topic Re: Peoples bad money habits annoy me in Personal Finance

Peoples bad money habits annoy me

Anonymous — Sun, 14 Feb 2016 12:38:09 GMT

I bet the percentage of people that truly get themselves into debt due to their own stupidity and greed has to be a worryingly high number.

First of all let me explain that I was raised in a household where my Mom recieved no child support from my father after their divorce.

Raising two very young children literally on her own, having to take a much lower paying job just to allow her to be able to spend time with her children as they grew up.

Her debt was understandable to me, as she didn't really have much of a choice, it was rather debt; or we don't eat. I had very few luxuries growing up.

So I understand that some peoples debt is pretty much unavoidable!

But what really annoys me are the people that constantly complain about their debt, yet they pay a $250 cable bill every month for example. Just don't have cable at that point, you cannot afford it.

Understand a need from a want.

Or at least don't complain about it, because you don't have the right to.

Thanks to my upbringing, I PIF every month and have a pretty comfortable savings account.

I also don't buy things I cannot afford.

Your credit line is not there to be used just because the banks are your friend and they want you to treat yourself.

Although they do, because then you pay them interest and late fee's when you realize you bought one too many TV's over the holiday season you just HAD to have.

Rant over

Re: Peoples bad money habits annoy me

pipeguy — Sun, 14 Feb 2016 02:58:56 GMT

AlthoughI understand your point, and basically agree with most of your comments about using credit for needs over wants, I don't see why it annoys you - it doesn't affect you at all....

I see a lot of threads on MyFico where the "inexperienced" tend to either get caught up in the marketing of ego driven cards, or especially waste a ton of money on cars - lux and high end cars. We can offer advice, we can make a case for don't do it or think first long term, but the final choice is theirs not ours. Their choice doesn't annoy me me at all, their pending disaster in some cases is their problem, not mine.

I've spent well over a million dollars on cars/trucks/boats/bikes in my life time (yes I'm old), looking back I should have bought more real estate and less "toys", but hindsight is 20/20. Today I can afford my vices and pleasures, which doesn't mean I waste a ton of money on toys anymore, but at the same time I'm not going to save every dollar I don't need for basic housing and food, just to leave it for my kids to fight over - now THAT would annoy me, even though I'd be dead by then.

Lot's of folks make what may end up as stupid choices every day, on money matters and other things - their call, their choice, their results. I have a hard enough time worrying about my life to have any time of effort being annoyed at other peoples children or choices

Re: Peoples bad money habits annoy me

Anonymous — Sun, 14 Feb 2016 03:08:31 GMT

@pipeguy wrote:
AlthoughI understand your point, and basically agree with most of your comments about using credit for needs over wants, I don't see why it annoys you - it doesn't affect you at all....

I see a lot of threads on MyFico where the "inexperienced" tend to either get caught up in the marketing of ego driven cards, or especially waste a ton of money on cars - lux and high end cars. We can offer advice, we can make a case for don't do it or think first long term, but the final choice is theirs not ours. Their choice doesn't annoy me me at all, their pending disaster in some cases is their problem, not mine.

I've spent well over a million dollars on cars/trucks/boats/bikes in my life time (yes I'm old), looking back I should have bought more real estate and less "toys", but hindsight is 20/20. Today I can afford my vices and pleasures, which doesn't mean I waste a ton of money on toys anymore, but at the same time I'm not going to save every dollar I don't need for basic housing and food, just to leave it for my kids to fight over - now THAT would annoy me, even though I'd be dead by then.

Lot's of folks make what may end up as stupid choices every day, on money matters and other things - their call, their choice, their results. I have a hard enough time worrying about my life to have any time of effort being annoyed at other peoples children or choices

It annoys me because I hear people complain about it too much! My auntie and work colleagues mostly.

And my point was not to save every penny to put towards savings and housing, my point was to only do this if your only other option is DEBT due to things that are not needs.

Your income should reflect how much you can treat yourself.

Because people very rarely say "I think getting myself into $10,000 worth of CC debt was worth it".

