Re: So ashamed and devastated
10-17-2012 01:01 PM
Sorry, but something is not adding up here. Why didn't you and your boyfriend know there was a fraud freeze before the payment was considered late? How much time did you let elapse before you figured out there was a problem? You have some time between the time payment is due and time you are officially late, so what happened between the day you were billed and the day it was considered late enouth for Amex to FR you? It wasn't like this just happened in a 2 day period. There had to be weeks at minimum for you to figure out there was a problem. And if there was a problem, why didn't you take one of your other cards and pay off AMEX until it got squared away?
This is always a problem with authorized users in my opinion and why I would never trust my finances to a girlfriend or what not. Ultimately, you are the only person responsible for YOUR account. Yes we're supposed to trust the ones we love, but come on, this was totally avoidable. Learn from this going forward.
1. Never let another person be responsible for paying YOUR bills (even if they are somebody you love). I did THIS <<< once... needless to say, the car was repoed, even though I was just the co-signer. Our seperation agreement was that he would pay the bill. obviously that didn't work, and I got to pay for the deficiency balance, plus got a judgement against me back in 2007. Don't rely on others. If I had known what I know now, I would have INSISTED on selling the vehicle, or refinancing in his name only.
2. Always follow through to make sure the payment was posted in a timely manner. I can't count the number of times I hear people say, "I thought so and so made the payment, I was wrong." Regardless if it was a mistake, error or other. You should always be on top of it. Doing THIS << has saved my bacon more than a few times and I can honestly say that doing this, and paying at least 5 days before due assures that you are NEVER considered "late" by the creditor.
3. Let's say you get a bill and there's a 21 day period to make payment. If you entrust somebody to make payment by day 7 and it hasn't posted yet, then YOU pay it and deal with the person directly. Why would you ever just blindly trust and not actually check your acct to see if the funds cleared? Just sounds kind of ridiculous to me. Yes, I always check my balances on all accounts just to make sure there are no surprises and that everyone's gotten paid.
I'm sorry but this is partially your fault for making these mistakes. Learn from them and take him off as an AU on your other accounts. If there's not enough communication to know when stuff is supposed to go through and it's THAT HARD just to get a payment in, then maybe you don't deserve an AMEX. Just my opinion. Go ahead and flame away, but I think this whole situation was avoidable if you had just followed up on the payment before it was late.
I found this at this website. I don't have AMEX, but this person does:
There is a "please pay by" date on the statement that is like 15 days after the statement closes, but that is actually just a suggestion. Payment is not considered late unless it has not been received by the time the next statement closes."
So that means that a full statement period had to have passed for you to be late and you're telling me this whole time you didn't know what was going on and whoopsie, it just hit you like a big surprise? You never logged in to check your balance in that whole period? You never wondered, "Hmmm, why does it still show $3000 dollars due?" I'm not sure why everyone is patting you on the back for being irresponsible with your credit, but you're not going to get any sympathy here. Pay your bills on time if your boyfriend can't, bank error or not. And if you can't pay your bills when they are due, then you are better off not having a charge card and sticking to credit cards where you can make the minimum monthly payment. Amex made the right call in my opinion.
I hate to say it but I agree with HappySoda on some parts... I have added my comments in red above. Although I do think that the OP should call Amex and explain the situation. Live and Learn OP, and I hope everthing works out for you. Hopefully they don't put a 30 day late on your CR
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