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Posts: 1
Registered: ‎11-21-2010
Re: My wife is making my financial life miserable



My wife has tried to ruin me financially, but she did NOT succeed.  Perhaps describing things so as to imply that she tried is NOT accurate...but a little emotional.


I have a substantial income, and we have a 10,000 square foot house.  My wife has two children from a prior marriage, and I have one.  We share an 8yo son together.  My wife is NOT at all capable of managing money.  I recognized this early in the marriage.  We have been married for 9 years.  That said, she purported to need money every month.  Therefore, as her husband, I gave to her $3000 per month over a 6 year period of time.  In total she received $237,000.  Today her credit score is about 300.  She has no funds whatsoever, and she was working during this same period of time.  No one knows where this money went.  While she received these funds, 100% of all expenses were paid in the house.  We had a nanny, a house keeper, etc.  She had no expenses WHATSOEVER regarding the house.  Her ex refused to pay child support...and he is a lawyer.  I have maintained a very good credit score, got my oldest son through an Ivy League University- he graduated debt free ontime, and kept our youngest in private school.


The lesson:  DO NOT HAVE A JOINT ACCOUNT.  DO NOT GIVE THE WIFE ACCESS TO ANY OF THE MONEY.  IF YOU HAVE A JOINT ACCOUNT CLOSE IT.  PLEASE UNDERSTAND THIS SITUATION WILL NOT GET BETTER.  WHEN ONE OF YOU WORRIES ABOUT THE FINANCES THE OTHER DOES NOT HAVE TO,  SHE COULD SPEND EVERY DIME YOU ONLY TO FILE FOR DIVORCE AND ASK THAT YOU CONTINUE TO TAKE CARE OF HER.  And while not allowing access creates marital discord, which would you prefer?  If you divorce and your personal credit is ruined than anger and hopelessness abounds.  If however, you continue to NOT allow the wife access to funds, she will become angry and feel as if she is not a part of things, and therefore she will seek a divorce.  To whit, you will feel a sense of relief and freedom having not allowed access versus "**bleep** was I thinking for allowing her access."  Either way you will be divorced.  The thread for this blog is Love and Money.  A marriage in America based solely on love is doomed to fail, as is one based solely on money.  If you cannot balance the two with your wife, the marriage will fail.  The longer you stay, the more it will cost you if and when you she may leave when she has had enough or the money dries up.