Valued Contributor
ivyalmighty
Posts: 1,451
Registered: ‎03-19-2008
Re: Ex Did a Terrible Thing... Is My Credit Ruined?
[ Edited ]

I had very good reasons and they work 4 us. He adopted my children after raising them since they were 7mo and 3yrs old, respectively. Bc of him, they will have insurance 4 the rest of their lives, cfree college tuition, and a cfather. Even if he is terrible with money. He takes care of them very well and when big expenses come up 4 them, we decide what a cfair split is, or one pays knowing the other will get the next expense. cFor the one with a lot of medical expenses, I have handled those bills and expenses bc he is paying cfor the insurance. However, when she's been hospitalized on his time/days, he pays 4 those ones bc he cfeels he should. It works 4 us without a court cforcing anyone's wallet. To me, that's the sign of a real cfather - one that steps up on his own, not bc a judge told him to.

 

As 4 proving he can't handle it... his income went down cfrom $145K to about $35K in Feb of this yr bc he's had to quit working entirely due to deficits from a brain tumor, plus severe PSTD cfrom being a Marine 4 20yrs. His only income now, is retirement & 70% disability (cfrom the brain tumor). His disability rating is being evaluated 4 100% status, bc of the problems he has, but that could take 2yrs to see any payment increase.  He has 2 car pmts, plus at least 4 other credit cards (that I know of) besides these 2 that are harming me. One look by the creditor at his DTI would be enough to show he can't handle it. That's not even considering they'll see the recent missed payments in July-Aug-Sep.

 

cFrankly, I think he should be declared incompetent and have someone appointed to manage his cfinances. I am talking to his sister about that, she is the one helping him cfile for bankruptcy.