Posts: 2,876
Registered: ‎02-02-2012
Re: Financial Follies that Break the Relationship

tpatterson2k9 wrote:

So my girlfriend (who is still the one I've been with since my OP) received her nicely sized federal tax refund today.  When I asked her what she was going to do with it, she said she is going to put it away in a savings account (not a CD or anything like that) and forget she ever received it.  After asking her if she still had a balance on her 24% APR credit card, which she pays just a little bit above the minimum on each month, she said yes, but she didn't want to use the refund money to pay it off because she would be putting more charges on it anyway next semester (six months away). 


With the refund she received, she could pay off the whole balance of the card and still have 80% of the money left.  Even though I tried to explain to her that if she paid off the card it would be like giving herself 24% interest (because she would no longer be paying 24% interest on the card), but she doesn't seem to understand this concept.  I really wish I could understand her logic, but I just can't.  It bothers me so much that her financial decision-making is so off-base, but it's not enough yet for me to break it off with her.  Anyone have any words of wisdom for me (besides ending it now, because trust me the thought keeps coming back to me, but I still love her)?



Understand that if you get married to her, you will most likely face this situation a LOT more regularly. I hope this does not become grounds for resentment for you.

Maybe you have to draw it out for her, show her that even though she's putting it into savings, the 24% interest is really going to chew away at the .35% savings she could get from the account.


Don't try to understand her logic. It doesn't work that way, because she's not thinking about it logically.

I hate to say it like this, but if it bothers you a little bit now, it's going to bother you a whole lot more in the future when it comes time to do the grocery shopping, pay the cards, pay the utilities, etc... But you also must understand that you can't force her to understand your logic either (not saying that that is what you are doing)... but I;ve seen relationships come to that point.


You either be happy with her the way she is and HOPE that one day the light bulb turn on, accept her the way she is and let go of any future resentment, or just walk away.




P.S.: I had a friend who was once in a similar situation. What he did was he showed her the amount of what she'd get in interest over a period of a year, and then showed her how much her balance was costing her in interest over a year and used them in a column-style format with both balances at the bottom. He then showed her possible things her interest was stopping her from buying with the extra money she was savings. It opened her eyes when she saw she was missing out on some new shoes and a purse.

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