New Member
Posts: 2
Registered: ‎07-01-2009
Re: Financial Follies that Break the Relationship
[ Edited ]

I understand your side of the coin, free money is free money... no brainer, right?  But, I also understand her side.  And, from what you wrote, I dont understand how you think she doesnt have a general idea of her monthly budget or spending when you said yourself that she doesnt think she could manage to only charge on the CC what she could afford each month. 


So, lets think about this, by her knowing what she could afford each month literally means that she does, at the very least, have a general idea of her monthly budget.  And you say that by her not using the rewards card, that indicates to you that she wouldnt know how to control her spending later down the line?  How do you equate the two?  By her saying she doesnt want to use the CC because she thinks she may charge more than she could afford monthly clearly indicates she IS in control of her spending, NOW. 


So why wouldnt she be in control in the future if she's limiting herself now?  And obviously she has above average credit in the first place to be approved for an Amex card, so she has managed to keep her finances and credit use in check up until the point of meeting you, correct?!  It sounds to me as though she's doing an alright job as it is and you shouldnt be so critical.  If not using a CC-even one that gives her a cash bonus (and probably a small one at that)-  is her way of controlling her spending, then so be it.  In her mind, the risk of overspending and potentially paying fees and interest doesnt outweigh the reward of the small cash bonus. 


Obviously I dont know you two and there may be other factors at play here that readers dont know about you two, but from what you've said in your post here is my opinion:  There are plenty of worse things in life, so, my opinion- hopefully you've laid this argument to rest with your GF, because from what you've said, she doesnt deserve to be judged so harshly over something so trivial.  Especially when you two arent married and have no joint financial standards that you've agreed to uphold with each other. 


Now when you guys are married and you find out that she got a CC and didnt tell you about it because you get a call from a collection company one day, and she's been having the monthly statement mailed to her parents house or to her work address so you dont find out that she's maxed it out, THEN i'd say you definitely have a valid reason to be critical, harsh, and over-judgemental.


Smiley Happy  (mod edit)



 So, i just read the rest of the posts and all the additonal info. you gave about your GF and her other CC, etc.  And i must say that she does sound immature and a tad ....and it may do her some good to listen to your advice or at the very least, consider it.  However, I still stand by my opinion from what we all knew from the original post.  There are worse things in life, and you both sound young and just under experienced (maybe her moreso than you).  It'll work itself out if you're meant to be.



edit to add: I removed your first name. Smiley Happy We try to discourage posting any personally identifiable info, including names, even if they're just first names. You can do so, of course, but in case you decide that you'd rather not have it out there, I took it out for now. --hauling