topic Re: After Divorce in Rebuilding Your Credit

After Divorce

lovinmymoney — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 01:24:03 GMT

Okay background... I was divorced in 2000. My ex took responsibility for a card from Bank of America (that I opened as a joint account w/ ex in 1998). At the time of divorce I was not up on the credit thing and didn't remove my name. Account is now paid off and closed but shows up on my report with several 30, 60, 90 day lates from 2002-2004. I requested paper work from B of A that we need to both sign stating that he has retroactive responsibility of account. I saw him today for the first time in 2 years and he refused to sign because he does not want the lates on his report. (He doesn't think they are on his report currently although he has not looked at it.) Question... I cannot get a clear answer from B of A. I am wondering if, once the account(and lates) are removed from my report will they be reported on his credit report? The account was opened in 1998, closed in 4/2007, and lates 2002-2004. Does anyone have any experience w/ this kind of thing? I totally appreciate any insight, thoughts, feedback you are willing to offer. (No funny remarks about the ridiculousness of not taking my name off in the 1st place:-)

Re: After Divorce

Anonymous — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 02:28:56 GMT

If the account was joint and they are reporting on yours, unless there was some glitch, they are already on his reports.

If you mean, will they report the lates a 2nd time on his to make it show more lates then it is, no, they can't do that.

I am almost 100% they are already there.

Re: After Divorce

Junejer — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 04:05:43 GMT

@lovinmymoney wrote:
Okay background... I was divorced in 2000. My ex took responsibility for a card from Bank of America (that I opened as a joint account w/ ex in 1998). At the time of divorce I was not up on the credit thing and didn't remove my name. Account is now paid off and closed but shows up on my report with several 30, 60, 90 day lates from 2002-2004. I requested paper work from B of A that we need to both sign stating that he has retroactive responsibility of account. I saw him today for the first time in 2 years and he refused to sign because he does not want the lates on his report. (He doesn't think they are on his report currently although he has not looked at it.) Question... I cannot get a clear answer from B of A. I am wondering if, once the account(and lates) are removed from my report will they be reported on his credit report? The account was opened in 1998, closed in 4/2007, and lates 2002-2004. Does anyone have any experience w/ this kind of thing? I totally appreciate any insight, thoughts, feedback you are willing to offer. (No funny remarks about the ridiculousness of not taking my name off in the 1st place:-)

Why does your ex think that they are not on his report? Was it a "joint" account or was he an authorized user on the account?

A little encouragement--I went through a divorce back around the same time and I had BoA car lease in my name only, but my ex was awarded the vehicle and responsibility for it. Well, as you can imagine, when she was upset with me--30, 60, 90 days past due. Well, they kept calling me, b/c I was responsible for the payment, as it was in my name. I used that as leverage. When she would go past due, I would act as collection agent for them (to include paying the bill and collecting from her later--never did get all of my money). Anyway, they were so pleased with how it was handled that I asked them, in writing of course, to remove the lates and they did, within a month of the lease contract being up. I had a very good experience with BoA from that standpoint.

Re: After Divorce

lovinmymoney — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 03:44:36 GMT

The account it listed as joint w/ him. I am listed as the one that opened the account-strange. He will absolutely not sign ppwrk releasing my name from the account, now he is telling me that he never took responsibility for this card after the divorce. I will need to do more investigating to get proof he was the one paying this bill. In the meantime I have worked on the 5 baddies - disputed one, paid one, in the process of getting Wells Fargo to correct one that was actually a fraud/stolen card and a year from having one removed...that leaves this one with my ex-husband. With the way my score has increased over the last year I know I am in much better shape than I could have hoped for after a financially challenging divorce. I am still trying to figure out the credit score thing-thank goodness for this website! It is changing my life. 5/20/08: Tran 763/EQ 673 /EX ? 6/6/07: Tran ??/EQ 524/ EX 554

Re: After Divorce

Junejer — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 14:26:45 GMT

Nice FICO increase lovin'. Keep pushing forward.

Re: After Divorce

Anonymous — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 14:39:50 GMT

Just curious ... do you have a court order that defines this in your decree? Were these charges made AFTER your divorce?

