topic Re: Is WoW worth trying to shoot your wife AND go to jail over? in SmorgasBoard

Is WoW worth trying to shoot your wife AND go to jail over?

Anonymous — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 00:28:05 GMT

I don't understand this game. For the last 6 weeks DH has been glued to his chair playing.

Today was our anniversary and *most* times a bouquet of flowers and a nice dinner would be great.

What did I get? I asked him to please stop playing so we could spend SOME time together, but I could tell he was already trashed on booze.

He went in our bedroom and grabbed his glock and pointed it at me, threatening to shoot me. I was able to bite him and get free. I had my cell phone in my pocket and dialed 911 and the police were here in no time. He has since been carted off to jail after finding his LOADED gun(glocks have no safety on them) Not to mention the fifth AND empty pint of crown.

Anyone else have to deal with these types of additctions? How did they turn out?

My landlord told me I would have to either move, lease is not in my name, or rent a 1 bd which cost 300 more. I can't afford this and I don't have anyone left in my family to help me. I'm scared, hurt, furious all at the same time.

Sorry I had to post this here, but I have no "real" friends as I spend all my time at home. I've been sick and it limits the things I can do and places I can go.

Any suggestions, words of encouragement are more than welcome. Thanks to all you guys!

Re: Is WoW worth trying to shoot your wife AND go to jail over?

Anonymous — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 01:20:34 GMT

Stef. I don't have a clue what wow is, but my advice to you would be go get as far away from this man as humanly possible. I don't know where you are located, but I'm certain there has to be a shelter in the vicinity that will help you until you can get more suitable accomodations. Having been there, anything is better than being in an abusive relationship. Get out as fast as you can.

Do you know how long before he is released? If I can help find you a place, I certainly will make phone calls to try to find you a place where ever you are, but it is imperitive you get out. PM me if you need help finding a place. Do you have children?

Message Edited by ObsessedwithmyFico on 07-10-2008 06:20 PM

Re: Is WoW worth trying to shoot your wife AND go to jail over?

Anonymous — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 01:01:12 GMT

I am very sorry for your situation but, you may not like what I am going to say. From what you wrote I feel there is more than just the WoW going on. You seem to be in a volitale situation and you need to remove yourself from it as soon as possible. Why wait till he actually fires that glock at you.

Get out while he is incarcerated and go to a domestic violence shelter. I would rather be alive and sick than dead, any day. And if you have children, what is it doing to them.

Go while you can and get help.

I know video games can cause problems in households, but this is going way too far.

Message Edited by guiness56 on 07-10-2008 06:01 PM

Re: Is WoW worth trying to shoot your wife AND go to jail over?

haulingthescoreup — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 01:37:05 GMT

Wow, sorry to read this! Aren't you in hiding from your first husband?

I thought this husband was active duty military. Do you have any options there?

edit to add: WoW = World of Warcraft, I think.

I'm guessing that the Crown Royal is the real problem, and the obsessive gaming is just a symptom.

I'd get into AlAnon for you and AlaTeen for your kids.

Message Edited by haulingthescoreup on 07-10-2008 06:37 PM

Re: Is WoW worth trying to shoot your wife AND go to jail over?

Anonymous — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 01:39:14 GMT

If he is active duty military, the fact that he went to jail at all is going to get the ball started. The local police have to notify his 1st Sgt or what ever his branches equivalent is. They will know that she called 911 and is more than likely listed as a domestic violence issue.

Use his chain to get all the support you need.

I agree with the alcohol being the issue, not WoW.

Message Edited by guiness56 on 07-10-2008 06:39 PM

Re: Is WoW worth trying to shoot your wife AND go to jail over?

Anonymous — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 01:54:39 GMT

Does anybody know how to contact Stef? I am really worried about this and will try to help her get OUT! She's not responded and that worries me.

Re: Is WoW worth trying to shoot your wife AND go to jail over?

marty56 — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 02:11:21 GMT

Does someone have access to her email here and possibly the city that she lives in.

Re: Is WoW worth trying to shoot your wife AND go to jail over?

