topic Re: Car & Boyfriiend; HELP in Relationships and Money

Car & Boyfriiend; HELP

Anonymous — Sun, 12 Jul 2015 18:53:37 GMT

Hi everyone.

I'm a 21 year old college student. I also work full time and make about 30,000 a year. I paid 5,000 (cash) for my 2006 Honda Accord five years ago (I saved an entire summer). It's been great to me, but I drove it alot and the mileage was up to 200,000. It died on me I am not too familiar with cars but from what the mechanic explained something was unsealed in my engine and the cost to replace my engine isn't worth it.

I have recently opened a couple credit cards (my first ones!), one is a Chase Amazon with a 1500 limit, and the other is a Discover (joint account with my boyfriend of three years) with an 8500 limit. I literally fill gas and buy food and just pay them off as I start to build a credit history. I'm not really into spending money right now, I like buying things used and I'm on a full ride scholorship at school so I don't have many school expenses.

I decided that I need a car to get from school and work, (because Arlington, Tx has no public transportation). The problem is since my credit is so new I can't really find a good rate on a car loan. My boyfriend is 31 and has great credit history and wants to cosign for me, the problem is he only wants me to get a Lexus because that's the car he has always drove, and he wants me to get something from 2013 and on so that i can have a warranty. He thinks its a smarter investemnet because older cars "break down more" and he says Lexus are made to never break down.

I have about 20k in total savings, no debt (pay of my two cc to zero) and I wanted to put about 5k on a car. I really appreciate him offering to cosign for me, but I don't think I am ready to buy a car right now, I wanted to wait until I graduate and the big bucks roll in hah hah.

So because we keep arguing on this, I am thinking of asking to "lease" his car from him for the next two years (I graduate in two years). He has two cars paid off, one is a Lexus LS 460 L 2013 and he literally leaves it in his garage and the other is the ugliest Lexus GS SUV I've ever seen in my life he drives all the time lol. I want to be serious when I ask him so that he can see I'm not just trying to "borrow his car" but actually have an agreement to borrow his other car. The thing is I can't find online where you could lease a 2013 lexus so I have no idea what the monthly payment should be as well as any down payment. Could anyone give me some insight on to what you would offer if you were the one wanting to lease the car? I don't hink he would have any problems with me puting miles on it as I don't drive too far and he's already offered to let me use it in the short term. Any advice is appreciated.

I'm not worried about if things go bad, we've broken up before and we are both really mature about things. I don't think I need a formal agreement to "lease" his car from him but I do want to compensate him in the most fair way.

I really want to save up and buy a car outright if possible when I graduate. I know that seems kind of bizarre but I love not having a car payment for so many reasons. Has anyone done this while they leased?

Re: Car & Boyfriiend; HELP

Anonymous — Sun, 12 Jul 2015 21:00:17 GMT

@Anonymous wrote:
Hi everyone.

I'm a 21 year old college student. I also work full time and make about 30,000 a year. I paid 5,000 (cash) for my 2006 Honda Accord five years ago (I saved an entire summer). It's been great to me, but I drove it alot and the mileage was up to 200,000. It died on me I am not too familiar with cars but from what the mechanic explained something was unsealed in my engine and the cost to replace my engine isn't worth it.

I have recently opened a couple credit cards (my first ones!), one is a Chase Amazon with a 1500 limit, and the other is a Discover (joint account with my boyfriend of three years) with an 8500 limit. I literally fill gas and buy food and just pay them off as I start to build a credit history. I'm not really into spending money right now, I like buying things used and I'm on a full ride scholorship at school so I don't have many school expenses.

I decided that I need a car to get from school and work, (because Arlington, Tx has no public transportation). The problem is since my credit is so new I can't really find a good rate on a car loan. My boyfriend is 31 and has great credit history and wants to cosign for me, the problem is he only wants me to get a Lexus because that's the car he has always drove, and he wants me to get something from 2013 and on so that i can have a warranty. He thinks its a smarter investemnet because older cars "break down more" and he says Lexus are made to never break down.

I have about 20k in total savings, no debt (pay of my two cc to zero) and I wanted to put about 5k on a car. I really appreciate him offering to cosign for me, but I don't think I am ready to buy a car right now, I wanted to wait until I graduate and the big bucks roll in hah hah.

