topic Do Gender pronouns choice make it easier for people to talk instead of someone else? in SmorgasBoard

Do Gender pronouns choice make it easier for people to talk instead of someone else?

villemiami — Sun, 11 Aug 2024 01:30:25 GMT

For years, I lost much time calling credit card companies for my mum, who does not Speak English. So I have to wait for a translator, and it takes so much time to translate, plus my mum is very old so she is hard of hearing, so they have to repeat. But lately, I called one credit card company for information about my mum's credit card and I said that my first name was her, and everything went fine, without a translator. I have Power of Attorney over my mother. Do you think that the new trend on choosing gender pronoun prevent employee to say to a customer "Hey, you have a male voice, you're not a woman"?

Re: Do Gender pronouns choice make it easier for people to talk instead of someone else?

Gunnerboy — Sun, 11 Aug 2024 01:58:02 GMT

They likely won't ask that question. When they ask you if you are her, you shouldn't keep pretending to be your mother.

In your Big Drop thread, I mentioned that my elderly mother wanted her own credit card, but at her age and with her limited English, it was my decision to make her an AU on my BoA card.

Also, each creditor would need to have your signed PoA on file in order to speak on her behalf.

Re: Do Gender pronouns choice make it easier for people to talk instead of someone else?

villemiami — Sun, 11 Aug 2024 01:58:53 GMT

I hate to lie, but I also think it's very unfair that for years, so many times, instead of having a conversation of 5 minutes, it's 15 minutes instead. I'm talking about credit card companies, but it was also for other things, like health insurance.

Some employees just ask my mother if she agrees to give authorization to me to talk on her behalf, at the beginning, and this is great. But unfortunately, others want to use a translator for the whole conversation, and my mother is even slow to understand in her own language sometimes. It happened to me also several times where the translator disconnected for unknown reason, or that it was difficult to hear him, or even once, the translator was on call, but the employee disconnected. And I have to make the phone call again.

I have my own life and this is time consuming.

Re: Do Gender pronouns choice make it easier for people to talk instead of someone else?

CMH90 — Sun, 11 Aug 2024 02:21:25 GMT

Not trying to sound harsh, but you're literally committing fraud on a recorded line.

if you're POA I would just make sure that the bank has that information on file and you'll be good to go. Don't get yourself in trouble. All it takes is one agent to report that as suspicious and you'll have a whole mess on your hands.

Re: Do Gender pronouns choice make it easier for people to talk instead of someone else?

Gunnerboy — Sun, 11 Aug 2024 02:31:47 GMT

@villemiami

My siblings and I sympathize with you. We had the same issues for years.

For example, it was always impossible for us to call and speak on behalf of our mother. CSR's would ask our mother to give verbal consent for us to speak for her. She would struggle to understand this question. Confusion ensued, culminating with CSR's hanging up the call, accusing us of coercing/coaching her on what to say.

Online account management is one workaround. Sending PoA to creditors should help you. The best thing for you is just make her an AU on your account.

Re: Do Gender pronouns choice make it easier for people to talk instead of someone else?

villemiami — Sun, 11 Aug 2024 02:41:49 GMT

You understand my situation because you had the same experience.

Online management is the best, but sometimes, they ask to call a phone number.

If I have a recurrent interaction with some company, then yes, asking if they can take into account the POA is a good option.
Often, when my mother hears the question, she doesn't hear it well, or I would have to explain it to her, it takes too much time, so I tell her what to say. Of course, before I give her the phone, I tell her what it's all about.

Society is not well-adapted to this case. Some companies don't even have a translator, so they ask my mother if she agrees to let me talk in her behalf and because she doesn't understand the question in English, I have to tell her to say Yes.

Re: Do Gender pronouns choice make it easier for people to talk instead of someone else?

Gunnerboy — Sun, 11 Aug 2024 02:51:51 GMT

@villemiami wrote:
You understand my situation because you had the same experience.
Online management is the best, but sometimes, they ask to call a phone number.
If I have a recurrent interaction with some company, then yes, asking if they can take into account the POA is a good option.
Often, when my mother hears the question, she doesn't hear it well, or I would have to explain it to her, it takes too much time, so I tell her what to say. Of course, before I give her the phone, I tell her what it's all about.
Society is not well-adapted to this case. Some companies don't even have a translator, so they ask my mother if she agrees to let me talk in her behalf and because she doesn't understand the question in English, I have to tell her to say Yes.

You haven't specified the nature of the accounts you are calling for. If one of them is her personal banking, you should consider adding yourself and making it a joint account. I dd this when my father passed away, so now whenever she has a banking issue, I can resolve it.

In most cases, you may need to accompany your mother to a local office to explain the situation and get it resolved that way.

Re: Do Gender pronouns choice make it easier for people to talk instead of someone else?

villemiami — Sun, 11 Aug 2024 03:46:45 GMT

When my father passed away, I went to the bank with my mother and the bank employee suggested to add me in the account, my mother agreed. When I called today, it was for her credit card from the same bank, to ask about a $50 statement credit for a $50 travel purchase.