But yes, I should worry less about these people, I just like to vent every now and then

Re: Peoples bad money habits annoy me

barbaralee — Sun, 14 Feb 2016 16:09:56 GMT

I can relate. I have a friend who is along the same lines. He complains, complains, complains, but then trades in his new SUV that just hit 7k miles for another new SUV with 0 down. He has massive credit card debt but he is spending his tax refund on a new computer and guns. He complains he is drowning in debt, but he has done nothing to change the situation. We actually got into it a few weeks ago because he kept bitching, and I recommended he watch the documentary Happy. He said what it comes down to is that spending money and acquiring possessions makes him happy. If he saved for something then by the time he finishes saving he will no longer want that item, and then he is unhappy.

It is annoying, but I try to keep an open mind that that is just how he is.

Re: Peoples bad money habits annoy me

iv — Sun, 14 Feb 2016 19:56:21 GMT

Some (many) people are going to persistently make bad financial choices.

But... it's their choice.

In some cases you have a direct legal/moral/family obligation to help them make the right choice, and forums like this certainly provide help to those already looking for the right choice. But it's still their choice.

Remember, it's the volume of people making those bad choices (always carrying balances, not understanding the terms of deferred-interest options, paying late fees), but not actually defaulting - that's what directly funds the rewards/bonuses people making "optimal" choices can benefit from.

Whether you view that as a "stupidity tax" and gleefully take advantage... or whether it deeply bothers you... that's an individual moral/ethical choice as well.

Re: Peoples bad money habits annoy me

Gunnar419 — Sun, 14 Feb 2016 22:09:07 GMT

Yep, it's their choice, but that doesn't mean we can't feel annoyed at watching people make bad choices. When they make consistently bad choices then expect our sympathy it's even worse.

I'm glad MyFico has a "no judgment" policy. I think that's a good way to go for a forum that welcomes a lot of rebuilders. I have to admit, though, that when I see things like somebody who has just been through Chapter 7 asking how to finance a $50,000 car, or people asking how they can get BIG, guaranteed low interest loans so they can pay off their maxed out credit cards, or people who expect the government to help them finance brand-new cars, I grit my teeth.

Do I snark at them? No, that wouldn't be in the spirit of MyFico, but that doesn't mean I don't quietly go off and say, "OMG, what are they thinking?"

I also live in an area with fairly high poverty and I'm not exactly rich myself. But I manage my money as best I can and am sometimes incredulous watching people who say they can't afford their rent or bills splurging on drugs, alcohol, or other luxuries. It does affect me, too, because those people often get public assistance not because they've had bad breaks but because they've behaved badly.

Re: Peoples bad money habits annoy me

Callandra — Mon, 15 Feb 2016 01:26:22 GMT

@Gunnar419 wrote:

I also live in an area with fairly high poverty and I'm not exactly rich myself. But I manage my money as best I can and am sometimes incredulous watching people who say they can't afford their rent or bills splurging on drugs, alcohol, or other luxuries. It does affect me, too, because those people often get public assistance not because they've had bad breaks but because they've behaved badly.

When I worked at Target, do you know how many people I used to ring out that used EBT cards for food (of course, they would pay for their alcohol in a separate transaction) that had brand new iPhones, perfectly manicured nails (obviously done at a salon) with designer bags? A lot. I'm not sure what was going on but I'm pretty sure some of it was pretty fishy!! And a lot of times people just bought junk food with those. Obviously that didn't really happen with WIC checks but I saw a lot of YOUNG women with WIC checks..

People do make bad decisions. Yes, it bothers me too but in the end, sometimes people have to build their own graves. I don't judge anyone since I don't know what went on in their lives to make them where they are today.

I did have one friend though who was really bad with paying her bills. She didn't pay her water bill. So the water company sent her another bill and gave her two weeks to pay it. She didn't pay that and they turned off her water. Then she called me that night (when she got home and realized her water was off) all upset that her water was off. I asked about her paying and she's like, "no, I didn't pay it. And I didn't pay the second one they sent me..." I think she wanted me to invite her over to my place for the night but I didn't since you know what, she had money for a brand new Juicy Couture bag earlier that week so I know she could've paid!!! I don't know about here in the US but this was in Japan and the water company closed at like 5 so she had to wait the next day. Yeah, maybe it was mean of me to not invite her over but you know sometimes...

