topic Re: How do you approach someone about fixing their credit? in General Credit Topics

How do you approach someone about fixing their credit?

DeeBee78 — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 00:20:25 GMT

So yesterday, I invited my friend/coworker out to lunch (Chipotle). After ordering, I realized I didn't have my wallet!

"Not to worry," I thought to myself. I have Apple Pay! Well, apparently Chipotle is stuck in the past, so they don't take Apple Pay.

My coworker said he would pay, and proceede to pull out an orange First Premier credit card. I didn't say anything to him, but I know how predatory and fee-intensive they can be. I know he has bad credit, because he's told me. I know what he can do to fix it, and want to help him. How do you approach this kind of situation for someone?

Side note: One of my friends posted on Facebook today a picture of his chopped up First Premier card. I was very happy to see it.

Re: How do you approach someone about fixing their credit?

elim — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 00:45:05 GMT

@DeeBee78 wrote:
So yesterday, I invited my friend/coworker out to lunch (Chipotle). After ordering, I realized I didn't have my wallet!

"Not to worry," I thought to myself. I have Apple Pay! Well, apparently Chipotle is stuck in the past, so they don't take Apple Pay.

My coworker said he would pay, and proceede to pull out an orange First Premier credit card. I didn't say anything to him, but I know how predatory and fee-intensive they can be. I know he has bad credit, because he's told me. I know what he can do to fix it, and want to help him. How do you approach this kind of situation for someone?

Side note: One of my friends posted on Facebook today a picture of his chopped up First Premier card. I was very happy to see it.

lol nice...

All you can do is share your experience and send them here.

Another side note: Chipotle has the mag swipe on the side of their monitors and even Samsung Pay is hit-or-miss. I am getting spoiled and am starting to not like digging my overstuffed wallet out of my pocket. My GF has a decent Iphone and it's pretty sweet so I may grab an Ipad Air to get to know an apple product better. I stepped down to an S7 when my Note7 (nice phone for what i do) was recalled. :[

Re: How do you approach someone about fixing their credit?

wa3more — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 02:33:20 GMT

most times you can't . Its embedded in their DNA.

Re: How do you approach someone about fixing their credit?

SouthJamaica — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 06:06:57 GMT

@DeeBee78 wrote:
So yesterday, I invited my friend/coworker out to lunch (Chipotle). After ordering, I realized I didn't have my wallet!

"Not to worry," I thought to myself. I have Apple Pay! Well, apparently Chipotle is stuck in the past, so they don't take Apple Pay.

My coworker said he would pay, and proceede to pull out an orange First Premier credit card. I didn't say anything to him, but I know how predatory and fee-intensive they can be. I know he has bad credit, because he's told me. I know what he can do to fix it, and want to help him. How do you approach this kind of situation for someone?

Side note: One of my friends posted on Facebook today a picture of his chopped up First Premier card. I was very happy to see it.

Uh ... you don't.

Re: How do you approach someone about fixing their credit?

Anonymous — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 14:15:13 GMT

@DeeBee78 wrote:
So yesterday, I invited my friend/coworker out to lunch (Chipotle). After ordering, I realized I didn't have my wallet!

"Not to worry," I thought to myself. I have Apple Pay! Well, apparently Chipotle is stuck in the past, so they don't take Apple Pay.

My coworker said he would pay, and proceede to pull out an orange First Premier credit card. I didn't say anything to him, but I know how predatory and fee-intensive they can be. I know he has bad credit, because he's told me. I know what he can do to fix it, and want to help him. How do you approach this kind of situation for someone?

Side note: One of my friends posted on Facebook today a picture of his chopped up First Premier card. I was very happy to see it.

I don't see this as either a huge conundrum or a massive no-fly zone. The key sentence as I see it is:

"I know he has bad credit, because he's told me."

He's already chosen to broach this subject and indeed to share his private details. So you just find a moment at some point and tell him:

"Hey, I know you mentioned to me the other day how your credit isn't the best. I had some similar trouble a while back. Good news is that I ended up finding out all the bottom line methods of fixing it and then getting way better. If you ever want me to sit down with you and share with you what I know, gimme a shout. I'd be really happy to do that."