So because we keep arguing on this, I am thinking of asking to "lease" his car from him for the next two years (I graduate in two years). He has two cars paid off, one is a Lexus LS 460 L 2013 and he literally leaves it in his garage and the other is the ugliest Lexus GS SUV I've ever seen in my life he drives all the time lol. I want to be serious when I ask him so that he can see I'm not just trying to "borrow his car" but actually have an agreement to borrow his other car. The thing is I can't find online where you could lease a 2013 lexus so I have no idea what the monthly payment should be as well as any down payment. Could anyone give me some insight on to what you would offer if you were the one wanting to lease the car? I don't hink he would have any problems with me puting miles on it as I don't drive too far and he's already offered to let me use it in the short term. Any advice is appreciated.

I'm not worried about if things go bad, we've broken up before and we are both really mature about things. I don't think I need a formal agreement to "lease" his car from him but I do want to compensate him in the most fair way.

I really want to save up and buy a car outright if possible when I graduate. I know that seems kind of bizarre but I love not having a car payment for so many reasons. Has anyone done this while they leased?

When my daughter was 21 she was able to get a loan in her name making less then you and with no credit. IMHO, I would not consider 1. cosigning with a boyfriend, 2. getting a vehicle that's out of my price range (leasing or buying). If you have the resources pay cash for something reliable and drive it until it dies. DO not allow anyone to pressure you into getting something that's out of comfort zone. I make a good income and I am still driving a 1996 FORD Excort with over 300, 000 miles.

Re: Car & Boyfriiend; HELP

Anonymous — Sun, 12 Jul 2015 21:23:05 GMT

Thank you. I wouldn't mind spending half of my savings on a reliable car (10,000) do you think that's possible? I really don't care about looks at all. I don't know where to even look, my last car was from an auction so I got really lucky because my friend had an auction lis. Would you reccomend just looking like on craiglist and maybe seeing if I can pay a mechanic to come look at a car with me before I buy? I literally know nothing about cars.

My boyfriend says he doesn't think I can find a reliable car for 10,000 that I won't have to spend alot to fix every month. I definitley want to avoid that, minor stuff is fine but I don't want to have to use my savings for big expenses if that makes sense. Also, you mentioned your daughter had no credit, do you know how she went about finding a car loan with a reasonable interest rate? Just from researching online everything I've read said I'll need a cosigner. Thank you.

Re: Car & Boyfriiend; HELP

Revelate — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 01:20:38 GMT

@Anonymous wrote:
Thank you. I wouldn't mind spending half of my savings on a reliable car (10,000) do you think that's possible? I really don't care about looks at all. I don't know where to even look, my last car was from an auction so I got really lucky because my friend had an auction lis. Would you reccomend just looking like on craiglist and maybe seeing if I can pay a mechanic to come look at a car with me before I buy? I literally know nothing about cars.

My boyfriend says he doesn't think I can find a reliable car for 10,000 that I won't have to spend alot to fix every month. I definitley want to avoid that, minor stuff is fine but I don't want to have to use my savings for big expenses if that makes sense. Also, you mentioned your daughter had no credit, do you know how she went about finding a car loan with a reasonable interest rate? Just from researching online everything I've read said I'll need a cosigner. Thank you.

Playing a bit of devils advocate...

Do you know what your credit score is currently? If you have had those cards for six months they might not suck.

Car loans are the easiest loans to qualify for honestly, and money is absurdly cheap currently. While I can understand the desire to be debt free, that's not always a fantastic solution. That said, I absolutely wouldn't go out and get something you didn't feel comfortable making the payments on.

You found a cheap car that worked for you last time, clearly it can work... fact is most modern cars you can get 200k on if you take care of them; something of a risk with a prior owner, but vehicle history reports are sophisticated enough now that you can find out of there's water damage or the like which makes it a no drive zone.

Also calling it what it is, the advice not to cosign should really be given to your BF about you . In your case, either you were going to make the payments or not anyway so really it's no risk to you but if you were to flake, he's stuck with it. Not saying this is a forgone conclusion just crap happens over time... and there are plenty of horror stories on this forum to suggest cosigning anyone else except your spouse doesn't make a lot of sense.

