Valued Contributor
IOBA
Posts: 2,697
Registered: ‎08-13-2009
Re: My wife is making my financial life miserable

She might respond to having a prepaid card in her wallet.

 

If I was in this position, I would have all of the accounts in my name only.   Oh, wait, that did happen.

 

What I did (literally) was no joint accounts, no joint cc, no joint assets.

 

When the working person would come to demand, or beg, for money, I refused to bail him out.  Instead, I would sit down and try to help him understand where his paycheck went.

 

I also had to protect my ss# and my credit 24/7.   He quickly figured out that since he was being turned down for more credit, he should just open stuff up under my ss# (that's how he got 1k cell phones!), or he would open up cc's and loc's as joint and forge my signature. :smileymad:    Life was a constant battle trying to protect my identity and my credit.  I left.

 

Big difference here - you love your wife.   

 

1.  No joint anything.  No bank accounts.  No cc's.

2.  Consider having a prepaid cc for her to keep in her wallet.  It might help her pride/ego.

3.  You mentioned having kids.   Sit down as a family and talk about the weekly budget in terms of food money.   Include the kids and make them a part of the discussion.   It might help keep your wife on track, help her learn how to manage moneys.   You mentioned her being a great mom, so (in theory) she would want to teach her kids to be great money managers.   This way, your wife learns and saves face at the same time.   

4.  Make a family goal poster for saving to buy a house.

5.  Have a coin jar at home.   Once a week, take the kids and your wife to the bank to deposit loose change.

 

The kids don't need to know all the financial details, but it wouldn't hurt to learn a little.   Make it a game.  Depending on their ages, maybe include the utilities in the weekly budget game.