Anonymous — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 02:53:24 GMT

I dealt with both marijuana and alcohol addiction. It does not turn out well. It ended with two pets being beaten to death, PTSD for me, Reactive Attachment Disorder for my oldest child, and him allowing a "friend" to stay in our house, who then robbed a Bank of America a few blocks from the house, which meant we were both implicated as well. I had my work life as well as my personal life invaded by police & FBI trying to make sure I was not involved, even though I had recently moved out (finally realized he was AWFUL). I was quickly cleared, but it was horrible.

The "friend" is now in prison for 44 years.

My ex is now homeless, still a raging alcoholic & weed addict, and has never attempted to support his children in any way. We last heard from him six months ago. Of course, this is a good thing as he is dangerous and I really don't want to be bound to him by child support.

It's been four years since I left, and I could never have imagined the life I have now. Of course, before I got in deep with the ex, I could have never imagined the awful life I had then...

Feel free to PM me for my email address. Also, you might want to check out this support forum:

http://groups.msn.com/narcissisticpersonalitydisorder/homepage.msnw ... while your husband may not have NPD, many people struggling with drug & alcohol addiction will behave as a person with narcissistic personality disorder while under the power of their addiction. Plus, it's just a good place to get support from other women (like me!) who have been there, done that, and are either in the process of leaving, or have recently left and seeking support to stay GONE.

Re: Is WoW worth trying to shoot your wife AND go to jail over?

Anonymous — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 02:58:57 GMT

Also, go to the police station or call the deputies who responded -- I'm sure one of them left their business card. Ask them where the local Battered Women's Shelter is. Make clear to them you want the secret Battered Women's Shelter, NOT the regular Homeless Shelter.

The BWS is private, and kept secret so your husband cannot find you. And, it's not a giant gym with cots... they are very nice beautiful homes for women to stay at and get their lives together. When my daughters and I went, I was expecting some dirty icky place filled with drug addicts, honestly. Instead, it was like a bed & breakfast.. granite countertops, beautiful setting, updated furniture... we didn't ever want to leave!! It will give you time to clear your head, find resources for counseling, and save your money so you can eventually move into your own apartment.

Re: Is WoW worth trying to shoot your wife AND go to jail over?

_andClimbing — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 03:04:16 GMT

I'm sorry you are going through this.

As with any addiction, he will have to go all the way to the bottom before he will begin to get better. In the interim, please don't kid yourself into thinking you can help him. You don't have to take my word for it...but I hope you do.

There are resources available to help in or near every community. I recommend going to Alanon. Even if you can't relate to the people who attend the meetings, they will be VERY knowledgeable about where you can turn for help - and they will be all too happy to point you in a safe direction.

God bless.

Re: Is WoW worth trying to shoot your wife AND go to jail over?

Anonymous — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 03:12:40 GMT

Thanks for the support. Sorry I went MIA, the police dept and of course, his 1, which turned into 2 phone calls were to beg me to get him out. NO!!!

So, he can do his time there and reflect on the mistakes he has made. No, this is not the first time he pulled a gun on me, the M-4 as a matter of fact, but he took the bolt out. Like I know what that means. He pulled the trigger and I pee'd myself. NO, I didn't think it was funny OR cute.

I am a pretty passive person and what he says goes. Normally we get along, but he has a huge tendency to lie to me. Especially about drinking. It's so bad, I can tell by the way he walks and talks how much he has consumed. At this point, I don't think I can stay with him. My goal, my "bucket list" was to be able to get a house so his 2 son's from a previous marriage (she dumped them when they were around 1 and 6 months) His aunt and uncle have them. Last week, we discussed out credit getting in a much better Rate, he said, "Oh well". The kids are better off with the aunt and uncle. These boys are as close to me as my own children and it pains me to see him act this way. Immature is not even close to how he acts. It truly breaks his kids hearts ,as well as mine.

I guess I can X that on off my bucket list, although it was the one I truly wanted to have before I die.

After calling back up to the SO to speak to a really good friend of mine, thinking he would do what he always does best, I was told by another deputy that my friend finally suscumed to brain cancer a couple of months back.