Friendly, zero judgment, non-invasive, identifies yourself as a fellow screwup, lets him make the next move, etc.

Then if he makes the next move, great. If he doesn't, you don't have to feel like you didn't try to help.

Re: How do you approach someone about fixing their credit?

Anonymous — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 15:12:01 GMT

I think CGID's advice above is excellent and is a no-lose method to handle this.

There are plenty of people out there that simply aren't in the know about credit. Some don't care to be where others are very willing to learn and even want to learn, but don't know where to start.

The vast majority of my employees are in their late teens and early 20's. Sometimes I'll strike up conversations with them about credit when the opportunity presents itself, like when they take out their debit card to pay for a meal for example. I'll start the conversation off with "out of curiosity, do you ever use a credit card or just your debit card for things?" Usually I find that most of them don't even have a credit card, which usually leads me into a 20 second FYI about how important establishing credit can be when you're young. Some I can tell don't care or aren't interested, so I leave it at that. Others start to ask me questions and I can tell are genuinely interested, so I'll go into more detail if they desire.

I think the important thing is for people like us to open the door for those that are less in the know on the subject than we are. Some will choose to walk through and others will choose to walk away. I think we can feel good about opening that door though.

Re: How do you approach someone about fixing their credit?

Berk — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 21:25:38 GMT

@Anonymous wrote:
@DeeBee78 wrote:
So yesterday, I invited my friend/coworker out to lunch (Chipotle). After ordering, I realized I didn't have my wallet!

"Not to worry," I thought to myself. I have Apple Pay! Well, apparently Chipotle is stuck in the past, so they don't take Apple Pay.

My coworker said he would pay, and proceede to pull out an orange First Premier credit card. I didn't say anything to him, but I know how predatory and fee-intensive they can be. I know he has bad credit, because he's told me. I know what he can do to fix it, and want to help him. How do you approach this kind of situation for someone?

Side note: One of my friends posted on Facebook today a picture of his chopped up First Premier card. I was very happy to see it.
I don't see this as either a huge conundrum or a massive no-fly zone. The key sentence as I see it is:

"I know he has bad credit, because he's told me."

He's already chosen to broach this subject and indeed to share his private details. So you just find a moment at some point and tell him:

"Hey, I know you mentioned to me the other day how your credit isn't the best. I had some similar trouble a while back. Good news is that I ended up finding out all the bottom line methods of fixing it and then getting way better. If you ever want me to sit down with you and share with you what I know, gimme a shout. I'd be really happy to do that."

Friendly, zero judgment, non-invasive, identifies yourself as a fellow screwup, lets him make the next move, etc.

Then if he makes the next move, great. If he doesn't, you don't have to feel like you didn't try to help.

Exactly. After you talk to him about it, the rest is up to him. You did all you can. You have no obligation to do anything else. We all want to be credit Messiahs (that's one reason why we are here). Fortunately for us our credit does not depend on how well we help others with their's. Remember - unsoliceted free advice generally goes unheeded. However, since he has already broached the subject with you, he has given you an open door that you can feel free to walk through.

BTW, CreditGuyinDixie has some of the best advice on these forums.

Re: How do you approach someone about fixing their credit?

SouthJamaica — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 22:13:33 GMT

@Berk wrote:
@Anonymous wrote:
@DeeBee78 wrote:
So yesterday, I invited my friend/coworker out to lunch (Chipotle). After ordering, I realized I didn't have my wallet!

"Not to worry," I thought to myself. I have Apple Pay! Well, apparently Chipotle is stuck in the past, so they don't take Apple Pay.

My coworker said he would pay, and proceede to pull out an orange First Premier credit card. I didn't say anything to him, but I know how predatory and fee-intensive they can be. I know he has bad credit, because he's told me. I know what he can do to fix it, and want to help him. How do you approach this kind of situation for someone?

Side note: One of my friends posted on Facebook today a picture of his chopped up First Premier card. I was very happy to see it.
I don't see this as either a huge conundrum or a massive no-fly zone. The key sentence as I see it is:

"I know he has bad credit, because he's told me."