As for car shopping, go trawl the listings of Carmax, that can give you a good idea as to what you're looking at price wise and getting a reliable car for 10K is pretty trivial; could get a car to last you till you get real income for 2-3K even if you're not worried about looks... sometimes a beater is the right way to go. I'd likely use part of the 10K for a downpayment, take the cosign offer, and pick up a car that I planned to keep for a good long while, but the 2011-2013 Lexus on 30k income, that doesn't strike me as fiscally smart even at trivial APR's. A car by definition is a depreciating asset, 5+ year old Honda/Toyota like you did last time is a better target most likely from a pure financial perspective.

Also any used car from wherever but especially private sale, get a mechanic to check it out absolutely.

End of the day you need to make the decision that's right for you.

Re: Car & Boyfriiend; HELP

Anonymous — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 01:35:56 GMT

@Revelate wrote:
@Anonymous wrote:
Thank you. I wouldn't mind spending half of my savings on a reliable car (10,000) do you think that's possible? I really don't care about looks at all. I don't know where to even look, my last car was from an auction so I got really lucky because my friend had an auction lis. Would you reccomend just looking like on craiglist and maybe seeing if I can pay a mechanic to come look at a car with me before I buy? I literally know nothing about cars.

My boyfriend says he doesn't think I can find a reliable car for 10,000 that I won't have to spend alot to fix every month. I definitley want to avoid that, minor stuff is fine but I don't want to have to use my savings for big expenses if that makes sense. Also, you mentioned your daughter had no credit, do you know how she went about finding a car loan with a reasonable interest rate? Just from researching online everything I've read said I'll need a cosigner. Thank you.
Playing a bit of devils advocate...

Do you know what your credit score is currently? If you have had those cards for six months they might not suck.

Car loans are the easiest loans to qualify for honestly, and money is absurdly cheap currently. While I can understand the desire to be debt free, that's not always a fantastic solution. That said, I absolutely wouldn't go out and get something you didn't feel comfortable making the payments on.

You found a cheap car that worked for you last time, clearly it can work... fact is most modern cars you can get 200k on if you take care of them; something of a risk with a prior owner, but vehicle history reports are sophisticated enough now that you can find out of there's water damage or the like which makes it a no drive zone.

Also calling it what it is, the advice not to cosign should really be given to your BF about you . In your case, either you were going to make the payments or not anyway so really it's no risk to you but if you were to flake, he's stuck with it. Not saying this is a forgone conclusion just crap happens over time... and there are plenty of horror stories on this forum to suggest cosigning anyone else except your spouse doesn't make a lot of sense.

As for car shopping, go trawl the listings of Carmax, that can give you a good idea as to what you're looking at price wise and getting a reliable car for 10K is pretty trivial; could get a car to last you till you get real income for 2-3K even if you're not worried about looks... sometimes a beater is the right way to go. I'd likely use part of the 10K for a downpayment, take the cosign offer, and pick up a car that I planned to keep for a good long while, but the 2011-2013 Lexus on 30k income, that doesn't strike me as fiscally smart even at trivial APR's. A car by definition is a depreciating asset, 5+ year old Honda/Toyota like you did last time is a better target most likely from a pure financial perspective.

Also any used car from wherever but especially private sale, get a mechanic to check it out absolutely.

End of the day you need to make the decision that's right for you.

Thank you for replying. I think I didn't explain this well, the Lexus is my boyfriends car that he keeps in his garage. He's offered to just let me use it, but I was thinking I should just "lease it" from him until I graduate, but I wasn't sure how much it should be. I could only find leasing options for a BRAND NEW lexus. I would lease it from him as in give him a monthly payment for the car.

If I do see a car that I like, where can I find a mechanic to check it out? Could I just look up local mechanics and ask them what the rate is for just looking at a caar? I haven't really purchased a credit score, but credit karma says my score is 716. I have no negatives, I'm an authorized user on three of my boyfriends cards which have perfect credit history, and I have one credit card of my own and one as a joint user (all perfect history) one is like over fifteen years old. I know credit karma isn't accurate though.

