topic Re: Irresponsible Aunt must read for all in Relationships and Money

Irresponsible Aunt must read for all

Anonymous514 — Mon, 11 Jan 2016 09:56:33 GMT

Well last year decided to help my aunt rebuild from her bankruptcy (2nd one btw) so authorized her on the discover which was only 750 back then then it bumped up to 1250$ before I removed her as AU. She had two fingerhuts one had a 300$ limit the other a 400$ limit. Well she maxed those I began making payments on them but she raised my rent to fuel her spending even more (don't worry I got the h377 out of there fast!!) and so I stopped paying them and told her you need to start paying these again which she said she would..never did. So then she opened up a credit one card with 300$ limit. Ok. Well she used all but 75$ the first day I was pissed then she was like well an you pay it off I'm not gonna be able to and I said no. I'm still paying what your daughter charged. So it didn't get payed al cards were closed with AA and just recently I checked her CK and she's applying for synch cards like crazy with these closed accounts with AA and a bankruptcy and severely delinquent payments. So glad I moved out of her house and finally payed what she stuck me with on my credit card. I'm glad I'm not like that! Waiting for the day for CK to update with an account because I'll be really surprised! My Grandma is disgusted with how irresponsible she's managed her credit. (Grandma is moms mom my aunt is my dads sister)

Re: Irresponsible Aunt must read for all

Anonymous — Mon, 11 Jan 2016 11:32:01 GMT

Thank you for posting this. This is why we typically caution users against opening AU accounts for family members unless they have absolutely no intention of providing the card to the family member. Hopefully you came out of this without any lates. If your aunt can't use credit responsibly, she's just not going to get any more credit. Eventually the CCCs will blacklist her and that will be all she wrote for the next decade.

Re: Irresponsible Aunt must read for all

core — Mon, 11 Jan 2016 11:37:38 GMT

I can understand adding someone as an AU to help them out. But why give that person a card so they can charge stuff on your account??? That makes little sense. And then you started making payments on her own accounts too? Wow. Why on earth? What does that gain you? And as you now see, it didn't help her out either. Sounds like you were kinda asking to get burned all along the way.

Re: Irresponsible Aunt must read for all

Anonymous514 — Mon, 11 Jan 2016 12:12:44 GMT

She asked before every charge. I assumed because she has a better job than me that she would pay what she owed but she didn't pay me. And when she became irresponsible on her cards I took her off my discover. Fortunately I was able to use some of my savings to pay off what she owed me. This post is to make people aware of the risks of letting people become an authorized user. The only person I will ever authorize on my card again would be a partner I'm dating or engaged to. I have learned my lesson and instead next time will just offer advice to those in need of rebuilding credit.

Re: Irresponsible Aunt must read for all

Anonymous — Mon, 11 Jan 2016 15:08:05 GMT

@bigalkescott514 wrote:
She asked before every charge. I assumed because she has a better job than me that she would pay what she owed but she didn't pay me. And when she became irresponsible on her cards I took her off my discover. Fortunately I was able to use some of my savings to pay off what she owed me. This post is to make people aware of the risks of letting people become an authorized user. The only person I will ever authorize on my card again would be a partner I'm dating or engaged to. I have learned my lesson and instead next time will just offer advice to those in need of rebuilding credit.

As others have said, the risk isn't so much adding as AU, but in giving them the card to charge with. If they don't have the card, they can benefit from the good history of the card without having the chance to destroy it. (This also depends on the FICO system and whether the AU appears to be legitimate. I think FICO 8 tries to discount "random" AUs with no clear connection to the account holder)

Re: Irresponsible Aunt must read for all

Imperfectfuture — Mon, 11 Jan 2016 15:51:44 GMT

@bigalkescott514 wrote:
She asked before every charge. I assumed because she has a better job than me that she would pay what she owed but she didn't pay me. And when she became irresponsible on her cards I took her off my discover. Fortunately I was able to use some of my savings to pay off what she owed me. This post is to make people aware of the risks of letting people become an authorized user. The only person I will ever authorize on my card again would be a partner I'm dating or engaged to. I have learned my lesson and instead next time will just offer advice to those in need of rebuilding credit.

As reported in earlier threads, do not put dating people as AUs. In fact, my family stopped that practice long ago. Only if married, living together many years. Engaged does not count (same thing happens all the time).

Re: Irresponsible Aunt must read for all

Anonymous514 — Mon, 11 Jan 2016 16:09:56 GMT

Well the dating thing is pretty different because I'm a guy and the other person would be a guy so.

