topic Re: Desperate & need help FAST/ what should I do? in Rebuilding Your Credit

Desperate & need help FAST/ what should I do?

RopeIsGettingShorter — Wed, 08 Mar 2023 22:17:56 GMT

Hello, I’m new here but have been reading through posts for a couple weeks now. I’ve tried to catch up with all the lingo and abbreviations but its a bit overwhelming so I am just writing this as I best I can so please forgive me. Also, there’s A LOT to get out so please forgive me for the length.

Background: to sum it up, life started falling apart 2011-2014 and moved to a new state at end of ‘14. Things were ok the first couple years until ‘17 when everything started going wrong. Lost job and but then new prospects would appear. In desperation, I took out a couple bad loans to keep afloat until work started up only for work to fall through. So, then I fell behind on credit card AND loan payments. Was underwater bad. Would bounce back a little, then tumble, then bounce back, and then tumble again. Happened throughout ‘17-‘19. Then my Dad started getting pretty ill from his diabetes in mid-‘19 so traveling back and forth between states took a toll all around. He eventually died Jan 2020 and then covid hit shortly after so kids were home from school for a while. Despite covid, that’s when I was able to finally start getting things back on track. End of summer ‘21 the condo we were renting for 5 years went up for sale. Owners gave us 30 days to get out. Rental prices and availability have gotten so bad in our area since covid so we tried to get a mortgage to buy the condo. Because of my credit, Rocket had the missus go for the loan on her own and she was approved for an FHA loan only for that to fall apart because apparently NO ONE knew that the community the condo was in didn’t allow FHA loans because they hadn’t renewed the paperwork for it in years. By then, we had no time left and had to move in for a couple months with my parents. Found a rental in November’21 the next town over (and hundreds more than the condo was) and was able to grandfather the kids into the same school zone they were already in. We planned to only spend a year at this rental as we worked on improving finances and credit. I was able to wipe out *some* old debt in that time. We unfortunately had to sign another year lease last November…at an increased price under new owners (the house was sold in April ‘22 but we weren’t told until a month or 2 later). Fast forward to end of this past January and she kicks me out of the house and tells me its over, it’s not working out anymore. That after 8 years, we haven’t moved forward. And she’s right. It is my fault and I accept responsibility for that. My credit has been crap, my work record has been crap because I don’t have a license (whole other story from before I even moved) and I was stubborn in trying to fix things MY way. My way never worked, just wish I saw it before now. She told me now was the time to figure out what I want and what I’m willing to do to get there. And what I want is to not lose them so I’m willing to do everything possible to fix what I broke and hopefully turn things around. She packed all my stuff up and its sitting in the garage. She’ll barely speak to me and that’s only through text. I just happened to see her for 3 mins the other day as I was sorting through stuff in the garage and she stopped by to grab gym clothes for one of the kids. These past 38 days have been the worst of my life. Can’t eat (down 17 lbs), can’t sleep (maybe 3 hours a night). It’s probably too late to save our relationship but I still need to bust my butt and try. I don’t want to give up on 8 years. Which is why I’m here.

Credit history: its bad. 249 late and CO marks across all accounts. 2 accounts I didn’t even realize were still open.

-CapOne: almost 19 years old, currently restricted. 16 late payments as reported on Experian: 30 (x1), 60 (x3), 90 (x1), 120 (x3) lates in 2018. 30 (x1), 60 (x3), 90 (x2) lates in 2019. A 30 and 60 at the start of 2020. 36 on time payments since March 2020. 64% usage.

-BofA: closed by BofA but paid off in 2020. 21 late payments: 30 (x3) and one 60 late in 2017. 30 (x2), 60 (x2), 90 (x2), and 120 (x1) in 2018. 30 (x2) and one 60 late in 2019. 60 (x5), 90 (x1) and 120 (x1) in 2020.