He's already chosen to broach this subject and indeed to share his private details. So you just find a moment at some point and tell him:

"Hey, I know you mentioned to me the other day how your credit isn't the best. I had some similar trouble a while back. Good news is that I ended up finding out all the bottom line methods of fixing it and then getting way better. If you ever want me to sit down with you and share with you what I know, gimme a shout. I'd be really happy to do that."

Friendly, zero judgment, non-invasive, identifies yourself as a fellow screwup, lets him make the next move, etc.

Then if he makes the next move, great. If he doesn't, you don't have to feel like you didn't try to help.
Exactly. After you talk to him about it, the rest is up to him. You did all you can. You have no obligation to do anything else. We all want to be credit Messiahs (that's one reason why we are here). Fortunately for us our credit does not depend on how well we help others with their's. Remember - unsoliceted free advice generally goes unheeded. However, since he has already broached the subject with you, he has given you an open door that you can feel free to walk through.

BTW, CreditGuyinDixie has some of the best advice on these forums.

I think it's a big mistake to get into a coworker's face about his personal finances.

When someone asks for advice on this board, the first thing we do is pepper him or her with questions, because we know that we can't give credit score improvement advice without knowing the person's situation. In this anonymous forum, that's fine. In the real world, it's something else again.

His personal finances are none of your business.

You should butt out.

Re: How do you approach someone about fixing their credit?

Anonymous — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 22:17:48 GMT

"get into a co-workers face" seems a bit harsh here. All anyone is suggesting here is opening the door, not shoving the guy through it.

Re: How do you approach someone about fixing their credit?

SouthJamaica — Sat, 04 Feb 2017 22:35:28 GMT

@Anonymous wrote:
"get into a co-workers face" seems a bit harsh here. All anyone is suggesting here is opening the door, not shoving the guy through it.

By broaching the subject with someone you could be insulting them, hurting their feelings, etc

Even if they bite, and get into a whole credit improvement thing with you, they might later on resent it.

Also having credit problems or other financial trouble is often depressing and humiliating, people commit suicide over it. Just because someone has once confided that he has bad credit doesn't mean he wants to keep talking about it.

It's much more important for OP to preserve his relationship with a coworker he lunches with.

There's also the very common result of such credit conversations between people like us and other folks... boring someone to tears. Not everyone is interested in this stuff, as we are.

Re: How do you approach someone about fixing their credit?

Anonymous — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 01:41:25 GMT

@SouthJamaica wrote:
@Anonymous wrote:
"get into a co-workers face" seems a bit harsh here. All anyone is suggesting here is opening the door, not shoving the guy through it.
By broaching the subject with someone you could be insulting them, hurting their feelings, etc

Even if they bite, and get into a whole credit improvement thing with you, they might later on resent it.

Also having credit problems or other financial trouble is often depressing and humiliating, people commit suicide over it. Just because someone has once confided that he has bad credit doesn't mean he wants to keep talking about it.

It's much more important for OP to preserve his relationship with a coworker he lunches with.

There's also the very common result of such credit conversations between people like us and other folks... boring someone to tears. Not everyone is interested in this stuff, as we are.

Or, the complete converse of what you just outlined could happen. The person completely cleans up their act along with their credit profile and they are in turn extremely grateful for their now fantastic scores and of course your help that got them there.

I think the proposed script that CGID mentioned above is perfectly acceptable and there's nothing "wrong" with taking that approach with the situation.

Re: How do you approach someone about fixing their credit?

Anonymous — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 10:06:17 GMT

Very interesting to read the various responses on this thread. I actually have two completely different experiences completely opposite of each other. One time i spoke to credit about a coworker when it came up and he just kind of listened to some suggestions and then just had no interest in continuing the conversation on it.

Now another time i spoke to a worker who was more open about it. He actually engaged with the conversation took some suggestions and came back in a couple of weeks thanking me so much that he saw significant change in his scores etc. We talk about various credit stuff very often now its actually pretty cool to be able to speak to someone about all of it in person thats genuinely wants to talk about the subject.

I understand the concern with it being coworkers and finances it gets may get a little touchy. I feel like im the type of person that will give a person good advice even if they dont want to hear it. They can get upset for the moment if they want but 9 times out of 10 later down the line they will come back and thank me for it.

I feel like depending on how close you are to the coworker you can casually up credit and see if hes even interested in hearing you out and go from there.