This sounds more like a LEGAL issue than a credit issue (though it's affecting your credit, obviously!!). Go to www.freeadvice.com and they can help you with the legal remedies you have!!!

GL!!!!

Re: After Divorce

BungalowMo — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 17:12:11 GMT

There should be something in writing in your divorce documents stating that that acct had gone to him. It's not rocket science that you're not the one making payments. If you can fax a copy (or mail it) to BofA & let them know that you were legally absolved of this debt on such&suchadate and you would like them to remove that reference on your CR as this was no longer legally your debt!

That's what I'd do anyway. You shouldn't need his signature...the judges bottom line should be all the legal proof you need.

Re: After Divorce

Junejer — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 17:51:38 GMT

@BungalowMo wrote:

There should be something in writing in your divorce documents stating that that acct had gone to him. It's not rocket science that you're not the one making payments. If you can fax a copy (or mail it) to BofA & let them know that you were legally absolved of this debt on such&suchadate and you would like them to remove that reference on your CR as this was no longer legally your debt!

That's what I'd do anyway. You shouldn't need his signature...the judges bottom line should be all the legal proof you need.

It's a nice thought, but it's not going to hold up. The court can say one thing, but that doesn't legally absolve lovinmymoney from being the responsible party on a loan. Trust me, I went through that one personally.

Re: After Divorce

BungalowMo — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 17:55:46 GMT

wow...that sux. Sorry

Re: After Divorce

Anonymous — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 18:01:57 GMT

BungalowMo wrote:

There should be something in writing in your divorce documents stating that that acct had gone to him. It's not rocket science that you're not the one making payments. If you can fax a copy (or mail it) to BofA & let them know that you were legally absolved of this debt on such&suchadate and you would like them to remove that reference on your CR as this was no longer legally your debt!

That's what I'd do anyway. You shouldn't need his signature...the judges bottom line should be all the legal proof you need.

Sorry, but it doesn't work that way. B of A doesn't care what's in the divorce settlement. It's a legal agreement between the ex-spouses, but B of A was not a party to it and didn't agree to it. B of A has no obligation to remove a party from a joint debt.

It's easier if you look at it this way: say Spouse A wanted a car loan, couldn't qualify, so Spouse B agreed to co-sign. They later divorce and agree that Spouse A takes over the loan. But the bank never would have given the loan to Spouse A alone. So unless the bank thinks that Spouse A's credit has improved since they took the loan, Spouse B (who has always had joint responsibility) can't just be removed.

The legal decree simply gives Spouse B the right to sue Spouse A if Spouse A doesn't do what he/she is supposed to do. However, that's cold comfort it Spouse B doesn't have the money to sue and Spouse A doesn't have the money to pay if he/she loses.

Hope this clarifies. It's an ugly situation that plays out far too often.

Re: After Divorce

Anonymous — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 00:35:47 GMT

glad to see i'm not only one going thru this. when i divorced in 2003 in divorce decree ex was to pay off the joint account with discover and close account. in 2007 discover was calling me trying to collect on the account. i told ex and ex said would be sure to pay on time. Discover told me even though it stated in divorce decree ex was responsible i was still responsible and no way to get my name off of the account until it is closed. i recently pulled my credit report. been trying to get my credit back in shape after the divorce and low and behold discover has about 6 lates on it and is currently past due 60 days. sent ex email and said if not going to pay it send me the statement and cut up card and i will have to take over paying it since ex is totally ruining everything i have been working at so hard for last year and half. so i'm screwed, have to pay ex's debt and now i have no idea if i can talk discover into taking these lates off of my report.

Re: After Divorce

lovinmymoney — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 01:33:46 GMT

The credit card responsibility was not included in my decree. But to tell you the truth the things that are in the decree don't mean much when my ex husband makes very little money and owes Uncle Sam.

I am working to get clarity w/ B of A. I am encouraged by the postings regarding sending GW. I may try that if all else fails. There is a zero balance and the account is closed so it is not a matter of me taking it over. Had I known he wasn't paying it on time I would have taken over like in punkin's case.

