Established Contributor
Posts: 577
Registered: ‎03-13-2008
Re: Financial Follies that Break the Relationship

This is a good thread. My mistake was that I learned credit from my ex husband. He had an "as long as we can pay the min. we can afford it" mentality. I lived like that for too long. Then we divorced and I had to really learn how to utilize credit. I took everything that I learned to heart and it very much became a way of living for me. I told myself "Never again will you be in a financial mess due to your own follies" and I try hard to stand by my "Never Agains". 


Enter boyfriend.


SO is very frugal minded. He is of the school "only charge what you can afford". COMPLETE oppsote of Ex. By the time SO came into the picture I had already settled into my current financial routine, and his  was surprisingly similar to mine.


There was one thing: My SO is the type of person who if he believes it is good advice he will follow it down to the letter. Years ago his mother got him a $500 Cap1 card and told him to run all of his charges on it to build credit. So he was literally maxing out his cc every month and paying it off. When I realized what he was doing I held my tongue. We were early in the relationship, and I didn't feel it was my place. After a year I couldn't help myself and one day when he was paying off his card I burst out "Stop doing that!!"


That started a discussion on utilization. He contemplated what I told him. My heart was beating. I was thinking I was in "mind your own finances" territory.  Finally he said "That makes sense." He googled articles. Read some forum posts. Said he didn't know why it hadn't occur to him before. From that day on he utilized no more than 30% on that measly little $500 card. He has since upgraded to USAA with a reasonable credit limit, but he is still a stickler for the utilization rule. Smiley Very Happy