Re: How do you approach someone about fixing their credit?

Anonymous — Mon, 06 Feb 2017 00:45:56 GMT

@DeeBee78 wrote:
So yesterday, I invited my friend/coworker out to lunch (Chipotle). After ordering, I realized I didn't have my wallet!

"Not to worry," I thought to myself. I have Apple Pay! Well, apparently Chipotle is stuck in the past, so they don't take Apple Pay.

My coworker said he would pay, and proceede to pull out an orange First Premier credit card. I didn't say anything to him, but I know how predatory and fee-intensive they can be. I know he has bad credit, because he's told me. I know what he can do to fix it, and want to help him. How do you approach this kind of situation for someone?

Side note: One of my friends posted on Facebook today a picture of his chopped up First Premier card. I was very happy to see it.

I believe credit is a personal endeavor. I remember watching others with good credit (enjoying financial freedom) and I didn't give a crap. Once someone decides it's time then they will do something about it. Once they decide, they will be the one to initiate a conversation or do some research on how to fix it.

Re: How do you approach someone about fixing their credit?

Subexistence — Tue, 27 Jun 2017 00:09:39 GMT

@wa3more wrote:
most times you can't . Its embedded in their DNA.

http://ficoforums.myfico.com/t5/General-Credit-Topics/Genetics-and-your-financial-responsibility/td-p/4820322

Re: How do you approach someone about fixing their credit?

Anonymous — Tue, 27 Jun 2017 00:41:15 GMT

I tell people about these forums, a wealth of info here!

Re: How do you approach someone about fixing their credit?

joltdude — Tue, 27 Jun 2017 01:48:05 GMT

Sorry SJ.. not gonna quite agree with you on this one... If you offer the olive branch in a private, nonjudgemental setting... esp since they seem to have acknowledged it to the OP before.... they can either take it or leave it .. Just butting out is denying them an oppurtunity you can offer.. if your careful and respect their privacy and dont have an audience... they might actually take you up on it... Its similar to confronting folks with other addictions or vices...

Voice of experience.. Iv actually helped a few family members..some were just.. not knowledgable about building credit and others were below FP territory and kept trying and getting rejected... Actually helped to do some rebuilding and baddie fixing with that one...

If you decide to do it, you privately make the offer, and leave it at that... if they dont take it.. just dont bring it up again... let them make the move... but just opening the door should not be a problem as long as its not in front of an audience..

Theres also the "been there done that" and ability to relate..... Admitting you have or had a problem, could lead to others asking about it ... thats how recovery for a lot of vices works..

-J

Re: How do you approach someone about fixing their credit?

Anonymous — Tue, 27 Jun 2017 02:23:20 GMT

Good to see this old thread revived again, as I enjoyed the discussion the first time around.

I still maintain that opening the door for discussion is perfectly acceptable. Think back to the time when YOU personally were in your worst place credit wise. Chances are you're level of knowledge wasn't anywhere near the level it is at now. No doubt you sought out sources to improve your position. Many found this forum that way and have received the same advice that someone could have given verbally over a message forum. If someone recognizes that their credit isn't very good and that being in that position isn't favorable, most are going to want to improve upon that rather than stay in an unfavorable place.

A little over a year ago when I started getting into these forums big to improve my credit, a friend of mine was going through a similar credit slump. We were gym buddies so we were constantly shooting the crap about random stuff while working out and I told him how I was working hard to improve my credit. He was immediately interested, as he was in a similar place. Unlike me though, he'd never visit a credit forum or spend more than 5 minutes in front of his computer. He was very open to hearing about the things I learned and welcomed advice constantly.

It's all about reading the person you are considering offering help to. If they clearly want it and invite it, why not pass on your knowledge? If they aren't comfortable with it and seem closed off to the idea, move on with life. I don't really see where the controversy is in that.

Re: How do you approach someone about fixing their credit?

SouthJamaica — Tue, 27 Jun 2017 16:33:30 GMT

@joltdude wrote:
Sorry SJ.. not gonna quite agree with you on this one... If you offer the olive branch in a private, nonjudgemental setting... esp since they seem to have acknowledged it to the OP before.... they can either take it or leave it .. Just butting out is denying them an oppurtunity you can offer.. if your careful and respect their privacy and dont have an audience... they might actually take you up on it... Its similar to confronting folks with other addictions or vices...