-Chase: closed by Chase but paid off in 2022. “46 potentially neg months”: one 30 day late in 2017. One 30 day and 60 (x3) late in 2018. 30 (x1), 60 (x1), 90 (x1), 120 (x1) and CO (x1) in 2019. COs every month of 2020, 2021, and 2022.

-Barclays: closed and charged off in 2018. 65 “potentially neg. months”. I thought this was all settled years ago but its still going to this day. One 30 day late in 2016 and another in 2017. 60 (x1), 90 (x1), and 120 (x2) in 2018. CO every month since May 2018 until now. Found out they tried to serve me and sue me in a state I never lived in.

-Credit Central: closed and charged off in 2018. Also though this one was settled and paid years ago. A 30 and 60 late in 2017. One 90 days late in 2018. CO every month since Feb 2018 until now. I called them asking what the heck and they said they sent paperwork in 2020.

-Cash Central: closed, charged off and sold to a CA. “5 potentially neg months”: one 30 days late and one CO in 2017. CO (x3) in 2018. Paid off through the CA in 2020. The CA removed themselves after it was paid. The OC said the marks would be removed once the CA was paid in full but the marks are still there. Have spent about 6 hours the past couple days with the OC and have gotten a huge run around. They kept saying I needed to call the credit bureaus to have them removed. Bureaus said the OC needed to make the removal request. Around it went. Experian disputes have failed so far.

-So. Finance: closed and charged off in 2018. Sold to a CA. “42 potentially neg months”: 30 (x1), 60 (x1), and 90 (x1) days late in 2017. 120 (x2) days late followed by 3 COs in 2018. After those COs theres no data available until March 2020 when the COs appear again and those COs go for every month until January 2023. I paid the CA for a long time, starting in March 2020 and finished in Feb 2023. Currently waiting for it to be updated as paid. Not sure if all those COs will be updated and/or removed?

There was also a collections account that popped up from an unpaid AT&T account that my dad opened in my name years earlier that I didn’t know about. I got that removed from all 3 bureaus and paid AT&T because I just don’t have the energy to file a police report and open up fraud cases and everything.

I stumbled on this forum when I found out about goodwill letters a few weeks ago. I read up a little bit on it and wrote my own. I realized it was probably longer than it should have been. I sent a bunch out anyway (before I also discovered the saturation method). I emailed the BofA letter to 2 execs on Feb 25th. I physically mailed out 3 to BofA addresses and 3 to CapOne addresses on Feb 27th (addresses via credit bureaus). I got a call and message from BofA on March 1st. I called the number back repeatedly with no answer and kept leaving messages. Finally spoke to the lady on March 6th and she shot the letter down in flames. However, I had emailed it off to another BofA exec on March 3rd. I also emailed 3 CapOne execs on March 3rd.

I don’t have my FICO for each bureau. Experian is at 574. Equifax says 597 on their site but 562 on CK and TransUnion is 579 on CK. I know CK isn’t accurate and they use Vantage 3.0 but I still need to get the FICOs for each. I don't know what to do or what I can do. I feel like I'm in a race against time to fix and improve things. The lease is up in November but the original plan last year was to try again for a home loan around start of June and break the lease at the beginning of August before the kids school starts again. The zoning here is terrible so that plays a major factor in things. USDA loan requires 640 score and I'm far from it. The FHA is too much of a pain figuring out which neighborhoods allow it and where the locations falls in with school zoning. I'm losing my mind.

Again, I apologize for the length of this post. I don't know what to do.

Re: Desperate & need help FAST/ what should I do?

Epiki71 — Thu, 09 Mar 2023 00:48:53 GMT

@RopeIsGettingShorter wrote:
Hello, I’m new here but have been reading through posts for a couple weeks now. I’ve tried to catch up with all the lingo and abbreviations but its a bit overwhelming so I am just writing this as I best I can so please forgive me. Also, there’s A LOT to get out so please forgive me for the length.

