topic Re: Do you ask your parents to pay you money back when they ask to borrow money? in Relationships and Money

Do you ask your parents to pay you money back when they ask to borrow money?

Anonymous — Sat, 10 Dec 2016 01:47:37 GMT

For my parents, its a big fat no lol

They believed that since they spent hundreds of thousand dollars to raise me, I should let them borrow as much money from me as they want and they never have to pay a dime back lol

I'm okay with it most of the time because they haven't ask for anything outrageous.

Do you agree? Disagree? How does money play a role in your relationship with your parents?

Re: Do you ask your parents to pay you money back when they ask to borrow money?

Anonymous — Sat, 10 Dec 2016 21:17:22 GMT

My parents have never asked to borrow money from me, but if they did, I think they would pay it back as soon as possible. Their cell phones are on my plan and they pay me like clockwork on the first of every month without me ever asking.

Re: Do you ask your parents to pay you money back when they ask to borrow money?

Anonymous — Sat, 10 Dec 2016 23:33:36 GMT

My mother occasionally borrows money from me. The most she has ever owed me was $1,200. She always pays it back, usually around tax return time.

They way I think of it is that I'm giving her a gift and if she pays me back...great! If she doesn't, I'll probably not give too many "gifts" in the future lol

My mom isn't as well off as me. I don't mind helping out if she needs it.

Re: Do you ask your parents to pay you money back when they ask to borrow money?

stargazer25 — Mon, 12 Dec 2016 07:31:46 GMT

I've been the family bank. Including my parents. Nope. Not again.

Re: Do you ask your parents to pay you money back when they ask to borrow money?

TheVig — Mon, 12 Dec 2016 11:33:15 GMT

Nobody wants to borrow money from me. I demand FULL disclosure as to why they always need to borrow money. It seems nobody wants to address their behavior when it comes to finances.

I also don't cosign anything. Period.

Re: Do you ask your parents to pay you money back when they ask to borrow money?

Anonymous — Mon, 12 Dec 2016 17:52:49 GMT

They raised your ass. You dont ask them to pay you back.

Re: Do you ask your parents to pay you money back when they ask to borrow money?

Anonymous — Tue, 13 Dec 2016 20:08:22 GMT

Frm my country is an dishonour to demand the repyamet amongst your parents for personal lends and only for contracted business is a proper time to have repaid

Re: Do you ask your parents to pay you money back when they ask to borrow money?

Anonymous — Tue, 13 Dec 2016 20:56:52 GMT

For me, I give it to them, it's not a loan to my parents. I'm very lucky and they have always been there for me.

Now anybody else, I write it down and no more is loaned until that is paid back.

Re: Do you ask your parents to pay you money back when they ask to borrow money?

Anonymous — Wed, 14 Dec 2016 03:50:23 GMT

@TheVig wrote:
Nobody wants to borrow money from me. I demand FULL disclosure as to why they always need to borrow money. It seems nobody wants to address their behavior when it comes to finances.

I also don't cosign anything. Period.

Same here.

Re: Do you ask your parents to pay you money back when they ask to borrow money?

fullstackdev — Wed, 14 Dec 2016 04:12:12 GMT

My mom has horrible credit and would always use all of her available credit and pay it back with minimum payments. But whenever she borrows money from me, she pays it back as soon as possible. I've never asked her to pay me back, this has just always been the case.

Recently, I even added her as an AU to all of my USAA cards, my AMEX cards, my Chase Freedom, and my Walmart store card. She has never spent an unreasonable amount even though the limits are higher than any she's ever had access to. And she transfers money to my USAA account every payday for me to make payments, usually paying in full.

Re: Do you ask your parents to pay you money back when they ask to borrow money?

Anonymous — Wed, 14 Dec 2016 04:28:29 GMT

Definetly would ask them to pay me back. My parents waste money on an opulent lifestyle, regardless they have never asked. I also agree with other posters that I don't lend money to anyone and do not cosign either.

Re: Do you ask your parents to pay you money back when they ask to borrow money?

sarge12 — Wed, 14 Dec 2016 04:45:57 GMT

I can never get my Mother to accept not paying me back, but I would prefer that she just accept it as a gift. She always says she does not want to take advantage of me. If I gave her 1000 dollars a month, I might get even with her for what she has given to me since I became an adult in about 10 years....maybe! No way I'll ever ask her to pay me anything back.

Re: Do you ask your parents to pay you money back when they ask to borrow money?

IOBA — Thu, 15 Dec 2016 17:23:01 GMT

I've shared some of my personal experiences with the "parents" on here.

By choice, the parents don't live within their means or manage their money well. I won't go hungry again or rob Peter to pay Paul so they can keep watching cable. Especially since cable is NOT in my budget! They don't want me to know how they spend their money. A recent example was they could not pay their cell phone bill. Again. Since the contract was up, I had suggested that I mail them my old phone and add them to my phone plan. They would pay the $15 a month it would cost to have them on the phone plan [to me, automatic transfer]. We'd share minutes and data. Nope. Instead, she opted to go to her provide and beg for a lower rate. She pays double (? - her bill was $60 a month, just talk) what should would have been paying on my cell plan. Why? Cuz she doesn't want me to know how she uses the cell phone.