The problem with the cosigner offer is he won't cosign something that isn't a Lexus because that's all he's ever drove. It makes me think maybe he is worried I will not keep up with the payments and he will have to take the car and he wants something he would drive? I didn't think that because he is the one that offered and he knows how hard I work at school/work but he's really adament about me buying something newer and a Lexus. I keep going back and forth on one hand it's like with him as a cosigner my interest will be low on the other idk if I'm ready for a more expensive car. I might research some more on getting a loan for myself though you guys are kind of giving me hope. Thank you!!

Re: Car & Boyfriiend; HELP

Revelate — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 03:53:06 GMT

@Anonymous wrote:
Thank you for replying. I think I didn't explain this well, the Lexus is my boyfriends car that he keeps in his garage. He's offered to just let me use it, but I was thinking I should just "lease it" from him until I graduate, but I wasn't sure how much it should be. I could only find leasing options for a BRAND NEW lexus. I would lease it from him as in give him a monthly payment for the car.

If I do see a car that I like, where can I find a mechanic to check it out? Could I just look up local mechanics and ask them what the rate is for just looking at a caar? I haven't really purchased a credit score, but credit karma says my score is 716. I have no negatives, I'm an authorized user on three of my boyfriends cards which have perfect credit history, and I have one credit card of my own and one as a joint user (all perfect history) one is like over fifteen years old. I know credit karma isn't accurate though.

The problem with the cosigner offer is he won't cosign something that isn't a Lexus because that's all he's ever drove. It makes me think maybe he is worried I will not keep up with the payments and he will have to take the car and he wants something he would drive? I didn't think that because he is the one that offered and he knows how hard I work at school/work but he's really adament about me buying something newer and a Lexus. I keep going back and forth on one hand it's like with him as a cosigner my interest will be low on the other idk if I'm ready for a more expensive car. I might research some more on getting a loan for myself though you guys are kind of giving me hope. Thank you!!

Guess I whacked that part of my reply during the rewrite: you can't lease anything but a new vehicle; if it's used, it's not leasable.

Mechanic is for the inspection of the used vehicle if you go that route; use something like Truecar to get vehicle price estimates.

TBH I wouldn't bother with coming up with a payment plan for the vehicle but what you should do is pickup maintenance, insurance, and of course gas if you're the one driving it. I think that'd be enough to satisfy both you and him that you aren't simply just leeching the use of his vehicle. Buying a car for roughly your annual income makes little sense, even when your expenses are low and interest rates are negligible: I'd love a Tesla Model S P85D but frankly, it ain't in the cards financially based on my current income even if I could "afford" the payment. Better uses of the money for me, and I would suggest the same is true for you.

There's no need to overthink this really; if you're dead set on paying him above what I suggest earlier, use Truecar to figure out the current value of his vehicle, factor in an interest rate of 2% (hey Lexus cosigner!) over 60 months and do that in full or some fraction of that to satisfy your own needs... but from what you intimate, he'll might not be OK with your paying for it anyway... right now it's losing value sitting in the garage, might as well get some use out of it.

Re: Car & Boyfriiend; HELP

youdontkillmoney — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 13:44:00 GMT

Relationships and money are complicated and get more complicated once a transaction occurs. If I were your boyrfriend I'd let you use one of my cars for free until you decide to get a new one, maybe give a deadline of 6 months. Also, if I were you I would not like all the string attached for him to help you co-sign, reminds me of control issues. If I were you I'd want to be my own independent woman and not depend on a man. You have your own savings and job, do it yourself and not owe anyone anything. I like relevate's idea of looking to see if you can finance a car despite having new credit. I like more how in my case how I do it, I pay cash outright for a car, I'd use some of the cash saved and buy a used car that has been certified (whatever that means or is worth), at a place like CarMax etc or a dealer who sells used cars also that were formerly trade - in's; the best advice I can say is to not rely on someone else financially (even so signing), do your own thing.

Re: Car & Boyfriiend; HELP

Anonymous — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 16:27:44 GMT

Being a wet blanket isn't my intent but ... getting into heavy financial relationships could be a problem if you both decide to head your own separate ways. Then what happens? Oft the split might not be on the best of terms and you have no vehicle and are leasing his. What then?