Re: Do Gender pronouns choice make it easier for people to talk instead of someone else?

Anonymous — Sun, 11 Aug 2024 04:01:44 GMT

@Gunnerboy wrote:
If one of them is her personal banking, you should consider adding yourself and making it a joint account.

This can be good, but this can also cause issues related to beneficiaries, wills, estates, etc.

Re: Do Gender pronouns choice make it easier for people to talk instead of someone else?

Gunnerboy — Sun, 11 Aug 2024 04:04:50 GMT

@Anonymous wrote:
@Gunnerboy wrote:
If one of them is her personal banking, you should consider adding yourself and making it a joint account.
This can be good, but this can also cause issues related to beneficiaries, wills, estates, etc.

This is true. In my case, I was already the named beneficiary of my parents' account.

Re: Do Gender pronouns choice make it easier for people to talk instead of someone else?

villemiami — Sun, 11 Aug 2024 04:12:58 GMT

I am the only child, she made no will. I became joint owner 6 years ago. I think that it simplifies things in my case.

Re: Do Gender pronouns choice make it easier for people to talk instead of someone else?

ptatohed — Sun, 11 Aug 2024 07:50:40 GMT

2 pages long and this is still in Credit Cards and not Smorg??

Re: Do Gender pronouns choice make it easier for people to talk instead of someone else?

Anonymous — Sun, 11 Aug 2024 08:12:56 GMT

@ptatohed wrote:
2 pages long and this is still in Credit Cards and not Smorg??

@ptatohed

But what if this thread identifies as being a credit card thread?

Next in the news "The woke movement is pressing to allow forum threads to marry"

Re: Do Gender pronouns choice make it easier for people to talk instead of someone else?

BearsCubsOtters — Sun, 11 Aug 2024 16:35:52 GMT

@villemiami wrote:
For years, I lost much time calling credit card companies for my mum, who does not Speak English. So I have to wait for a translator, and it takes so much time to translate, plus my mum is very old so she is hard of hearing, so they have to repeat. But lately, I called one credit card company for information about my mum's credit card and I said that my first name was her, and everything went fine, without a translator. I have Power of Attorney over my mother. Do you think that the new trend on choosing gender pronoun prevent employee to say to a customer "Hey, you have a male voice, you're not a woman"?

Not necessarily. Granted it has been nearly 15 years now before this was really a thing, but I used to work for a credit card-issuing bank. This situation occurred even back then. There were various scenarios that we saw:

1. A female with a low voice or a male with a higher voice would call. As long as they could quickly verify the information without hesitation; there was no unusual activity or they did not make an outlandish request that was out of the ordinary (next-day air a replacement card out-of-state or out-of-country or request a large increase on a normally dormant account) the CSRs proceeded as normal and made note of the low or high voice.

2. Fraudsters would call and clearly the gender was not matching the voice or it was clear that a voice changer was being used. Typically these callers had unusual requests or wanted changes made to a normally dormant account. If these individuals could verify information, the requests were usually made but then queued for the fraud department to review.

3. Family members calling on behalf of the cardholder. Normally innocuous; just an age, understanding or language barrier. If there was no bad intent, the family members would identify themselves as such and hand the phone to the cardholder to verify account information and give verbal permission for their family member to talk on their behalf. No big deal.

4. Family members calling on behalf of cardholder but identifying themselves as the cardholder. Usually pauses in providing info and an individual in background providing information. These would go to fraud.

5. Family members/care givers calling and pretending to be the cardholder or identifying themselves as the cardholder's family/care giver but the cardholder is over 60 years old. Depending on the nature of the call, what was requested, account activity and how the actual cardholder was being treated, this could also be reviewed by fraud AND the elder exploitation team. We routinely filed reports with states that have elder financial exploitation laws (i.e. California-and they follow up often with a visit to their home). You would not believe how many older customers were being taken advantage of and it was a top concern of the bank to take it seriously.

6. Occassionally, we would have a customer that was transitioning. Again, they would identify themselves, provide all bio info and often would alert the bank that they were transitioning. No big deal; it was noted and moved on. Any name change would require legal documentation.

So, TL DR the current woke culture has made financial insitutions more aware of being sensitive (i.e MasterCard offering true name cards) BUT with anything financial related, information must be verified even if it may see obtrusive to the customer. Be honest, tell the bank that you are the child of the cardholder. They will want to speak with her; help her learn the basics in understanding that they will want to verify DOB, name, address, last 4 of SSN and mother's maiden name/password and if she gives permission to speak with you. Most banks will allow that, she hands the phone back to you and you take care of business. I have helped my mother do this with Chase, BofA, Capital One and NFCU with no issues (although to be fair, my mother speaks English and Spanish fluently). We also do not make a habit of having to call financial institutions often either. Fibbing can only cause more grief. Maybe not every call but at some point it could cause blocked accounts etc.