Background: to sum it up, life started falling apart 2011-2014 and moved to a new state at end of ‘14. Things were ok the first couple years until ‘17 when everything started going wrong. Lost job and but then new prospects would appear. In desperation, I took out a couple bad loans to keep afloat until work started up only for work to fall through. So, then I fell behind on credit card AND loan payments. Was underwater bad. Would bounce back a little, then tumble, then bounce back, and then tumble again. Happened throughout ‘17-‘19. Then my Dad started getting pretty ill from his diabetes in mid-‘19 so traveling back and forth between states took a toll all around. He eventually died Jan 2020 and then covid hit shortly after so kids were home from school for a while. Despite covid, that’s when I was able to finally start getting things back on track. End of summer ‘21 the condo we were renting for 5 years went up for sale. Owners gave us 30 days to get out. Rental prices and availability have gotten so bad in our area since covid so we tried to get a mortgage to buy the condo. Because of my credit, Rocket had the missus go for the loan on her own and she was approved for an FHA loan only for that to fall apart because apparently NO ONE knew that the community the condo was in didn’t allow FHA loans because they hadn’t renewed the paperwork for it in years. By then, we had no time left and had to move in for a couple months with my parents. Found a rental in November’21 the next town over (and hundreds more than the condo was) and was able to grandfather the kids into the same school zone they were already in. We planned to only spend a year at this rental as we worked on improving finances and credit. I was able to wipe out *some* old debt in that time. We unfortunately had to sign another year lease last November…at an increased price under new owners (the house was sold in April ‘22 but we weren’t told until a month or 2 later). Fast forward to end of this past January and she kicks me out of the house and tells me its over, it’s not working out anymore. That after 8 years, we haven’t moved forward. And she’s right. It is my fault and I accept responsibility for that. My credit has been crap, my work record has been crap because I don’t have a license (whole other story from before I even moved) and I was stubborn in trying to fix things MY way. My way never worked, just wish I saw it before now. She told me now was the time to figure out what I want and what I’m willing to do to get there. And what I want is to not lose them so I’m willing to do everything possible to fix what I broke and hopefully turn things around. She packed all my stuff up and its sitting in the garage. She’ll barely speak to me and that’s only through text. I just happened to see her for 3 mins the other day as I was sorting through stuff in the garage and she stopped by to grab gym clothes for one of the kids. These past 38 days have been the worst of my life. Can’t eat (down 17 lbs), can’t sleep (maybe 3 hours a night). It’s probably too late to save our relationship but I still need to bust my butt and try. I don’t want to give up on 8 years. Which is why I’m here.

Credit history: its bad. 249 late and CO marks across all accounts. 2 accounts I didn’t even realize were still open.

-CapOne: almost 19 years old, currently restricted. 16 late payments as reported on Experian: 30 (x1), 60 (x3), 90 (x1), 120 (x3) lates in 2018. 30 (x1), 60 (x3), 90 (x2) lates in 2019. A 30 and 60 at the start of 2020. 36 on time payments since March 2020. 64% usage.

-BofA: closed by BofA but paid off in 2020. 21 late payments: 30 (x3) and one 60 late in 2017. 30 (x2), 60 (x2), 90 (x2), and 120 (x1) in 2018. 30 (x2) and one 60 late in 2019. 60 (x5), 90 (x1) and 120 (x1) in 2020.

-Chase: closed by Chase but paid off in 2022. “46 potentially neg months”: one 30 day late in 2017. One 30 day and 60 (x3) late in 2018. 30 (x1), 60 (x1), 90 (x1), 120 (x1) and CO (x1) in 2019. COs every month of 2020, 2021, and 2022.

-Barclays: closed and charged off in 2018. 65 “potentially neg. months”. I thought this was all settled years ago but its still going to this day. One 30 day late in 2016 and another in 2017. 60 (x1), 90 (x1), and 120 (x2) in 2018. CO every month since May 2018 until now. Found out they tried to serve me and sue me in a state I never lived in.

-Credit Central: closed and charged off in 2018. Also though this one was settled and paid years ago. A 30 and 60 late in 2017. One 90 days late in 2018. CO every month since Feb 2018 until now. I called them asking what the heck and they said they sent paperwork in 2020.