Re: Peoples bad money habits annoy me

Anonymous — Mon, 15 Feb 2016 04:05:44 GMT

While I understand the sentiment, how on earth do you survive these forums?

Re: Peoples bad money habits annoy me

Appleman — Mon, 15 Feb 2016 13:51:08 GMT

I certainly understand the disdain people feel towards those living beyond their means and complaining about their current situation. Many have professed the 'tough love' approach of, you made the mess now you clean it up.

I am wondering at what point can society intervene to help people not head down the path of a financed lifestyle that is well beyond their means? One thing that I know was lacking even when I was in high school was a basic education in finance/economics (class of 85). I am sure the education would be lost on some but at least make the effort. Bring in real life people, say a doctor who is an indentured slave to their student loans and lifestyle and a person making $35,000 a year who is living within their means. Hopefully the point would not be lost that decisions today can drastically alter the course of your future.

Personally, trying to get my kids headed down the right financial path is a goal of mine. I hope they can learn from my experiences (wins and losses).

Re: Peoples bad money habits annoy me

Gunnar419 — Mon, 15 Feb 2016 15:10:25 GMT

@Anonymous wrote:
While I understand the sentiment, how on earth do you survive these forums?

I find these forums to be refreshing and encouraging. Many MyFicoans have royally screwed up in the past, but the vast majority of those are now resolving to get their financial houses in order and working hard at doing so, which is GREAT. IMHO, only a minority of the participants here still show an attachment to old, bad financial ways, and even those are here where they can get help.

The problem isn't screwing up. We all do that in some way at some time. The problem is not learning from our own mistakes and I think MyFicoans are pretty determined when it comes to learning.

Re: Peoples bad money habits annoy me

Gunnar419 — Mon, 15 Feb 2016 15:16:21 GMT

@Appleman wrote:
I certainly understand the disdain people feel towards those living beyond their means and complaining about their current situation. Many have professed the 'tough love' approach of, you made the mess now you clean it up.

I am wondering at what point can society intervene to help people not head down the path of a financed lifestyle that is well beyond their means? One thing that I know was lacking even when I was in high school was a basic education in finance/economics (class of 85). I am sure the education would be lost on some but at least make the effort. Bring in real life people, say a doctor who is an indentured slave to their student loans and lifestyle and a person making $35,000 a year who is living within their means. Hopefully the point would not be lost that decisions today can drastically alter the course of your future.

Personally, trying to get my kids headed down the right financial path is a goal of mine. I hope they can learn from my experiences (wins and losses).

Good post, Appleman.

I don't think society should ever intervene in people's personal financial lives. If society means their family and friends, that's fine but society usually means government, which means heavy handedness from institutions that are themselves financially screwed up. I do think you're right, though, that kids in general could use a LOT better grounding in personal finance before they reach adulthood and your ideas for presenting schoolkids with real world examples are great!

It's definitely a problem that most kids don't get any such education and that those who might need it most (like ones who come from financially irresponsible homes) are least likely to get it.

Re: Peoples bad money habits annoy me

Anonymous — Mon, 15 Feb 2016 16:30:42 GMT

I get super annoyed at some people in my life who like to complain to me about their financial ruins. They complain and complain yet do nothing to solve the problem. One is neck high in debt and bought a new car, that he couldn't afford a few weeks ago, and as Murphy would have it, he lost his job a few days ago. I could go on and on, but I am learning not to dwell on these things. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

Re: Peoples bad money habits annoy me

Appleman — Tue, 16 Feb 2016 17:16:52 GMT

Gunnar419, you make a great point about not getting the government too involved. Adding to the high school curriculum would be my biggest suggestion, make the information available.

Annipoo, I certainly understand your situation. My wife gets frustrated at times that I refuse to give money to some friends who could really use the money. They made a lot of very poor decisions and are now suffering financially because of there poor choices (cars, vacations, pools, bankruptcy). I tell her that as soon as we give a little money they will view us as a source of income and it will change the dynamics of our friendship.

We are quick to offer in ways that do not include doling out cash, a ride here, help with a project etc. I know my kids have learned a lot from our friends by seeing what living beyond one's means can do to a family.

