topic Re: Marriage and Community Property in Relationships and Money

Marriage and Community Property

tpatterson2k9 — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 03:24:40 GMT

After reading some posts here about the horrible financial situations that can result from marriage and divorce, I was wondering if there is anything that can be done to keep debts separate upon getting married. I live in California (community property state), so I know that any new debts incurred during a marriage are treated as jointly owned by husband and wife, but is there any way to block this clause prior to getting married? I would imagine such language could be added in a prenup, but 1) would this actually be legally binding to the CA's in the event of a divorce, and 2) is there any other ways to keep debts in marriage separate other than a prenup (as it wouldn't look too good to have one signed with a first marriage).

I treat my finances and debt obligations very seriously and responsibly, and I would hate to have a potential spouse undermine this. Several of my family members were forced into BK by their spouses' actions, and I do not want this to ever happen to me. It's not like I plan on getting married any time soon, but I would like to know what my options are when the time comes. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, and my condolences to all those who have suffered at the hands of an ex.

Re: Marriage and Community Property

p- — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 19:01:09 GMT

I live in CA, and have good separation between my credit file and my wife's. When we apply for a new card, whoever has the best credit picture applies, then the other is added as an AU.

Some items like a house or a new car might require both incomes, so would be a joint file. But the best way is to marry someone you can trust., or who understands credit.

Re: Marriage and Community Property

Anonymous — Sun, 29 May 2011 22:50:41 GMT

Well, you both living in CA ... so do I. Which my understanding is 50/50 on the assets and debt no matter what.

Let me add this info ...

I did not receive any of community assets ... money, furniture, etc.

Moreover, he took everything to the TN along with the children include my personal belongings and he still holding my belongings in his house even he had ordered to send it back to me in Aug 2009.

Re: Marriage and Community Property

p- — Tue, 31 May 2011 15:45:36 GMT

Sue him for 10x the value, then if he no shows for court get a good sized judgement against him. Then sell the judgement to a collections company hahahaha

Re: Marriage and Community Property

Anonymous — Tue, 31 May 2011 19:58:56 GMT

I really doesn't like the people like him ~ wants to be over on top of others, I'm the BEST. I guess it comes from "Semper Fi" If he thinks he is in control over me by keeping my belongings and having the physical custody of the children, let him be that way.

Somehow, he gets away from those court orders a lot ... sooooo manyyyyy! It makes me I'm fool by following the court order. I would like to see that he gets caught!

Just curious question:

Whoever went through the break-up or divorce after living together, did you keep his/her personal belongings under your possession?

If you did, Why? How long did you keep it? Did you return it to him/her? When? How?

Re: Marriage and Community Property

Anonymous — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 04:00:07 GMT

First, I would like to ay I am sorry for what you are going through. Stay strong!. After a split in Sep 2010 (married 18 years), I still can't get my soon to be ex to come get the rest of her stuff. In divorce mediation all she kept saying is she wanted her stuff. I have offered to load it up and bring it to her and still it sits in my spare bedroom. Sent her an email tonight and once again I got excuses on why she can't get it. I don't have room for it, I am busy doing other things, I'll get back to you on it, I have to talk to my mom to see if I can put it in her storage and she is out of town. To me, it is one of those things that I want to move on and as long as her stuff is here she still controls the situation. Also she plays the court orders the same way. By court order, I had thirty days to get this stuff to her and I am running over the time limit (this is why I email her so I have a paper trail). Let me be over thirty days in paying court ordered alimony and then see what happens to me. Sorry went on a rant.

Re: Marriage and Community Property

Anonymous — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 08:38:57 GMT

@Anonymous wrote:
First, I would like to ay I am sorry for what you are going through. Stay strong!. After a split in Sep 2010 (married 18 years), I still can't get my soon to be ex to come get the rest of her stuff. In divorce mediation all she kept saying is she wanted her stuff. I have offered to load it up and bring it to her and still it sits in my spare bedroom. Sent her an email tonight and once again I got excuses on why she can't get it. I don't have room for it, I am busy doing other things, I'll get back to you on it, I have to talk to my mom to see if I can put it in her storage and she is out of town. To me, it is one of those things that I want to move on and as long as her stuff is here she still controls the situation. Also she plays the court orders the same way. By court order, I had thirty days to get this stuff to her and I am running over the time limit (this is why I email her so I have a paper trail). Let me be over thirty days in paying court ordered alimony and then see what happens to me. Sorry went on a rant.

That is a very nice of you. Really? Wow!

Good!! I do the same. Unless it's an emergency situation, communicate in the writing is the best way, instead talk over the phone or in person. If possible, have your friend with you as witness when you need to see her. Just be careful ... when you write to her, make sure read it over and over before you hit "send". Don't write with your emotion, write like business letter. I am not good in the grammar, so I normally put it in the bullet style. Then it is easy to see/read/understand. Keep send her an e-mail about her belongings. Use " I " message always instead " You " .

Example: I really would like to know how and when I can bring your belongings to you or when I need to be at home for you to retrieve your belongings. Please let me know.

Same to you ... Stay strong! Don't let her ruin your life!! Don't go down to her level ~