-Cash Central: closed, charged off and sold to a CA. “5 potentially neg months”: one 30 days late and one CO in 2017. CO (x3) in 2018. Paid off through the CA in 2020. The CA removed themselves after it was paid. The OC said the marks would be removed once the CA was paid in full but the marks are still there. Have spent about 6 hours the past couple days with the OC and have gotten a huge run around. They kept saying I needed to call the credit bureaus to have them removed. Bureaus said the OC needed to make the removal request. Around it went. Experian disputes have failed so far.

-So. Finance: closed and charged off in 2018. Sold to a CA. “42 potentially neg months”: 30 (x1), 60 (x1), and 90 (x1) days late in 2017. 120 (x2) days late followed by 3 COs in 2018. After those COs theres no data available until March 2020 when the COs appear again and those COs go for every month until January 2023. I paid the CA for a long time, starting in March 2020 and finished in Feb 2023. Currently waiting for it to be updated as paid. Not sure if all those COs will be updated and/or removed?

There was also a collections account that popped up from an unpaid AT&T account that my dad opened in my name years earlier that I didn’t know about. I got that removed from all 3 bureaus and paid AT&T because I just don’t have the energy to file a police report and open up fraud cases and everything.

I stumbled on this forum when I found out about goodwill letters a few weeks ago. I read up a little bit on it and wrote my own. I realized it was probably longer than it should have been. I sent a bunch out anyway (before I also discovered the saturation method). I emailed the BofA letter to 2 execs on Feb 25th. I physically mailed out 3 to BofA addresses and 3 to CapOne addresses on Feb 27th (addresses via credit bureaus). I got a call and message from BofA on March 1st. I called the number back repeatedly with no answer and kept leaving messages. Finally spoke to the lady on March 6th and she shot the letter down in flames. However, I had emailed it off to another BofA exec on March 3rd. I also emailed 3 CapOne execs on March 3rd.

I don’t have my FICO for each bureau. Experian is at 574. Equifax says 597 on their site but 562 on CK and TransUnion is 579 on CK. I know CK isn’t accurate and they use Vantage 3.0 but I still need to get the FICOs for each. I don't know what to do or what I can do. I feel like I'm in a race against time to fix and improve things. The lease is up in November but the original plan last year was to try again for a home loan around start of June and break the lease at the beginning of August before the kids school starts again. The zoning here is terrible so that plays a major factor in things. USDA loan requires 640 score and I'm far from it. The FHA is too much of a pain figuring out which neighborhoods allow it and where the locations falls in with school zoning. I'm losing my mind.

Again, I apologize for the length of this post. I don't know what to do.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like you're going through a tough time.

Take care of your basic needs: Make sure you're eating and sleeping regularly. Consider talking to a therapist or counselor about your feelings of stress and anxiety.
Get a copy of your credit report and review it carefully ( I am sure you have this ). Contact any creditors with whom you have outstanding debt and try to work out a payment plan or settlement. Make sure you pay all bills on time going forward.
Create a budget: Figure out how much money you have coming in and going out each month. Identify areas where you can cut back on expenses.
Look for a job: Consider getting a driver's license, if possible, to increase your job prospects. Look for work in your area or consider moving to a location where there are more job opportunities.
Communicate with your partner: Try to talk to your partner about your feelings and goals. Show her that you're serious about making changes and improving your financial situation.
Consider seeking professional help: If you're feeling overwhelmed, consider reaching out to a financial planner or credit counselor for help. As you know this forum will help you, but in need seek professional help.

Remember, it's never too late to start making positive changes in your life. With hard work and dedication, you can turn your situation around.

Re: Desperate & need help FAST/ what should I do?