Re: Car & Boyfriiend; HELP

Anonymous — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 17:28:16 GMT

Thanks for all the advice. I think I'm going to have to look for either a cash car or check if I qualify for some loans in my own name. He was open to the idea of letting me borrow his car, but not for more than a few months. He says he could just cosign for me on a similar car. All of his reasons have been that I need a nice car of my own and can afford one since I don't have any expenses. He is into credit and thinks its important I get a loan and work on having more types of accounts in my credit for when we buy a house together one day.

I don't know why he's only offering to help me on the condition it's a certain car. He keeps saying I'm too old to drive an old used honda and that I'm not sixteen anymore. Like **bleep**, I know college professors who drive used cars that drive fine and I'm only a college student. He keeps asking me why I am so concerned with saving most of my money since I don't have many expenses and honestly I just want to make sure I have a nice savings when I graduate. I mean I'm going into a high demand field but you never know what can happen, it's not like a college degree even guarantees you a job.

I wasn't really concerned with if things dont work out, he's really a good man and he's much older than me so I doubt he would do anything negative to me or my credit or try to take the car away from me or something like that. I'm just frustrated because I thought I had a good plan.

Re: Car & Boyfriiend; HELP

StartingOver10 — Tue, 14 Jul 2015 12:43:25 GMT

Agree with your conclusion:

Don't tie your finances in with your boyfriend for a myrid of reasons, not the least of which is the control issue mentioned above.

My two cents: You are a saver. I suspect your boyfriend isn't a saver. This can create issues down the road. Keep your finances separate. Don't do the 'lease deal' with his Lexus parked in the garage.

Either go for the cash car or put down a substantial amount on a low cost car and finance the rest. You won't have issues with a large down payment. There are plenty of good, reliable used cars for $10k. Be your own woman.

Re: Car & Boyfriiend; HELP

Anonymous — Tue, 14 Jul 2015 13:16:13 GMT

Go get the car you want, used or new, from $15,000-$20,00 and build your auto loan history.

It will help you tremendously with a lower rate later on.

You are considering putting $10,000 into just buying a car outright. Why not put a $5,000 Down payment on a new $20,000 vehicle, which will not only get you a better rate, but most likely start you off "on top of your loan", which means you are below 100% of the car's current value, which also means you would be eligible for refinancing if you got a rate you didn't like.

This way you have a reliable vehicle, an auto loan history, a very low payment each month ($250/mo at 72mos 3-5%), a clean break if you get into financial woes.

Keep that other $5,000 in a savings account as an "emergency vehicle fund", which in a new vehicle's case, will mostly just be for picking up payments on slow months. that $5000 will cover you for almost 2 years worth of payments if things go wrong.

Seems like a no brainer to me !

Re: Car & Boyfriiend; HELP

Anonymous — Tue, 14 Jul 2015 13:24:12 GMT

Take yourself down to the Mitsubishi dealer. I put 190k miles in 6 years on one before I totaled it. You can pick up a 2 year old nicely equipped Lancer for about $13k.

Oh, and the only thing I ever did maintenance & repair wise was an oil change about twice a year.

Re: Car & Boyfriiend; HELP

LuckyBird — Wed, 15 Jul 2015 03:25:33 GMT

We bought both of our daughters new Nissan Versa sedans when they went to college. They are great little cars, very reliable, and very affordable. Nicely equipped with mid-level trim package for around $15K. Not stripped-down base models at all. They are cute and sporty and the girls love them. Also significantly roomier (back seat and trunk especially) than many other small "student/young adult" type cars by other makers. Nissan frequently offers great financing deals and I believe their underwriting is pretty lenient for first-time buyers. Maybe check them out - you could make a good down payment & probably end up with a monthly payment of $200 or so, maybe even less.

One of ours (a 2015) was just purchased last fall but the other one we bought in spring of 2012, so she's had it for over 3 years now and we haven't had a moment's trouble from it. And the dealership we bought them from (and my 2012 Altima) gave us lifetime power-train warranties on all of them. I'm Nissan for life now!

Re: Car & Boyfriiend; HELP

Anonymous — Wed, 15 Jul 2015 12:25:53 GMT

I will tell you the same thing, I tell my 21 yo daughter (college student) as well. Dont ever become dependent on a boy friend,.even though the relationship is good, trusty, and loving....well, I will leave it at that.