Re: Irresponsible Aunt must read for all

Anonymous — Mon, 11 Jan 2016 16:13:08 GMT

@bigalkescott514 wrote:
Well the dating thing is pretty different because I'm a guy and the other person would be a guy so.

And so,,,? Or is there some reason why gay guys are certain to be more financially reliable than other gender/sexual-orientation combinations?

Re: Irresponsible Aunt must read for all

Anonymous514 — Mon, 11 Jan 2016 16:28:35 GMT

Well I didn't mean it like that. And you really don't wanna bring up that topic with me because I do have certain observations I've made on other sexual orientation/gender combinations.

Re: Irresponsible Aunt must read for all

bdhu2001 — Mon, 11 Jan 2016 16:30:08 GMT

@Imperfectfuture wrote:
@bigalkescott514 wrote:
She asked before every charge. I assumed because she has a better job than me that she would pay what she owed but she didn't pay me. And when she became irresponsible on her cards I took her off my discover. Fortunately I was able to use some of my savings to pay off what she owed me. This post is to make people aware of the risks of letting people become an authorized user. The only person I will ever authorize on my card again would be a partner I'm dating or engaged to. I have learned my lesson and instead next time will just offer advice to those in need of rebuilding credit.
As reported in earlier threads, do not put dating people as AUs. In fact, my family stopped that practice long ago. Only if married, living together many years. Engaged does not count (same thing happens all the time).

Okay. I don't do it for engaged situations, but I don't have anyone in my immediate family who is engage to anyone. However, I think the key is to control the AU card. I add my kids and spouse as AU on a few of my accounts, but I keep the cards.

When I take them out to diner, I pull out their AU card and allow them to sign. That way the AU card get used, but only when I'm present and when it's for something I would pay for anyway.

I previously gave my daughter a shell card for emergencies, but had to take it back when she used it more frequently. I thought a gas card wouldn't be that big a deal, but even that I keep under my control now.

Re: Irresponsible Aunt must read for all

creditguy — Mon, 11 Jan 2016 16:46:19 GMT

@bigalkescott514 wrote:
Well I didn't mean it like that. And you really don't wanna bring up that topic with me because I do have certain observations I've made on other sexual orientation/gender combinations.

Anyone can be financially unreliable or irresponsible no matter your gender, orientation or family relationship status. This is why I stick to the old adage of never doing business with family or friends. There is nothing wrong with helping out someone in need and I commend you for trying, but when it comes to credit I no longer consider adding anyone as an AU, Instead I help them by educating them on what tools and information is available for them to chart their own path. If they are serious about their credit they will take in that information and make the most of it, if not, well no skin off my back and certainly no harm to my credit.

Re: Irresponsible Aunt must read for all

yfan — Mon, 11 Jan 2016 19:01:20 GMT

@bigalkescott514 wrote:
Well the dating thing is pretty different because I'm a guy and the other person would be a guy so.

I'm gay and I'm not sure why this is different. If the contention is that women are more fincially irresposible than men in general, I'd quickly disabuse myself of that notion. Financial responsibility and personal accountability are not gender or sexual orientation specific.

In the context of relationship, my partner and I both have credit cards (me a lot more), but I monitor both his and mine and make sure payments are made - but I don't pay his cards. I remind him and make sure he pays on time and in full. Thankfully, we are both frugal and responsible. The reason I keep an eye on everything is because I'm simply more obsessed about this stuff and like handling finances.

Re: Irresponsible Aunt must read for all

navigatethis12 — Mon, 11 Jan 2016 21:08:07 GMT

In my opinion it's better to pay the things they need done than give money or a card. As others said, add them but do not give a card. I gave my own older brother a card and he paid at first but after a few months ran it up and that was the end of that. He ended up borrowing the money from my mom to pay it off and I didn't speak to him for about two years. Money is the quickest way to completely ruin relationsihps, no matter what the connection. In my opinion, in romantic relationships financial information shouldn't be connected or shared, but it's anyone's choice.

Re: Irresponsible Aunt must read for all

Anonymous514 — Tue, 12 Jan 2016 15:10:14 GMT

Lol I wouldn't date someone who is financially irresponsible.

Re: Irresponsible Aunt must read for all

Anonymous — Mon, 01 Feb 2016 01:57:00 GMT

Even then, if u aren't married, they don't need to have the card.

Re: Irresponsible Aunt must read for all

Shogun — Sun, 07 Feb 2016 04:39:25 GMT

My wife and my 2 kids have my cards. I have alerts that show me everytime they use them, instantly. I wouldn't let anyone else use my cards. I did put one of my neice's on my Discover to help her out, however she has never even seen the card.