Re: Peoples bad money habits annoy me

iv — Tue, 16 Feb 2016 18:59:38 GMT

@Appleman wrote:
Gunnar419, you make a great point about not getting the government too involved. Adding to the high school curriculum would be my biggest suggestion, make the information available.

Already done (elementary, middle, and high school)....

http://ficoforums.myfico.com/t5/Mortgage-Loans/Whats-your-Real-Mortgage-Score/m-p/4205884#M178894

Re: Peoples bad money habits annoy me

Anonymous — Tue, 16 Feb 2016 19:06:02 GMT

I wish they had offered that in my kids' schools. I will be teaching them that myself.

Re: Peoples bad money habits annoy me

Anonymous — Tue, 16 Feb 2016 20:01:39 GMT

@Anonymous wrote:
I get super annoyed at some people in my life who like to complain to me about their financial ruins. They complain and complain yet do nothing to solve the problem. One is neck high in debt and bought a new car, that he couldn't afford a few weeks ago, and as Murphy would have it, he lost his job a few days ago. I could go on and on, but I am learning not to dwell on these things. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

Not my circus, not my monkeys. I started applauding here at work! +1

I was handed some old Oprah and Glamour magazines yesterday, and 2 things stood out. 1. Glamour. How to find a good man. Step number 4. Ask his FICO score.

2. Suzy Orman, my new Spirit Guide. In Oprah. Steps in relationships, do NOT move in nor marry a person without learning to communicate about finances. Period.

Last story, coworker berates me all year about my "credit card obsession." Yesterday, he softly retells, "I need a new Mac so applied for a $1000 loan and got denied." Long story short, the man who belittled me about my life changing goals of financial knowledge, applied for 6 credit cards over the weekend and was denied. He doesn't know why. I know. He has a foreclosure, a repo, and is only an AU on 2 of his wife's credit cards. I gave him some advice, wrote down several secured cards he could research.

he tossed the notes in the recycle bin.

Not my circus, not my monkeys. I'm still reading my girl Suzy and building my healthy financial future.

Re: Peoples bad money habits annoy me

Anonymous — Tue, 16 Feb 2016 20:22:47 GMT

Sometimes people know they need a lesson but aren't ready to learn it.

Re: Peoples bad money habits annoy me

Callandra — Wed, 17 Feb 2016 00:14:05 GMT

@iv wrote:
@Appleman wrote:
Gunnar419, you make a great point about not getting the government too involved. Adding to the high school curriculum would be my biggest suggestion, make the information available.
Already done (elementary, middle, and high school)....
http://ficoforums.myfico.com/t5/Mortgage-Loans/Whats-your-Real-Mortgage-Score/m-p/4205884#M178894

That really should be country-wide. Would've been wayyy more useful than most of the classes I took in school. I don't know why schools do not require this. It's imperitve that I had to take an art course to be "cultured" (yes, my high school required one year of either art or music), but I had no financial education. The closest thing was required Economics my senior year of high school (Regents for those who are from NY!) and my teacher did incorporate some real life situations but due to time constraints, he wasn't as thorough as he wanted to be.

Re: Peoples bad money habits annoy me

tacpoly — Wed, 17 Feb 2016 01:11:06 GMT

Isn't it just common sense, though?

1. Don't spend all your money. Save some (most?) for the future or the inevitable rainy day.

2. If you have to borrow money, borrow only what you can pay back.

Re: Peoples bad money habits annoy me

Callandra — Wed, 17 Feb 2016 01:14:01 GMT

@tacpoly wrote:

Isn't it just common sense, though?

1. Don't spend all your money. Save some (most?) for the future or the inevitable rainy day.

2. If you have to borrow money, borrow only what you can pay back.

Hmm...well, you would think a lot of things would be common sense...but it's never good to assume anything!! To me, it's common sense to pay a bill when I get it (or at least before the due date). However, I know many people who just pay bills whenever, regardless of the due date. To me, it's common sense to call a utility or whoever if I don't get a bill one month to see what's going on. To others, it's not.

I know for some people, life happens and some things are unavoidable. Others have spending problems. I only have sympathy for the former.