You are all being extremely helpful and supportive. It is such a relief to get home and check this site. It's cool to see so many others are committed to bettering their situation AND simultaneously helping others do the same!

May you all know peace and be free of suffering (financially as well!!!)

5/20/08: Tran 763/EQ 673 /EX ?
6/6/07: Tran ??/EQ 524/ EX 554

Re: After Divorce

Anonymous — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 02:08:23 GMT

@BungalowMo wrote:
There should be something in writing in your divorce documents stating that that acct had gone to him. It's not rocket science that you're not the one making payments. If you can fax a copy (or mail it) to BofA & let them know that you were legally absolved of this debt on such&suchadate and you would like them to remove that reference on your CR as this was no longer legally your debt!
That's what I'd do anyway. You shouldn't need his signature...the judges bottom line should be all the legal proof you need.

Her only recourse is to either 1) take him back to court for his renegging on their divorce decree, or 2) take him to court to force him to take her off the account.

Meanwhile, the smartest thing she can do (if BoA lets her) is pay the debt, explain the situation to them, and hope that they'll delete the file for her. THEN sue the &*$#@ in small claims to get paid back. Cold comfort if the schmuck doesn't have the $$ to reimburse her, though.

You hear stories about this ALL the time.

Another thing she can try IF she has not used the card to incur charges is to talk to BoA and see if she can't persuade them to remove her name. Probably won't happen, but you never can tell.

OP: this IS a card that you and he opened together, isn't it? I mean, he didn't forge your name on the account did he? (That happens A LOT, too) If he did, go to your local police department and report the turkey for fraud!! That WOULD get the BoA to take your name off -- and put his rear end in jail for fraud!!!

I'll tell you ... I went through something similar with my ex-husband. After all was told, my credit was ruined for 7 years. Ex turned in my car for voluntary repo (brand new Volvo -- owed $30K on it), charged $50K in credit cards, kited checks all over the base we lived on to the tune of $25K ... and drained my bank account (personal and business). I sincerely wish you the best of luck!!!

Re: After Divorce-on the right path?

lovinmymoney — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 21:21:36 GMT

I appreciate the replies here, thank you a ton! Good news...

My ex husband just agreed to sign paperwork to absolve me of responsibility on the B of A account-WOOHOO!!!!I fed ex'ed the form to him right after he hung up.(to Wonderin-there is no balance. It is a closed account but showing several lates 20,60, 90, 120's following divorce - none prior)I am trying to get my name off retroactive as of divorce date. I would love some feedback on my next step.

My plan is to send (to BoA) the form with both signatures, attach a brief letter signed by both and notarized stating that my responsibility ended in May 2000 and finally a letter (this part I am not sure if I need) asking that all reporting on this account following the divorce date be removed from my report. I am new to this and I am not sure if I am doing this right.

Do I ask BoA to delete items or will that happen automatically? If I do ask, is it like a GW or more of a 'I expect that you will' kinda thing? Will it help/hurt/be neutral to my score to have these of as the account is closed? It was opened in 1998 and closed 4/2004-lates were from 2002-2004)

I am so grateful he is being honest. I can hardly wait to have this resolved.

Re: After Divorce

lovinmymoney — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 23:12:15 GMT

bump

Re: After Divorce-on the right path?

Anonymous — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 23:21:08 GMT

@lovinmymoney wrote:
I appreciate the replies here, thank you a ton! Good news...

My ex husband just agreed to sign paperwork to absolve me of responsibility on the B of A account-WOOHOO!!!!I fed ex'ed the form to him right after he hung up.(to Wonderin-there is no balance. It is a closed account but showing several lates 20,60, 90, 120's following divorce - none prior)I am trying to get my name off retroactive as of divorce date. I would love some feedback on my next step.

My plan is to send (to BoA) the form with both signatures, attach a brief letter signed by both and notarized stating that my responsibility ended in May 2000 and finally a letter (this part I am not sure if I need) asking that all reporting on this account following the divorce date be removed from my report. I am new to this and I am not sure if I am doing this right.