JoeRockhead — Thu, 09 Mar 2023 02:09:42 GMT

No doubt you have a lot on your plate, but you have a genuine desire to make things better for you and your family. Considering the vast amount of issues you're clawing at trying to fix, which is only piling on to the amount of stress in your life, I would strongly recommend you speak with a bankruptcy attorney (if you haven't already). It would be a clean slate for you and your family. Allowing you to focus on what's important, and what's not. Most importantly your future, instead of what's chasing you, and holding you back.

Re: Desperate & need help FAST/ what should I do?

RopeIsGettingShorter — Thu, 09 Mar 2023 02:31:18 GMT

Thank you for your reply, Joe. I thought bankruptcy was for people deep in debt..? I only have a couple grand in debt which I can pay off. The problem I am facing is all of the derogatory marks all over my reports, some of which now won't disappear until near 2030.

Re: Desperate & need help FAST/ what should I do?

Creditwiser — Thu, 09 Mar 2023 03:00:13 GMT

A lot to deal with for sure. If you're determined you can get thru it and fix it. but no matter if you file BK or pay off the remaining debt and begin the long arduous task of cleaning up your credit reports, it will all take time.

As Joe mentioned above , BK would clean the slate if you qualified and you can fresh start from there. I filed in 2014 and thought it was the end for me. Total shame and meltdown. Finding and participtaing in the forum was the best thing that could happen. I learned so much and encountered so many great people that provided good advice allowing me to have hope and make sense of it all. You have to figure out what you're best option is and develope a plan. Read the posts on here and learn from them. You can fix this. If you don't file, you'll spend months or even a year or two disputing with the CRA's. Again though, you can fix this with time , patience, knowledge and perserverence.

Re: Desperate & need help FAST/ what should I do?

Dayvan_Cowbody — Thu, 09 Mar 2023 04:12:52 GMT

From what I'm reading it doesn't seem like you're as bad off as you think.

It reads like your Date of First Delinquency for most of those baddies are early 2017 or older. From the Internet® "The DOFD is the date a consumer first becomes 30 days late, never brings the account current, and then a charge off ensues".

I have a CO right now where I missed my first payment in either April or July of 2017 and then never managed to catch up. The account was eventually closed in late 2018, but my ticking clock for removal of that CO is that 2017 date so my deletion date for that account is somewhere around April-July of 2024 (American Express told me it's 6 years and 9 months from the DOFD). It seems like you're in a similar boat for most of your baddies. Some of them might even be eligible for an early exclusion (EE). TransUnion you can request your EE up to 6 months before the estimated deletion date and if i recall correctly Experian is 3 months before; I've read multiple accounts from here where Equifax is often not worth the effort as they seldom remove things early.)

If I was you my next step in trying to get things organized is to try and figure out the DOFD for each of your baddies so you can get a better idea of how long they will stay on your report. Once you have that date you can start the process of getting them removed at the appropriate times.

Good luck with both your credit and your family. I'm rooting for you!

Re: Desperate & need help FAST/ what should I do?

RopeIsGettingShorter — Thu, 09 Mar 2023 04:16:32 GMT

Epiki, I appreciate your reply and the time you took to write it. I feel like all the positive things over the past couple years have been all for nothing at this point. I have a job but I've been trying to pick up a second one but have been limited by the lack of license and the fact that there isn't really any public transportation where I live. The license has been an ongoing thing for years and has seriously ruined a lot of things. Unfortunately, I'm at the mercy of a certain state of York. I've got my Experian report, just waiting on the other 2 to show up. And like I said originally, there are 2 accounts I thought were already settled so I just need to take care of them asap. Aside from them, it's just regular credit card stuff which isn't really the problem since they always get paid on time. I started getting back on track in early 2020 and haven't missed any payments for anything since then. All this stuff was basically 2017-2019. I was thinking about a credit counselor but it was just a passing thought the other day. And as far as communicating with the missus...man, I've been trying. She refuses to respond to me most of the time. Refuses to see me to talk. I only saw her briefly for a couple mins last week, which was the first time since Jan 30th, and she tried her best to avoid me, believe that. She had parked on the other side of the house instead of the driveway since I was in the garage sorting throught my stuff she packed up and happened to go inside for some water right as she was trying to come out. Communication has been a bit of an issue over the years. I knew she was stressed out about things but I didn't know how bad she really felt until after the fact. And I had been working on budgeting and cutting back on stuff significantly for the past year and a half but it would all get negated when she's do something like add $80 of stuff on a grocery trip or drop $50 on vbucks so the kids could get some skins on Fortnite. Ya know, I get stuff like that but there needed to be a bit more conversation about things.