Also, I would suggest you watch a few episodes of Judge Judy, half her shows are about BF / GF relationships, money, and cars...

Re: Car & Boyfriiend; HELP

Anonymous — Thu, 16 Jul 2015 18:49:50 GMT

@Anonymous wrote:
I will tell you the same thing, I tell my 21 yo daughter (college student) as well. Dont ever become dependent on a boy friend,.even though the relationship is good, trusty, and loving....well, I will leave it at that.

Also, I would suggest you watch a few episodes of Judge Judy, half her shows are about BF / GF relationships, money, and cars...

I learned a lot from watching Judge Judy and The People's Court.

Re: Car & Boyfriiend; HELP

Anonymous — Fri, 17 Jul 2015 03:25:49 GMT

Thanks for all of the advice! My boyfriend isn't too happy about my choice, so I can't really ask him ..

Does anyone have any tips on going to car dealerships? I went to the Mistubishi Dealership in Arlington Texas and it was a nightmare. I had a copy of my credit report and a paper from my credit union agreeing to finance a used car for me at 5% (Not great but you guys know how it goes) and I brought my report in case they could match the financing.

Anyway, I felt like they were pressuring me to buy a car right there like I couldn't even look a few minutes by myself, and they kept bringing managers by everytime I wanted to leave. I want to take my time to get a car, I mean I'm gonna have it for awhile. I like the idea of improving my credit with a revolving loan since I have such a thin profile, but I don't know if I can go through that pain again.

Re: Car & Boyfriiend; HELP

Anonymous — Fri, 17 Jul 2015 07:42:04 GMT

Lol you could get yourself a reliable 04'/'05 used 4-dr Honda Civic in good condition with 120,000 miles for $3K-$5K which should last you til your graduation, even longer. These cars are made to go 200K+ miles as long as you do routine check ups (oil changes etc.)

Good gas mileage and if it breaks down Civic parts are easily found anywhere and everywhere for cheap.

Sounds like your "bf" is a stuck up **bleep**. Don't believe the hype.

Re: Car & Boyfriiend; HELP

jzamarripa3220 — Fri, 17 Jul 2015 08:38:27 GMT

Hi there, my best advice is to do some online shopping/browsing before you step foot in a dealership. That way you can compare more efficiently like check the car fax and kelly blue book and what not, to make sure you're getting a good deal. Plus a little exposure to the market will help you know how much certain cars are going for. I actually really needed an upgrade for a a few months so I just ended up financing an 08 ford (that I saw online) with only 60k miles for just a little more than 9k, which included their "second best warranty". I had to trade in a beater that they really couldn't do anything with but when it came down to the actual loan application, I didn't even have to provide my proof of income. I'm a 21 year old student too, but I've actually been building credit for two whole years now. Oh, and don't sign anything before you read it and I mean all of it. Also don't be afraid to take your time. Remember that you're spending your hard earned money and not nobody else's. My point is, go out and get your own vehicle. You can even negotiate a price over the web.
P.S. Explain to your bf that buying an expensive car isn't in you plans for the immediate future. Hopefully he is understanding enough to respect your decision.

Re: Car & Boyfriiend; HELP

Anonymous — Fri, 17 Jul 2015 13:55:46 GMT

I would only ever get a car loan if you were 100% comfortable with making payments.

As another user said though, buying in cash does mean you are debt free, and it also means your monthly insurance rates go down!

The first car I ever purchased was for $2500 and it gave me 80,000 miles with only $2,000 in repairs. Was worth it in my opinion as I didn't want aby debt.

And sorry for saying this, I have family in the automotive industry; but why buy a foreign car? Why not support an American company over a Japanese one?

We are all blessed to live in a country as great as America, and I hope you feel the same way. Take pride in buying everything you can that is made in this beautiful country.

Re: Car & Boyfriiend; HELP

Anonymous — Fri, 17 Jul 2015 14:16:18 GMT

Many of your foreign brands are now assembled in plants right here in the US. Choose a car that is from a reliable brand & model. Check it carefully. Bring a mechanically inclined friend or relative with you. (BTW, that's NOT your boyfriend who has a hard on for one or two brands.) Be aggressive with the salesmen. Sometimes I get accused of being a b because I make it clear that I'm not talking to them. I'm browsing.