topic Re: Money Manners in SmorgasBoard

Money Manners

Anonymous — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 21:40:02 GMT

Am I wrong? Is it still considered impolite to comment on othere peoples financial status?

Let me premis by saying that my husband is an overseas military contractor and I work on a military base in europe. I have a token part time job so that we can live here legally. Most of my coworkers are 10 years or more younger than me. (I have never felt so old)

I work at a bank. To work there I had to be an account holder so I have a checking account with them. I also keep our main savings in the same institution. My husbands direct deposit goes to a different institution and each pay period I make a largish deposit into my savings account. This means that I have to ask one of my co-workers to deposit the money for me. There is one girl that I work with that everytime she deposits money for me she comments. Stuff like "dang girl, you got a lot of money." Or some such similar but inapropriate statement. If I disagree then she continues on and will start saying my balance out loud. This makes me very uncomfortable. I have asked her not to and explained that while $XXk may look like a lot to her, it's not. I'm 10 years older and don't have near what I ought to for my age. I've also told her that how much I do or don't have in the bank is no one elses business and not something I care to discuss. I can understand that all she sees of my financial life are those deposits, so she has no idea the horrors that are in my past. Still, I think it's rude to comment. If I was any other customer she would never even consider saying anything. I don't want to get her in any real trouble but I've reached my limit and I'm considering complaining to the manager.

Opinions please? Am I wrong to be bothered by this?

Re: Money Manners

haulingthescoreup — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 22:06:04 GMT

No, you're not wrong at all! That's terrible behavior.

If I were you, I'd say, "Please stop. Now." One time.

If she does it again, I'd go to the manager.

That's incredibly unprofessional.

Re: Money Manners

Anonymous — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 22:47:12 GMT

It's happened 3 times now. The first time I was so dumbfounded I culdn't even respond. I ended up sputtering something about it not being a lot of money and "a lot" was a matter of perspectvie. It just completely took me by surprise. The second time, I reiterated that it really wasn't much and told her I didn't like talking about it. I also spoke to her direct supervisor and I know that she talked to her about it. This time I took matters into my own hands and told her that I really didn't appreciate it. I also told her that she was only 21 and really should start her own savings so that by the time she's my age she'll have more than that. That I didn't like discussing my money and with coworkers and I thought it was an inappropriate conversation. She said I was being sensative and if she had that much money in her account she'd shout it from the roof. She also said that if it really wasn't that much that I should give some to her. That statement is what got me thinking I should take it up with the manager. I think it's rude but also unprofessional.

Re: Money Manners

MarineVietVet — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 06:02:10 GMT

@Anonymous wrote:
It's happened 3 times now. The first time I was so dumbfounded I culdn't even respond. I ended up sputtering something about it not being a lot of money and "a lot" was a matter of perspectvie. It just completely took me by surprise. The second time, I reiterated that it really wasn't much and told her I didn't like talking about it. I also spoke to her direct supervisor and I know that she talked to her about it. This time I took matters into my own hands and told her that I really didn't appreciate it. I also told her that she was only 21 and really should start her own savings so that by the time she's my age she'll have more than that. That I didn't like discussing my money and with coworkers and I thought it was an inappropriate conversation. She said I was being sensative and if she had that much money in her account she'd shout it from the roof. She also said that if it really wasn't that much that I should give some to her. That statement is what got me thinking I should take it up with the manager. I think it's rude but also unprofessional.

That explains alot. Most of her brain cells are still dead. At least mine were at age 21.

But that's no excuse for her behavior. She has to understand some things are off limits to talk about.

Re: Money Manners

Anonymous — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 12:09:40 GMT

I agree that your co-worker is pretty crude and rude about your deposits. Thoughtless comes to mind as well.

Aside from discussing it with her manager (I would do that with no reservations, given that she's had the opportunity to self-correct and didn't), have you considered having another person do your deposits for you? Or, is it possible to do the deposit electronically?

Re: Money Manners

Anonymous — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 15:53:00 GMT

@Anonymous wrote:
I agree that your co-worker is pretty crude and rude about your deposits. Thoughtless comes to mind as well.

Aside from discussing it with her manager (I would do that with no reservations, given that she's had the opportunity to self-correct and didn't), have you considered having another person do your deposits for you? Or, is it possible to do the deposit electronically?

Electronic transfers aren't an option because I don't want to pay fees and the institution the payroll goes to will charge me for it. Most of the time it's cash and becusae of the size I have to go through the line just like everyone else. It's just the luck of the draw when I get her. I could just write a check but then I have to deal with check holds and I don't want my money on hold.

When the DH comes home for his next leave I think we're going to change the main account for payroll to USAA. Then I can transfer electronicly with no issue. I may just move our savings over there as well. But I get a decent rate where it is. That's all beyond the point. I'm going to go in ealry on Monday and talk to the manager. She may be young and dumb but that's no excuse.

Re: Money Manners

Anonymous — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 19:36:24 GMT

You are absolutely correct, it is wrong, unprofessional and frankly outright inappropriate. You being an employee of the company or not does not and should not change the standards of "keep your **bleep** mouth shut" and "respect the customer's privacy" because you are suddenly more familiar to them. I have been banking with the same bank for over 15 years. I know everyone, including the management, executives, tellers and not once have they EVER commented in such a manner and they like me and I give them alot of room to be familiar with me, more so than with just mere acquaintances.

As already suggested, you need to tell them, listen, I think its offensive, rude and out of line and I'd like to ask you to stop. If they don't, then bring it up with the management or even as someone who works for the company, notify HR, trust me, they will have a heart to heart with them that will shut them up, if they want to keep their job in this market. I have always found commenting and sticking your nose in other people's business to be tacky and an indicator of lack of class and dignity. Highly inappropriate, especially if the person has not asked or given you the right to comment.