Re: Desperate & need help FAST/ what should I do?

RopeIsGettingShorter — Thu, 09 Mar 2023 04:22:01 GMT

Thank you for taking the time to respond to my problem(s), creditwiser. I've been reading through posts on here for a couple weeks trying to seek possible options and get a grasp of everything credit related. It's quite overwhelming, especially with each bureau being different and things showing differently on each one. It's easy to get confused. I was trying to figure it all out until when I figured I'll just sign up and write my story down to see what people thought.

Re: Desperate & need help FAST/ what should I do?

RopeIsGettingShorter — Thu, 09 Mar 2023 04:25:55 GMT

I've been trying to get a handle on all the terminology and possible options for each one. It's so much and confusing! Lol. I just came across what EE meant like an hour before I wrote my original post. So I'll have to try and figure those dates out tomorrow when I have a clearer head. I appreciate your response, Dayvan. And thanks for rooting for me. Glad someone's in my corner

Re: Desperate & need help FAST/ what should I do?

Epiki71 — Thu, 09 Mar 2023 05:05:59 GMT

@RopeIsGettingShorter wrote:
Epiki, I appreciate your reply and the time you took to write it. I feel like all the positive things over the past couple years have been all for nothing at this point. I have a job but I've been trying to pick up a second one but have been limited by the lack of license and the fact that there isn't really any public transportation where I live. The license has been an ongoing thing for years and has seriously ruined a lot of things. Unfortunately, I'm at the mercy of a certain state of York. I've got my Experian report, just waiting on the other 2 to show up. And like I said originally, there are 2 accounts I thought were already settled so I just need to take care of them asap. Aside from them, it's just regular credit card stuff which isn't really the problem since they always get paid on time. I started getting back on track in early 2020 and haven't missed any payments for anything since then. All this stuff was basically 2017-2019. I was thinking about a credit counselor but it was just a passing thought the other day. And as far as communicating with the missus...man, I've been trying. She refuses to respond to me most of the time. Refuses to see me to talk. I only saw her briefly for a couple mins last week, which was the first time since Jan 30th, and she tried her best to avoid me, believe that. She had parked on the other side of the house instead of the driveway since I was in the garage sorting throught my stuff she packed up and happened to go inside for some water right as she was trying to come out. Communication has been a bit of an issue over the years. I knew she was stressed out about things but I didn't know how bad she really felt until after the fact. And I had been working on budgeting and cutting back on stuff significantly for the past year and a half but it would all get negated when she's do something like add $80 of stuff on a grocery trip or drop $50 on vbucks so the kids could get some skins on Fortnite. Ya know, I get stuff like that but there needed to be a bit more conversation about things.

OP, I understand that your biggest concern right now is your relationship with your partner. It might be helpful to consider couples counseling as a possible solution. Although communication has been challenging, perhaps you could try asking your partner how you can make the relationship work again. While resolving any financial issues is important, your main priority should be rebuilding a healthy and positive relationship with your partner.

I wish you the best of luck on your journey and hope that you are able to turn things around. I look forward to reading a positive update from you in the coming months.

Re: Desperate & need help FAST/ what should I do?

