topic Re: Overwhelmed in Personal Finance

Overwhelmed

Fester82 — Fri, 03 Mar 2023 04:59:38 GMT

I am 41, and new to trying to get a hold of my finances. Between trying to pay off cc's, my 401k. Building a emergency fund, sometimes I feel life I'm in over my head and overwhelmed with all the directions my money has to go in. There really isn't a question, just ranting to people that would understand. Thanks

Re: Overwhelmed

ghgirll40 — Fri, 03 Mar 2023 05:36:32 GMT

@Fester82 wrote:
I am 41, and new to trying to get a hold of my finances. Between trying to pay off cc's, my 401k. Building a emergency fund, sometimes I feel life I'm in over my head and overwhelmed with all the directions my money has to go in. There really isn't a question, just ranting to people that would understand. Thanks

I recommend focusing on one thing at a time. I'm 42 and that's been my approach. Pay off cc's first, build an emergency fund 2nd, build 401k 3rd. The reason I approached it this way is because when I focused all my money on one thing at a time it was easier to make progress.

Re: Overwhelmed

SweetCreditObsession — Fri, 03 Mar 2023 05:36:56 GMT

Don't beat yourself up. Start small and increase your savings and payments over time. You're ahead of many people because you're executing a plan.

Keep reading, learning, and you'll find yourself improving in time.

Best wishes!😀

Re: Overwhelmed

Yasselife — Fri, 03 Mar 2023 10:47:21 GMT

@Fester82 I'm 39 and take this as a game for adults, meaning I find joy in checking my accounts on Mint app, seeing my emergency fund and credit file improvements, having goals like building good relationships with banks and CU... I understand it can be stressful sometimes though, try to have fun and you'll be even better at it.

Do you do everything electronically?

Re: Overwhelmed

JoeRockhead — Fri, 03 Mar 2023 13:01:28 GMT

When I was 41 my financial life was a complete wreck, with an ugly divorce sprinkled on top for a little more added stress. The simple fact that you're focused and concerned about having a hold on everything speaks volumes. Sometimes you just have to stop, and breathe. Stay focused on what's important, and what isn't, it gets better, and easier as time goes on.

Re: Overwhelmed

Fester82 — Fri, 03 Mar 2023 13:22:11 GMT

Thank you all for the support and advice. I appreciate it.

Re: Overwhelmed

LakeLife — Fri, 03 Mar 2023 14:03:07 GMT

@JoeRockhead wrote:
When I was 41 my financial life was a complete wreck, with an ugly divorce sprinkled on top for a little more added stress. The simple fact that you're focused and concerned about having a hold on everything speaks volumes. Sometimes you just have to stop, and breathe. Stay focused on what's important, and what isn't, it gets better, and easier as time goes on.

I was 47 and the same thing happened to me. My ex and I were terrible with finances even though we made $200k between the two of us in 2008. The housing market crashed after we purchased a 2nd home in Texas, so she could take her dream job there while I was stuck trying to figure out what to do with our house in Indiana. 18 months later, I finally sold the Indiana house (had to bring $9k to closing after owning it for 12 years) and joined her in Texas. In the meantime, I had to take a $23k cut in pay to find a job in Texas. A year after I joined her in TX, she asked for a divorce. BTW, I left a federal job in Indiana and all the benefits that went with that including 17 years with the feds and my pension, leave, ect.

After the divorce, I had to scramble to build a life for myself while paying $1,500 a month in child support. I lived in my RV for three years in order to make ends meet. I got a job with the Feds in California with a $13k pay raise in 2012, but still not up to my 2010 salary. 18 months after that I got a Fed job in the DC area that finally brought my salary up to where it had been. Along the way I learned to live in minimal lifestyle and met a woman that lived the same. We got marred in 2014 and have had an amazing run of it. Two homes and a bunch of stuff later, and my credit has never been this good. The opportunities as a Fed in the DC area have been amazing, and I'm making more than I ever dreamed I could.

The point is, keep you head up, look for every opportunity there is out there, and find a partner like minded. Chip away at it and good things will happen.

Best of luck to the OP.

