Re: Financial Follies that Break the Relationsh
07-23-2011 09:36 AM
Well, something that SHOULD have made me think twice but didn't, lol, was DXH's unwillingness to plan for the future and set goals. He was always convinced that the wolf was at the door, and that we were barely scraping by, so I could never get him to agree to set aside extra money ("Extra money?? We don't have any extra money!!") for retirement or accelerate the mortgage payments. In itself that certainly wasn't a deal-breaker, but it kept us from being able to share dreams in partnership for the future, and it was a sign of an unending gloom and pessimism that wasn't much fun to live with.
The good part of it, though, was that he was (and is) incredibly cheap. He was definitely the disciplined one, and I learned from this, especially once I realized that one day I'd be on my own and have to act like a grown-up.
Sorry to hear about your GF. It can be scary making that transition to taking ownership of your finances. Oddly, it can feel easier and less threatening to think that you can't control anything and just spend until there's nothing left than to plan and budget and monitor. Hope she decides to move forward on this.
FICO's: EQ 781 - TU 793 - EX 779 (from PSECU) - Done credit hunting; having fun with credit gardening. - EQ 590 on 5/14/2007