7774x — Thu, 09 Mar 2023 06:16:56 GMT

@RopeIsGettingShorter wrote:
I've been trying to get a handle on all the terminology and possible options for each one. It's so much and confusing! Lol. I just came across what EE meant like an hour before I wrote my original post. So I'll have to try and figure those dates out tomorrow when I have a clearer head. I appreciate your response, Dayvan. And thanks for rooting for me. Glad someone's in my corner

Other people here were in similar situations ...and recovered..5 years ago I had a 489 Fico score .I Paid, / Settled accounts ..Aged accounts past 7 years fell off credit report .. score now 771... COs will sit on credit reports until they aged off..or get EEs or are deleted from CAs For a Paid for delete ....COs are like cement filled tires around your neck , you will get credit denials .. citing COs right up to when they fall off the CR..they will be on CRs until 7 yrs ..less with EEs..Other people may be give up on you ,, Don't give up on yourself

Re: Desperate & need help FAST/ what should I do?

donkort — Thu, 09 Mar 2023 08:26:55 GMT

What's keeping you from getting a driver's license?

I didn't get mine until I was 37. It took a long time. But it can be done.

Not meant as a criticism at all. But it would definitely increase your job prospects. Even if you don't get a car and pay insurance, you could conceivably be part of a carpool.

At least the stuff from 2017 will fall off next year; stuff from 2018 in 2025, etc. You can start applying for Early Exclusions soon. Pile on the Good Will Letters and Pay for Deletes.

All the other advice is great.

Re: Desperate & need help FAST/ what should I do?

Lurker22 — Thu, 09 Mar 2023 12:10:01 GMT

@Epiki71 wrote:
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like you're going through a tough time.

Take care of your basic needs: Make sure you're eating and sleeping regularly. Consider talking to a therapist or counselor about your feelings of stress and anxiety.
Get a copy of your credit report and review it carefully ( I am sure you have this ). Contact any creditors with whom you have outstanding debt and try to work out a payment plan or settlement. Make sure you pay all bills on time going forward.
Create a budget: Figure out how much money you have coming in and going out each month. Identify areas where you can cut back on expenses.
Look for a job: Consider getting a driver's license, if possible, to increase your job prospects. Look for work in your area or consider moving to a location where there are more job opportunities.
Communicate with your partner: Try to talk to your partner about your feelings and goals. Show her that you're serious about making changes and improving your financial situation.
Consider seeking professional help: If you're feeling overwhelmed, consider reaching out to a financial planner or credit counselor for help. As you know this forum will help you, but in need seek professional help.
Remember, it's never too late to start making positive changes in your life. With hard work and dedication, you can turn your situation around.

Completely agree with all of the above, couldn't say it better but I will stress - #1 is the most important right now, you won't be able to tackle anything else unless you take care of #1 first!

One thing to remember.... you WILL get through this! You need to keep telling yourself that and stay as positive as you can - not easy but your personal wellbeing is what's most important right now!

I'll just add, society's stigma about seeking help from a counselor/therapist is a bunch of crap - there's nothing wrong seeking help, it's just like going to the dr (yes I saw one when I went through divorce #2 (don't ask) during my chapter 13...helped keep me grounded and properly focused - put things into perspective for me)

Re: Desperate & need help FAST/ what should I do?

RopeIsGettingShorter — Thu, 09 Mar 2023 13:04:12 GMT

Epiki, I think it might be too late for couples counseling. The whole ordeal is frustrating. Finances really can and do destroy relationships. I've tried to find out every little thing it would take to fix things but mostly get the cold shoulder. So, the things I'm fully aware of I am working on currently. Cleaning up my credit is the biggest hurdle right now so I'm seeking every options and avenue.

Re: Desperate & need help FAST/ what should I do?

RopeIsGettingShorter — Thu, 09 Mar 2023 13:08:25 GMT

7774x, thank you for your reply. Yea, I'm trying to figure out and understand when certain accounts would drop off and when I could try my hand at EEs. Just learning about all these possible options now so have to map out a timeline of when some fixes may be possible.

Re: Desperate & need help FAST/ what should I do?