Re: Overwhelmed

Yasselife — Fri, 03 Mar 2023 14:10:30 GMT

@LakeLife I can relate to your story, thank you for sharing. Your current situation is my goal to attain in 10 yrs from now. Divorce and child support has put me in the hole but I'm surviving alright.

Re: Overwhelmed

JoeRockhead — Fri, 03 Mar 2023 14:20:37 GMT

@LakeLife wrote:
@JoeRockhead wrote:
When I was 41 my financial life was a complete wreck, with an ugly divorce sprinkled on top for a little more added stress. The simple fact that you're focused and concerned about having a hold on everything speaks volumes. Sometimes you just have to stop, and breathe. Stay focused on what's important, and what isn't, it gets better, and easier as time goes on.
I was 47 and the same thing happened to me. My ex and I were terrible with finances even though we made $200k between the two of us in 2008. The housing market crashed after we purchased a 2nd home in Texas, so she could take her dream job there while I was stuck trying to figure out what to do with our house in Indiana. 18 months later, I finally sold the Indiana house (had to bring $9k to closing after owning it for 12 years) and joined her in Texas. In the meantime, I had to take a $23k cut in pay to find a job in Texas. A year after I joined her in TX, she asked for a divorce. BTW, I left a federal job in Indiana and all the benefits that went with that including 17 years with the feds and my pension, leave, ect.

After the divorce, I had to scramble to build a life for myself while paying $1,500 a month in child support. I lived in my RV for three years in order to make ends meet. I got a job with the Feds in California with a $13k pay raise in 2012, but still not up to my 2010 salary. 18 months after that I got a Fed job in the DC area that finally brought my salary up to where it had been. Along the way I learned to live in minimal lifestyle and met a woman that lived the same. We got marred in 2014 and have had an amazing run of it. Two homes and a bunch of stuff later, and my credit has never been this good. The opportunities as a Fed in the DC area have been amazing, and I'm making more than I ever dreamed I could.

The point is, keep you head up, look for every opportunity there is out there, and find a partner like minded. Chip away at it and good things will happen.

Best of luck to the OP.

Sounds awfully familiar @LakeLife , lol. Although I was left being a single parent, it seems we've traveled very similar paths. Always great to hear another success story as it serves as great inspiration, and proving that focus and persistance pays off.

Re: Overwhelmed

AndySoCal — Fri, 03 Mar 2023 15:07:48 GMT

@Fester82 I agree with what has already been said. On the 401K depending on all your other financial circumstances I would make a suggestion. If your employer is making a matching contribution I would suggest you contribution ensures you receive the maxium amount matched. I call the amount matched free money. If not now at some point in in the future.

Re: Overwhelmed

Brian_Earl_Spilner — Fri, 03 Mar 2023 15:15:03 GMT

It happens. I feel that way at times. About a year ago I left my job of 16 years because of the mental and emotional abuse. I couldn't take it anymore. One day I just took a job with a little over 33% pay cut and left. It's been very difficult but thankfully I have friends I was able to lean on. Went from only a car payment and 60k sitting across a few accounts to broke and ran up credit cards as I had to adjust my cost of living. At times I wondered if I made a mistake as it appeared that I merely traded one set of problems for another.

A year later and my pay is back to what it was during the pandemic. Next year I should be making what I was when I left my old job. I'm no longer in the hole as of this month, but now I'm paying down the debt and have to rebuild my savings. All while life keeps kicking me when I'm down. There have definitely been times where I wanted to just give up, but I spent 5 years rebuilding and don't want that going down the drain.

At this point, I'm just trying to control what I can and focus on one thing at a time. I suggest you do the same. Its helped my mental health greatly.

Re: Overwhelmed

Fester82 — Sat, 04 Mar 2023 22:36:57 GMT

My job matches 4% so I lowered it to 4% from 10 til I pay off my cards

Re: Overwhelmed

SweetCreditObsession — Sun, 05 Mar 2023 06:49:21 GMT

@Fester82 - thanks for this posting. Based on the responses, it's clear that you're in the same boat as many of us. Some are on the other side, but they're here to offer support.

I hope you get additional practical tips to help you.

