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Registered: ‎09-27-2011
Re: Child Support Woes
[ Edited ]

Tikon wrote:

Some random comments on a few statements:

 

1) It's great that a lot of you older people paid for your own education. I did as well, but college is much more expensive now. My university in 2002 was $90 per credit hour, it's much much higher now. When I got my PhD fees were a third what they are now for the same program and I wasn't FORCED to have health insurance like every student is now ($1500 per year).

 

2) Again, the government calculates financial aid based on a presumed family contribution. If you're not contributing that, you're cheating your child out of the same resources other people are getting.

 

3) We're 'barely' talking about an adult. A 20 year old could use some understanding and guidance. All I've seen in this thread is vitriol.

 

4) There's a reason why child support laws have biased towards women. It's because women often get stuck with the responsibility of raising a child AND because men often gets the luxury of a more succesful career (i'm jumbling a lot of discrete factors but bear with me). My family line going back three generations is full of men leaving their family, making good money, and not supporting their children. Perhaps I'm a little biased because of that. Women who stay home and take care of their children are supporting the man's career while ruining their chances of independent financial stability. Men have a long track record of leaving women and children high and dry, so what if there's one example of a newly married man having to provide $300/mo in support? I doubt that's a significant burden. And to be clear, I'm male, and I don't foresee ever feeling particularly oppressed by having to support offspring I chose to bring into this world.


1. Who is "forced" to have health insurance? The mandate of the health care law hasn't even kicked in yet...and given the Supreme Court's apparant disdain for it, it's more likely that the entire law will be struck down anyway. And FYI, I'm not an "older" person...just one that was taught personal strength and resolve in lieu of dependency.

 

2. I don't recall saying anything to the contrary. My family was wealthy and paid SQUAT toward my college. I knew that and made my own destiny. We simply have different philospohies on this. I believe it is the adult's obligation to support herself, not the parents'.

 

3. No...a 20-year old can use a lesson in personal responsibility, not coddling. That is a TERRIBLE life lesson, with all due respect. One can provide understanding and guidance without paying her bills for her.

 

4. I'm male as well...and very rarely are women systematically removed from their children's lives. Women are routinely handed custody of children by judges who don't give it a second thought - even when those same women have affairs and/or issues with the responsible management of money that sparked the separation/divorce in the first place. Men, on the other hand, are turned into weekend fathers against their will with few exceptions. The system is inherently unfair to men...period.

 

Sorry, but we 100% disagree on this issue...and per a PM from a moderator, this will be MY final words on the matter. My stance is well-defined at this point and little or nothing is to be gained from continuing the conversation. You have your opinion, I have mine. Have a great day.

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