RopeIsGettingShorter — Thu, 09 Mar 2023 13:16:49 GMT

Donkort, I appreciate you taking the time to reply. The state I'm originally from has a block on me being able to get a license and that's part of the National Driver Database. I'm 37 right now and this has been an on going thing for a while. I messed up back in 2011. And 2007. And 2005. Think you can guess how. Resulted in an 8 year revocation. But I've done everything I was told to clean myself up. But that wasn't enough as they added more to the list that I'm taking care of. So, hopefully not too much longer until thats all sorted out. Where I live now, there is no public transportation. Barely any taxis and they basically only do trips to and from the airports. Public bus only runs twice a day. No trains. And uber/ lyft people seem to be quite unreliable here and don't show up a lot of the time lol. And unfortunately walking down the street to a store is not a reality. But like I said, hopefully it'll all be resolved very soon finally. Just frustrating how the timing of everything works. I've started with some GW letters but need to ramp them up. Still don't know much about the pay for delete yet.

Re: Desperate & need help FAST/ what should I do?

RopeIsGettingShorter — Thu, 09 Mar 2023 13:20:31 GMT

Lurker, thank you for your reply and kind words. I've reached out to some folks already for help but have kind of been left hanging but still hoping to hear back. With the overall circumstances, I unfortunately won't be able to go the high priced professional route at this time. But I'm still searching. It's just overwhelming and exhausting when things happen all at once. When it rains it pours...

Re: Desperate & need help FAST/ what should I do?

donkort — Thu, 09 Mar 2023 13:42:11 GMT

"Pay for delete" is sort of a bargaining sort of thing.

It consists, basically, of "I'll pay off my debt to you if you delete the debt from all three credit bureaus." This could be especially good if the collection agency is offering less than the actual debt.

Afterwards, ask nicely for written/tangible documentation that the deletion will happen.

Stuff happens in life. And that goes for most people.

In the state of mind I was in when I was in my 20s, I could have screwed up royally. Luckily, all that happened was that I had a few defaulted loans, garnishing situations, and a state tax lien. In my impulsivity, I could have done much worse.

Re: Desperate & need help FAST/ what should I do?

Creditwiser — Thu, 09 Mar 2023 15:05:19 GMT

I've had pretty good success with pay-for-delete. Most lenders & CA's just want their money. Many will tell you that they simply won't do it but with persistance and negotiation, they typically will. What you want to try first ( very important ) is to pay the original creditor if possible. Some will tell you that since they've hired a CA to go after their money, that you must call and deal with the CA. Others don't care and will gladly accept your payment. When I paid the original creditor, I would then dispute and say the account was paid to original creditor and typically the CA negative reporting was deleted. Always attempt to pay the original creditor first. If that fails, call the CA and negotiate PFD.

Re: Desperate & need help FAST/ what should I do?

tnhomestead — Fri, 10 Mar 2023 04:47:17 GMT

Just a few points, hope they may help. Don't get overwhelmed, took years to mess up and takes a while to get corrected.

1 Get a support network. Pastor, buddy, dog whatever it takes. My dog was a great listener!

2 Don't worry about neighborhoods fha etc. Find a decent realtor, that's their job. They know the area best. Also local banks many times have foreclosures they sell to customers, worth a few phone calls and visits to see.

3. Bikes are cheap n easy, I hitched rides while living in a tent to work so it can be done. Also see point 1.

Work on the license, lots of hoops but worth it.

Okay, then take a deep breath and chill. Now any unpaid charge offs, call and try to pfd. If not pay them. It stops the bleeding and starts the healing.

Get cap1 paid off, no more cc debt if possible! Work on 500 bucks emergency fund, it's amazing how that little can really help. Now all you need is some positive history to start helping. Try for a secure card or 2, spend 50 a month and pay it off every month. Build some positive history so you get hope.

Try and get some counseling. Let her know your doing that, see if she will come. If not, do it on your own. Looks like a lot of bad choices were made, time for good ones.

Not beating up on you, was broke and homeless myself, still broke but have a paid for house now. Not much of one, but it's mine. Started my house with some land and a horrible cabin with a credit score lower than yours!

Good 🤞