Re: Overwhelmed

acreditdummy123 — Sun, 05 Mar 2023 08:40:47 GMT

at least you're improving yourself. some people never get to this step

Re: Overwhelmed

Brian_Earl_Spilner — Sun, 05 Mar 2023 16:36:28 GMT

@Fester82 wrote:
My job matches 4% so I lowered it to 4% from 10 til I pay off my cards

Honestly, I stopped contributing for now. While tax free and free money from employer, it does me absolutely nothing for the next 20 years and it's an additional 160 a month I can use to pay down bills. My current priority is survival and that requires me to pay things down quick.

Re: Overwhelmed

Fester82 — Sun, 05 Mar 2023 20:34:46 GMT

I hear you, as i am in the same boat. The total Cards did their job. But They will be the 1st 2 cards I pay off, and even if it hurts my score, it wont be perm. As I will also cut the cards that have a minimum payment that acts like total. Where the card could be paid off and the payment would still be $41.00. All those types of cards will be on the chopping block.

Re: Overwhelmed

LakeLife — Mon, 06 Mar 2023 13:04:13 GMT

@Brian_Earl_Spilner wrote:
@Fester82 wrote:
My job matches 4% so I lowered it to 4% from 10 til I pay off my cards
Honestly, I stopped contributing for now. While tax free and free money from employer, it does me absolutely nothing for the next 20 years and it's an additional 160 a month I can use to pay down bills. My current priority is survival and that requires me to pay things down quick.

I had to drop down to 3% at one time, and that was a tough pill to swallow. But getting right with creditors takes priority. The good thing about my match was that we're matched at 4% for our 3% allotment. We only get an additional 1/2% for 4 and 5%, so I was only leaving 1% on the table. But you've got to do what you've got to do.

Re: Overwhelmed

Anonymous — Mon, 06 Mar 2023 23:52:21 GMT

@Brian_Earl_Spilner wrote:
@Fester82 wrote:
My job matches 4% so I lowered it to 4% from 10 til I pay off my cards
Honestly, I stopped contributing for now. While tax free and free money from employer, it does me absolutely nothing for the next 20 years and it's an additional 160 a month I can use to pay down bills. My current priority is survival and that requires me to pay things down quick.

That was my thought. Though I am in retirement, and your job is to beat yourself up about everything you didn't contribute, money that is frozen for years isn't useful, even when free, if there are other committments to meet.

Re: Overwhelmed

TRC_WA — Wed, 08 Mar 2023 00:34:18 GMT

@LakeLife wrote:
so I was only leaving 1% on the table. But you've got to do what you've got to do.

@LakeLife

Yeah the whole "leaving money on the table" thing is something I absolutely refuse to do.

I changed jobs 18 months ago... the new job is 5 mile from home with better pay than I had on my previous job that was 25 miles from home.

A while back the old job called me up and said "hey, would you like to make some money on the side?" I'm like "sure.. you can match what I'm making on the new job." They agreed... and I'm working on the side at my old job. Some weeks are 10-12 hours... some are 40 hrs... on top of the 40 I'm doing on my new job.

It's doable because I do CNC machining where I set it up and babysit the machine for hours and hours. I was given the OK to sleep... so I do when I'm working nights after working all day.

It's $6-8k a month on the side... and no way do I leave that on the table because if I don't take it someone else will in this economy.

Re: Overwhelmed

Financial_Selfcare2023 — Wed, 08 Mar 2023 02:08:56 GMT

I'd like to first encourage you to keep your head up. I understand it feels overwhelming and it seems like there is not end in sight however, you can get past this if you just glo slow and not stress out. Secondly, I would strongly suggest paying off the credit card debt first by paying the smallest bill first. Most peole would tell you to focus on the highest interest rate however, I believe it's importnt to see a lot of tiny wins first to stay motivated. As you pay off a card, use the money for that card and add to the next bill. As you continue this strategy, your credit cards will be paid off.

@Fester82 wrote:
I am 41, and new to trying to get a hold of my finances. Between trying to pay off cc's, my 401k. Building a emergency fund, sometimes I feel life I'm in over my head and overwhelmed with all the directions my money has to go in. There really isn't a question, just ranting to people that would understand. Thanks