Valued Contributor
IOBA
Posts: 2,667
Registered: ‎08-13-2009
Re: My wife is making my financial life miserable

DH wasn't so much a spendthrift, as he was unaware of the big picture, when we dated.

 

It took a lot of time, a lot of patience, but he's now pretty good.

 

What I did with him...

 

1.   Made a spreadsheet that listed all of the debt, payments, and interest.  I posted it on the fridge.  EVERYONE could see it.  DH was shocked by how much was owed.

2.   On a calendar, I wrote down the day the bills were due and approximately how much the  bills were.  (ie - cc $500, student loan $250, 450, 521, etc).

3.   We started off with, each week, sitting down and saying "this is how much money is coming in this week, what do we need to pay?"   Bills were always paid first!   Whatever was left over could be used for food.   Eventually moved to having a food budget.

4.   Talked about what the goals were.  Updated the sheet on the fridge every two weeks.   Asked DH what WE should do with the leftover $5.61 from food money.  He use to say things like, ice cream, or something instant gratification.   Now he says, savings.  No question about it.

5.  I still keep financial goals posted in a public place.   I keep the budget on the computer.   And I update DH on thoughts, ideas, and suggestions and then we decide together.   There is no doubt that I manage the money, but I try to keep him involved in the process and the understanding.

 

Maybe your wife needs the instant gratification?  Maybe she feels she's too stupid to learn the finances, so since she's going to fail anyway, why bother?   Is there someone she can talk to, one on one, about this?