It's a crappy day all around.

Re: Is WoW worth trying to shoot your wife AND go to jail over?

Anonymous — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 03:14:34 GMT

We do have shelter's here as well. I'm just mad I spent all my money on bills for an apt I won't be allowed to live in!

Re: Is WoW worth trying to shoot your wife AND go to jail over?

Anonymous — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 03:36:47 GMT

Stef, I'm really sorry to hear about this. That is terrible.

You need to get out of there, as soon as feasibly possible. You should file charges for brandishing a firearm, and attempted murder. You do not point a gun at someone unless you are willing to kill them. People doing stuff like that makes people like myself look really bad.

You didn't get him out of jail, which is the right decision. However, the downside for that is that he may come looking for you when he gets out.

You should consider getting a pistol, and a permit to carry one, if your state allows it. What state do you live in? I read about situations like these all the time in the gun newsletters, and they never end up good for the spouse.

You have a big heart, and I've read lots of your posts helping people with the questions here on the forums. Perhaps there is a friend you can stay with for a bit?

And WoW in and of itself is harmless, even though I hate it. There are more deep seeded issues at play here.

Re: Is WoW worth trying to shoot your wife AND go to jail over?

Anonymous — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 03:49:47 GMT

I do have my own glock and a permit to carry. (It's not that hard in louisiana to get one. I have been run through the ringer when having the state police do a back ground check for my gaming license. It was similar except for having to take the classes)

I *doubt* he would try to hurt me again at this point (maybe I am in denial) but after a night or 2 in jail may make him realize what ALL he has to lose. His job(s), family, respect from those in his unit.

I do have a friend in florida, he is very close to me (and HATES my husband) He said I am more than welcome there. Bad thing is, my daughter is 2 yrs from graduating and I don't want to up root her, nor do I want to leave her with friends and have my husband attack her, since I left for florida.

He's in for the night atleast, but it may be Monday before I judge set's his bail. Guess who has his wallet??

One day he will learn to stop screwing up. Life is too **bleep** short.

Re: Is WoW worth trying to shoot your wife AND go to jail over?

Anonymous — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 04:01:24 GMT

@Anonymous wrote:
I do have my own glock and a permit to carry. (It's not that hard in louisiana to get one. I have been run through the ringer when having the state police do a back ground check for my gaming license. It was similar except for having to take the classes)
I *doubt* he would try to hurt me again at this point (maybe I am in denial) but after a night or 2 in jail may make him realize what ALL he has to lose. His job(s), family, respect from those in his unit.
I do have a friend in florida, he is very close to me (and HATES my husband) He said I am more than welcome there. Bad thing is, my daughter is 2 yrs from graduating and I don't want to up root her, nor do I want to leave her with friends and have my husband attack her, since I left for florida.
He's in for the night atleast, but it may be Monday before I judge set's his bail. Guess who has his wallet??
One day he will learn to stop screwing up. Life is too **bleep** short.

Well that's good you have a permit. Did you see my gun thread on that by chance? What kind of Glock do you have?

Yeah, sounds like it's a complicated situation. Isn't it always when kids are involved? I'm just turned 27, so I know I should start settling down here soon. But I still don't think I can give up my rock and roll career and become a "normal" person.

Of course, there is also the possibility he could get released via PR. Have charges been filed?

Re: Is WoW worth trying to shoot your wife AND go to jail over?

Anonymous — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 04:36:32 GMT

@Anonymous wrote:

@Anonymous wrote:
I do have my own glock and a permit to carry. (It's not that hard in louisiana to get one. I have been run through the ringer when having the state police do a back ground check for my gaming license. It was similar except for having to take the classes)
I *doubt* he would try to hurt me again at this point (maybe I am in denial) but after a night or 2 in jail may make him realize what ALL he has to lose. His job(s), family, respect from those in his unit.
I do have a friend in florida, he is very close to me (and HATES my husband) He said I am more than welcome there. Bad thing is, my daughter is 2 yrs from graduating and I don't want to up root her, nor do I want to leave her with friends and have my husband attack her, since I left for florida.
He's in for the night atleast, but it may be Monday before I judge set's his bail. Guess who has his wallet??
One day he will learn to stop screwing up. Life is too **bleep** short.

