topic Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed? in Relationships and Money

A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

Anonymous — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 01:23:28 GMT

A very foolish friend (against all advice and counsel) put his GF on the title to his home. She got a home equity loan for $80K and spent some of it on home improvements, maybe half.

Of course they're breaking up. At any rate he's not on the loan but she owns half of the house. She's trying to convince him the only solution is selling the house. I don't believe she can force him to sell the house at all. She's not going to ruin her credit and has just about enough in 401K savings to satisfy the loan if sued by the bank.

Aside from buying her out, via arbitration, what are his options?

Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

Booner72 — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 02:10:25 GMT

Oh this is a doosy. My BFF bought a house in only her name, but when they did a HELOC her hubby had to be on that loan. He spent the 30K in a bipolar frenzy and then they divorced. She tried to short sale but he refused to sign off for the 2nd, no short sale for her. Had to file Ch 13. Hopefully this doesn't happen to your friend.

Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

Anonymous — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 02:23:39 GMT

She's definitely reality challenged but very serious about maintaining perfect credit.

He isn't on the home equity loan and the mortgage has never been late.

My guess is that she's the one who's screwed... For now. He could probably afford to cover a second mortgage fort the actual amount spent making the improvements she had to have, if that meant getting her off the title but not a full $80K.

She does own half the house, though. I hope it doesn't end up one of those "nice guys finish last" stories. He's soft but really did think they were getting married and really wouldn't listen to anyone who warned him that this would happen. Any time someone said "Don't do it" he was convinced people either didn't like her or weren't being supportive.

Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

Anonymous — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 02:29:04 GMT

is this something he agreed to or did she conveniently go behind his back and get approved with the bank without him knowing? wouldnt you need both signatures to get approved for an equity line of credit?!

Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

Anonymous — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 03:08:47 GMT

He says no loan papers were signed beyond giving proof the home was half hers. He's going to the bank and asking for paperwork in the morning. I even asked about cosigning and so on but he denies ever signing anything beyond agreeing about her half ownership of the home.

He's an extremely emotional guy and not the type to look after himself, when in a relationship. Half the house was supposed to make her happy, LOL! He's not young so there's really no excuse for being this naive.

Kick in the pants? She was just trying to take out another $20K and pay down credit card debt less than two weeks ago. My guess is a lot of the $80K went to debts she incurred prior to hooking up with him. His house was essentially a shack and could have been rebuilt for less than $80K, it just happens to be in a nice area.

Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

Walt_K — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 14:04:07 GMT

Your friend may need to see a lawyer. Not sure that she own half the house in the manner you might be thinking. Joint ownership can be complicated and who has what rights against the other for improvements to the property and the costs of those improvements is also complicated. I'd want to talk to a lawyer to find out at the very least how to prevent her from taking out further home equity loans.

Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

GregB — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 15:22:19 GMT

Obviously your friend has big problems. Several things seem wrong here. I doubt a bank would use a house as collateral without signatures from all persons on the title. He needs to see a lawyer for this as it will be complicated and probably expensive.

I think everyone here is assuming that just because she is on title, that she gets half the value of the house. This may vary in different states, but that seems unlikely. There are way too many possibilities here to even guess at the outcome. It is safe to say that some attorneys will be happy that these two were so foolish.

Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

Lel — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 15:51:04 GMT

@GregB wrote:
Obviously your friend has big problems. Several things seem wrong here. I doubt a bank would use a house as collateral without signatures from all persons on the title. He needs to see a lawyer for this as it will be complicated and probably expensive.

I think everyone here is assuming that just because she is on title, that she gets half the value of the house. This may vary in different states, but that seems unlikely. There are way too many possibilities here to even guess at the outcome. It is safe to say that some attorneys will be happy that these two were so foolish.

+1.

No loan can be taken out on a house without the consent of everyone on the title. At some point in the application process your friend must have signed a document that allowed the loan to be made.

He needs a lawyer to help sort this out, without a doubt.

Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

Anonymous — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 16:05:54 GMT

He definitely signed paperwork allowing the loan to take place but it is not in his name. Just wondering if she can force him to sell.

Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

Anonymous — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 14:19:47 GMT

Update: Lawyer sent her an offer to buy his half of the house at half appraised value (used for home equity loan used for improvements, CC debt and the new car she had to have) and he's looking at a new house. Apparently the reality of his poor credit and likely inability to get a new mortgage hasn't set in.

Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

Booner72 — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 19:17:31 GMT

That sucks seriously that he has to buy her out. Live and learn. He won't make this mistake again !

Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

Anonymous — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 19:39:47 GMT

@Booner72 wrote:
That sucks seriously that he has to buy her out. Live and learn. He won't make this mistake again !

Only someone who didn't know him would make that statement, LOL!

Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

Booner72 — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 04:08:18 GMT

drkaje - You mean he will make the same mistake again?

Boy it's been a while since this was posted - I guess people don't spend much time in the "relationship" section.

How's it going for your friend?

Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

Anonymous — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 12:21:40 GMT

Booner72,

He's still sharing the house with her. Both of them are waiting for a buy-out hoping selling the house will solve all their financial issues. She wants to sell and pay off CC debt, mortgage, and home equity loan. He wants $30K for a down payment on another home in the same area.

Unfortunately, the appraiser was a little too generous with his estimate (my guess would be by about $20K) so both of them are kinda stuck with the price. I mean they both know it's wrong but each are determined to get that number out of the sale.

This will be the third house he's lost in a break-up/divorce.

He's currently seeking sympathy on Facebook. I'm not on any social network sites but the GF is.

Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

Anonymous — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 18:35:37 GMT

Update: He's giving up rights to the house and reciving no compensation other than being off the mortgage.

Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

Anonymous — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 18:36:40 GMT

Do these three letters accurately describe your reaction: smh

Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

Anonymous — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 18:58:00 GMT

@Anonymous wrote:
Do these three letters accurately describe your reaction: smh

In his defense.... the guy is very emotional, easlily led by women, and not too bright. Everyone begged, argued, and pleaded with him against signing half the house over to no avail. He wanted to make her happy (Honestly, I'd write "shut her up" but don't want to get anyone going) and stop hearing about how not being on the mortgage was too insecure a position to be in and live there.

It was a disaster we all saw coming but all the advice was met with his or her saying we were being unsupportive of their relationship. He also felt we couldn't see what a deep commection they had, versus all the other relationships, LOL! What a maroon!

The only real surprise would have been if he grew a pair or did something smart. Irony is he's actually not the type to learn from this at all and blames her for his stupidity.

Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

marty56 — Sat, 14 Apr 2012 11:19:49 GMT

It would be great if you could put a credit freeze on someone else's CR for their own good.

Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

Anonymous — Sat, 14 Apr 2012 12:40:40 GMT

@marty56 wrote:
It would be great if you could put a credit freeze on someone else's CR for their own good.

He has no credit. The mortgage was privately held.

Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

LIGHTNIN — Sat, 14 Apr 2012 13:55:18 GMT

Sad to say, I know 5 guys that every penny was sucked out of them by women, most even left with debt. Oh you know the end to the story, these women(can't say the word I wand to use) did move on to other victims.

One was a neighbor, he meet her after his mom passed away leaving him with an inheritance. Short story, they married bought the house next door PIF also a truck for him PIF, she mortgage the house away with a gambling problem, he sold his truck (that broke his heart)they divorced, bank got the house,she went her way he went his. I seen him again, a few years later and he said" he wants her back".

These women would divide and concur, want I mean is. After they came in these guys life's, they would cut off all contact with friends and relatives. By saying, all of them hate her, he's the only one who understands her. Everyone but these guys could see exactly what was going on,these women brainwashed these guys.

One of these guys is a relative, all happened recently a week ago. He took out a car title loan a month ago, at 266% so she could have some money. I talked with her, she said it was her loan she would pay it back. Well that didn't happen,shes gone. I'm afraid he is going to lose the car. I called the loan place, they said he needs to pay 134 a week to refinance the loan with 5% going toward the principle. That should be illegal, I checked it's not.

I wish I knew, what we can do to save these guys, but I don't. Time and pray maybe the only things to helps.