Do I ask BoA to delete items or will that happen automatically? If I do ask, is it like a GW or more of a 'I expect that you will' kinda thing? Will it help/hurt/be neutral to my score to have these of as the account is closed? It was opened in 1998 and closed 4/2004-lates were from 2002-2004)

I am so grateful he is being honest. I can hardly wait to have this resolved.

I've HEARD that BoA is more forgiving than most ... I know one woman who used to work in the Resolution Dept for BoA that said that they often forgave lates on accounts that had been good while open (more good than lates) and more than once forgave the lates in cases like yours (involving nasty divorces with buttheads).

She hangs out in another forum (freeadvice.com -> Divorce/Settlement forum) ... I can ask her if she has a name to recommend, if you like? Could take a day or two as she's not on that forum 24/7.

Your situation isn't uncommon ... I've heard her give advice on this very subject many times to women just in your situation (seems to happen to women more than men - go figger). She's always said that if you don't like the answer you get with one, try another ... you're more likely to find a sympathetic ear and willing helper than with any other CCC.

As to whether it will help or be neutral, I wouldn't know that. I'm still so *$#@ new to the whole spiel that the very question kinda makes my head spin!

I'd think that if they were removed/forgiven, it would help. An account that's pure as the driven snow has got to be worth more than one with a few grease spots!!

Re: After Divorce-on the right path?

lovinmymoney — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 05:46:44 GMT

Thanks Wonderin! I would appreciate any help/names you could give me. It is easy to become overwhelmed with this whole thing and I have decided to take care of one baddie at a time. Luckily I have already made progress in a few weeks time. This site is INCREDIBLY helpful- I'll check out the other site you mentioned.

again-thanks a ton!

Re: After Divorce-on the right path?

Anonymous — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 19:38:27 GMT

Okay ... she said she's not comfy with giving out names. Apparently, she's seen (perhaps?) how we post'em here and she doesn't want her co-workers to deal with the backlash. She also said that she's not worked there for so long that it's more than likely that no one she'd know would still be around, anyway.

She said that if you haven't already, go up the chain of command (CSR -> supervisor -> the supervisor's boss, etc) ... and try speaking to the "fraud" department. Even though your case doesn't sound like fraud per se, they should be able to direct you to someone who CAN help you. At the very least, someone in that department might have a good contact for a GW that will actually READ it ... besides, it will create a "paper trail" and your GW might be taken far more seriously.

She said they wouldn't forgive the debt (and I don't think that applies to you in this case -- you said it was paid off, right?), BUT they might go ahead and forgive the lates associated ESPECIALLY if you can prove to them that you were 1) divorced and 2) did NOT charge on the card during that time.

She also said (which we all already figured) that what happened to you happens A LOT. And that even if the first 10 people you talk to don't know what to do, someone will.

Send me your e-mail addy by PM and I'll see if she'll e-mail you directly. She might have more tidbits to give you upon questioning.

Re: After Divorce-on the right path?

Junejer — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 02:55:23 GMT

Lovin', I will tell you what happened with my situation with BoA. In my DD, it stated that she would take responsibility for that vehicle, which happened to be in my name ONLY. BoA did not want her on the loan whatsoever. So, when feeling spiteful, she would go 60 and 90 days past due. The mail was going to her addy (my former addy) and when they threatened repo, she would pay some to get it out of default.

Anyway, when I finally pulled my report, I noticed the lates and immediately started a convo with BoA. As I recall, I did send them a copy of the DD to show this. Also, I acted as CA. I was really good too (paying to keep off the 30 day list) and collecting later from her later (only recovered about 1/2 of that). They stopped dealing with her altogether and called me when the lease would go about 10 days p.d. (at my request). When the lease was over, I simply asked them if they would consider removing the lates (about 4 each of 60s and 90s). They saw that I acted in good faith and were very good about deleting the lates. EQ & EX shows the lates were deleted and TU (of course, being the haters that they are) deleted the entire TL.

It is definitely a GW type of thing, as they are under no obligation to do so, but I found them to be more GW friendly than other financial institutions.

HTH

Re: After Divorce-on the right path?

lovinmymoney — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 18:55:43 GMT

thanks ByrdMan - good to know!