It's really tough to live within my means and very challenging to stay on a cash basis and save some money. But I do my best.

What was the question again? Would I ask them to pay me back? No. Would I loan them money? No. Would I help them find a way to take care of their bills? Absolutley. Have in the past and will again.

The bank of IOBA has closed to family members.

Re: Do you ask your parents to pay you money back when they ask to borrow money?

sarge12 — Thu, 15 Dec 2016 17:39:28 GMT

@IOBA wrote:
I've shared some of my personal experiences with the "parents" on here.

By choice, the parents don't live within their means or manage their money well. I won't go hungry again or rob Peter to pay Paul so they can keep watching cable. Especially since cable is NOT in my budget! They don't want me to know how they spend their money. A recent example was they could not pay their cell phone bill. Again. Since the contract was up, I had suggested that I mail them my old phone and add them to my phone plan. They would pay the $15 a month it would cost to have them on the phone plan [to me, automatic transfer]. We'd share minutes and data. Nope. Instead, she opted to go to her provide and beg for a lower rate. She pays double (? - her bill was $60 a month, just talk) what should would have been paying on my cell plan. Why? Cuz she doesn't want me to know how she uses the cell phone.

It's really tough to live within my means and very challenging to stay on a cash basis and save some money. But I do my best.

What was the question again? Would I ask them to pay me back? No. Would I loan them money? No. Would I help them find a way to take care of their bills? Absolutley. Have in the past and will again.

The bank of IOBA has closed to family members.

I think the answers here depend on the relationship between each person and their parents, as well as the responsibility of each individual and his or her parents. Some people do not have responsible parents, and some parents have self involved children who can hardly take care of themselves.

Re: Do you ask your parents to pay you money back when they ask to borrow money?

IOBA — Thu, 15 Dec 2016 18:03:34 GMT

Agreed.

Financially irrresponsible people come in all ages.

Tough times hit people of all ages and circumstances.

My last "loan" to the folks was 5k. They made promises to pay $100 a month until it was paid back. I had to take out a loan to loan them the money. (They knew that.) Haven't seen a penny. After that big one, there have been requests for smaller amounts...always a couple hundred plus. I've said no. And they have found the money in other places.

*sigh* Wouldn't it be great if everyone was financially responsible?? The collection agencies would be out of a job. People would be happier. Well some people might be happier.

Re: Do you ask your parents to pay you money back when they ask to borrow money?

Gunnar419 — Thu, 15 Dec 2016 19:00:52 GMT

Agree with those who say "it depends."

If parents are irresponsible and taking money from their children to go on funding their irresponsibility, either don't loan to them at all or loan but make sure they understand they must pay back and do so on a schedule.

If parents are responsible people asking for money from their children for true emergencies or needs, then give. And payback depends on the quality and established terms of the relationship.

Re: Do you ask your parents to pay you money back when they ask to borrow money?

Thomas_Thumb — Sun, 18 Dec 2016 16:44:24 GMT

It is a moot point for me as my parents are deceased. That being said, my parents provided for all their children and made personal sacrifices along the way. As a result I would feel obligated to take care of them - help with living/medical costs in whatever way was necessary, given I have the means to do so.

Financial gifts for parents - yes within reason. Loans, no - seriously, retired parents on fixed income with a loan re-payment plan?

I think it is tragic that many ailing and/or financially strapped parents are often left to fend for themselves - particularly if offspring have the means to help.

Re: Do you ask your parents to pay you money back when they ask to borrow money?

Turbobuick — Sun, 18 Dec 2016 22:33:50 GMT

Mine are also deceased, long ago. It's hard to imagine my folks borrowing from family as they always lived within their meager means. Most of us 5 kids likely borrowed, and repaid, them at some point in our adult lives. Being children of the great depression, no doubt, helped teach them to spend wisely. I wouldn't have hesitated to give them whatever they needed and never would would expect repayment or spoke of it again.

Re: Do you ask your parents to pay you money back when they ask to borrow money?

tcbofade — Tue, 20 Dec 2016 02:10:42 GMT

Interesting question, and I think you'll find as many different answers as there are different people in the world.

I'm an odd duck, raised with THREE parents. (Mother, Step-Father, and Father)...

...and I have three different answers for you.

I have helped my mother too many times. She's not good with money, and repayment is always an issue.

I helped my step-father many, many times. Never had to ask for repayment, he paid me back promptly and in full on each occassion. He's gone now, but if he were still here, I'd happily help him with dollars and not ask for repayment.

My Father asked me to help once. I did. He did pay me back...eventually. Not sure I'll do that again.

Re: Do you ask your parents to pay you money back when they ask to borrow money?

stellar — Tue, 20 Dec 2016 09:15:50 GMT

Not all parents are created equal lol! Not all parents truly provided for or raised their children or protected them.

I had horrible parents. People who come from normal or good families cannot comprehend how awful some parents can be.

And there are certain people who are just leeches ready to take whatever they can get. So don't loan them money. Sometimes you have to let them learn hard lessons on their own.