Super Contributor
MidnightVoice
Posts: 8,154
Registered: ‎03-25-2007
Re: Coming Soon: New Member Ranks
[ Edited ]

lel- wrote:


This may very well be the best post that I've read on these boards!


Very close to

 

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- TheNewWorldMan wrote:

 

 Remember that credit bureaus use different methods to receive and process good versus bad credit information. Information that would negatively affect your credit rating--like a late pay or charge-off--is instantly beamed from the creditor to the agency via Department of Defense 256-megabit fiber optic lines and written to their servers in 8.6 milliseconds. Information that would positively affect your credit rating is scribed onto scrolls in special ink by Gregorian monks, which are then painstakingly illuminated. The Credit Scrolls are then placed onto camel caravans which wind their way to the credit bureau headquarters by way of Marrakesh, Dubai, and Tripoli. Once the caravan reaches Equifax, Experian or TransUnion, the scrolls are then laid out in the sun for a week so that the special ink can be read. (Note that the weather around the credit bureau headquarters is notoriously gloomy, like FICO itself, so finding seven consecutive days of sunshine can be quite an ordeal in and of itself.) Only then can the information finally be encoded into your credit files...

 

 

The slide from grace is really more like gliding
And I've found the trick is not to stop the sliding
But to find a graceful way of staying slid