Well that's good you have a permit. Did you see my gun thread on that by chance? What kind of Glock do you have?

Yeah, sounds like it's a complicated situation. Isn't it always when kids are involved? I'm just turned 27, so I know I should start settling down here soon. But I still don't think I can give up my rock and roll career and become a "normal" person.

Of course, there is also the possibility he could get released via PR. Have charges been filed?

I have a glock 27 (40cal) We also have a glock 23 (which the police now have) a glock 22, an M-4, Beretta Storm, and a 380.

He's gone to jail before for gun charges (not against me) so I doubt he will be released via PR. The Officer filed the charges against him, the box where I could have initialed is not. They said THEY were going to do the filing and I suppose they meant it.

All of this for my nagging on him to stop drinking so much and get off the world of warcraft for a break. Was it too much to ask really?? I'm terminally ill, I don't have too many birthday's and anniversaries left, so, to me they are VERY important.

I'm not one to throw in the towel and demand a divorce, but right not, as cloudy as my judgement is, it may be for the best considering how things are going. I physcially drained from trying to please him in all respects and get nothing in return but heart ache.

PS. Any SO that try to sign up for this game, I highly suggest you run far far away.

Re: Is WoW worth trying to shoot your wife AND go to jail over?

Anonymous — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 11:11:28 GMT

ivyalmighty wrote:

http://groups.msn.com/narcissisticpersonalitydisorder/homepage.msnw ... while your husband may not have NPD, many people struggling with drug & alcohol addiction will behave as a person with narcissistic personality disorder while under the power of their addiction. Plus, it's just a good place to get support from other women (like me!) who have been there, done that, and are either in the process of leaving, or have recently left and seeking support to stay GONE.

Wow Ivy, so much of this rings true. I just thought he was a selfish person, no feelings for anyone but himself. I've had to gloat some these last 4 phone calls he's made, begging me to bond him out. No! He is in dire need of a lesson and I will be calling his Sgt tomorrow and let them know he needs to go into a program NOW.

A few months ago, due to drugs and booze, he fell out at drill and had to be taken to the hospital since he had a seizure. He naturally failed his drug test and his Major ordered him into rehab OR ELSE. Guess what he chose to do? Nadda. They keep him because we need people.Swept the whole incident under the rug. I beg for help and I am just the whining wife. I don't get it. I guess when he kills somone, MAYBE they will actually DO something.

As far me, as much as I hate to leave him, I just don't see how I can continue with this kind of treatment. I scheduled an appt for my attorney on the 18th and he said "Good!" That alone should show me how much he cares for me.

Re: Is WoW worth trying to shoot your wife AND go to jail over?

marty56 — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 11:37:33 GMT

I asked myself what I say to one of my sisters if she was in the same situation as you were in and I would do the move even with uprooting your daughter.

Remember we are kinda of an extended family here. Most of us have never meet each other but we still get to know each other as well as if we did. We fight and argue here but we are still family and family always support each other.

Re: Is WoW worth trying to shoot your wife AND go to jail over?

Anonymous — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 11:40:57 GMT

marty56 wrote:
I asked myself what I say to one of my sisters if she was in the same situation as you were in and I would do the move even with uprooting your daughter.

Remember we are kinda of an extended family here. Most of us have never meet each other but we still get to know each other as well as if we did. We fight and argue here but we are still family and family always support each other.

Thank you Marty, and everyone else who responded. It means alot. I don't have alot of friends. I stay to myself and my immediate family (what's left of them).

I'm still voting to boot him. My daughter and I don't need this drama.

Re: Is WoW worth trying to shoot your wife AND go to jail over?

Anonymous — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 11:49:23 GMT

I vote boot him as well, for your sake AS WELL AS your daughters. Remember she is watching and learning from your actions and this could have an affect on how she handles future relationships. Best of luck to you.