a man and ask him just how he's going to repay the 6 grand and win back my trust and remain my brother.  That's MY perspective.  There are countless things none of us know of that situation so it's hard to give anything other than our own (varied) knee jerk response (this is why it's not easy being a Judge, just ask one, if such responses were text book, a computer could do it, think of it as never getting a manual review).


The OP needs to take a lot into consideration before he decides the action he feels comfortable with (now and forever).  Look at all we've said here and how he sees it in real life, only he can figure out the best course of action as far as his family, money and future of both are concerned.  But remember, this is a federal offense, which means federal prison, and the feds don't play nice and they don't tend to take family relationships into consideration.


I can only hope we all have been helpful to the OP to make the decision that's right for him and the entire situation.