Voice of experience.. Iv actually helped a few family members..some were just.. not knowledgable about building credit and others were below FP territory and kept trying and getting rejected... Actually helped to do some rebuilding and baddie fixing with that one...

If you decide to do it, you privately make the offer, and leave it at that... if they dont take it.. just dont bring it up again... let them make the move... but just opening the door should not be a problem as long as its not in front of an audience..

Theres also the "been there done that" and ability to relate..... Admitting you have or had a problem, could lead to others asking about it ... thats how recovery for a lot of vices works..

-J

It's pretty condescending to suggest that credit problems are a "vice" which is tantamount to "addiction"

Some credit problems are the result of such 'vices' as loss of a job, medical problems for onesself or a loved one, disability, natural disasters, car accidents, etc.

Your giving your unsolicited advice to your family members is your business.

But coworkers are not your relatives.

Re: How do you approach someone about fixing their credit?

Subexistence — Tue, 27 Jun 2017 02:39:10 GMT

For me, I know how to advise my friends aged 18-19 about starting credit, I have no experience with credit rebuild.

Usually people get upset about bad credit stuff then try to rebuild by joining this forum.

Does this count as rebuild?

http://ficoforums.myfico.com/t5/General-Credit-Topics/Secumd-scammed-me-into-making-new-accounts-which-hurt-my-credit/td-p/4799423

Most people seem not interested at least at my age. Although my best friend enjoys churning, arbitrage, etc because it is fun. He also enjoys non-harmful hacking so it seems like a mischievious personality type thing. Finance seems like an adult thing to most people my age. Oh yeah I give him my knowledge learned here.

I don't know if rebuilders feel the same way as 18-19 year olds, but chances of getting one interested is slim to none unless he/she really likes gaming algorithms, cutting corners, churning, manipulating, etc.

Re: How do you approach someone about fixing their credit?

joltdude — Tue, 27 Jun 2017 17:00:19 GMT

@SouthJamaica wrote:
@joltdude wrote:
Sorry SJ.. not gonna quite agree with you on this one... If you offer the olive branch in a private, nonjudgemental setting... esp since they seem to have acknowledged it to the OP before.... they can either take it or leave it .. Just butting out is denying them an oppurtunity you can offer.. if your careful and respect their privacy and dont have an audience... they might actually take you up on it... Its similar to confronting folks with other addictions or vices...

Voice of experience.. Iv actually helped a few family members..some were just.. not knowledgable about building credit and others were below FP territory and kept trying and getting rejected... Actually helped to do some rebuilding and baddie fixing with that one...

If you decide to do it, you privately make the offer, and leave it at that... if they dont take it.. just dont bring it up again... let them make the move... but just opening the door should not be a problem as long as its not in front of an audience..

Theres also the "been there done that" and ability to relate..... Admitting you have or had a problem, could lead to others asking about it ... thats how recovery for a lot of vices works..

-J

It's pretty condescending to suggest that credit problems are a "vice" which is tantamount to "addiction"

Some credit problems are the result of such 'vices' as loss of a job, medical problems for onesself or a loved one, disability, natural disasters, car accidents, etc.

Your giving your unsolicited advice to your family members is your business.

But coworkers are not your relatives.

Again. misinterpreting me ... I was trying to show the similarity in handling credit problems as to handling addiction and how to approach it..

Did not once say that credit problems are a vice....or imply that credit problems are an addiction... Sometimes stuff happens that puts you in a bad situation.. medical bills, etc... geesh

Perhaps i should of been more blunt....

You have already made your mind up on your opinion, now let me have mine without attempting to make it sound like im being condescending...

Youll do what youll do.. Ill do what ill do......

If someone brings it up.. Yeah I have a problem/ some problems... HELL YES its solicited... they are ASKING FOR HELP.. now whether they want to accept it is another issue entirely.. instead of just ignoring it since its not your problem...

This is an example of what happens when its "not my problem/none of my buisness"

https://nypost.com/2010/04/24/stabbed-hero-dies-as-more-than-20-people-stroll-past-him/

Thanks for your insight...

-J