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Has a divorce caused anyone a BK

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Anonymous
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Has a divorce caused anyone a BK

So, it's been a 18 months since the separation. But with the lawyer Bills and the child support obligations, it's looking very likely a BK is in my near future. I exhausted all of my savings to try and keep up, but that only lasted for so long. 

Did anyone else have to file after a separation and subsequent CS payments? 

Message 1 of 11
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Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Has a divorce caused anyone a BK

I don't have any solid statistics and haven't really researched it, but I wouldn't be surprised if 1/3 to 1/2 of all bankruptcies involved a divorce. I remember going to my meeting of creditors and a lot of the people indicated that they were going through a divorce.

 

That being said, I decided at a young age that I never wanted to get married or have kids. When half of all marriages in America end in divorce and 70% of marriages are initiated by women, I've been MGTOW before I ever even learned that there was such a thing.

 

Good luck. Filing bankruptcy was one of the best decisions I ever made.

Message 2 of 11
Anonymous
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Re: Has a divorce caused anyone a BK

Thanks for the response, funny you bring MGTOW up. I've been learning about the topic as of late lol. I wont turn this into a MGTOW thread but 2nd marriage divorce rates are staggering. My ex is now remarried.... lol.

 

I just need to take the first step in filing and quit messing around.

Message 3 of 11
Anonymous
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Re: Has a divorce caused anyone a BK

Absolutely yes! A bankruptcy expert once said to Divorce Magazine in an interview that 20% of their clients disclosed to them that a previous divorce/separation was a principal reason for their financial distress. He believed that percentage was, in actuality, even higher. Some people have said that bankruptcy is the final pill to swallow after a divorce.

 

For me, I walked away from my marriage late Summer '17. My divorce was finalized in January '18. 2 years later, I have just filed for divorce. Although there were other factors as well (health issues chief among them) my divorce started me down this inevitable path. I had to borrow money to retain a divorce lawyer in the first place. Heck, I had to borrow money the day I left because I left with my car and the clothes on my back and nowhere to live (I had to live in a hotel for awhile). I didn't get any of the household goods from our marriage either. So, I had to start all over, and that cost me thousands. 

 

That not only put me thousands of dollars in the hole, it planted the seeds of a life where I just figured I'd have to borrow to get anything/everything and I was comfortable with that. In the end I see there was no way I could win living that kind of life. When I left my marriage, I had no savings as my ex-wife handled all of our finances and shut me out, and in fact she emptied our accounts of the $5,000 that was in them on the day I left. I had a 800+ credit score and so borrowing money was easy in those days after I left. But, in the end, I over-leveraged myself and so here I am in 2020 with no choice but to have filed for bankruptcy.

 

If I was still married, I'd still be unhappy. Likely still have a 800+ credit score. No money to my name as my spouse would have it. And a $13k American Express card that I'd likely never use. Doesn't sound like much fun to me.

 

I don't regret how things turned out. A necessary evil to get to a better place in the end. I take ownership for the mistakes I did make (finding out the hard way that you can never borrow your way to success) and I will be better for that experience. But, I would take that divorce again in a heartbeat 100 times in a row. Had to be done.

Message 4 of 11
Anonymous
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Re: Has a divorce caused anyone a BK

Have you thought about after the bk?  Can you get 50/50 custody of your kids?  That eliminates child support.  It's just a suggestion.

Message 5 of 11
soxfaininfl
Frequent Contributor

Re: Has a divorce caused anyone a BK

It doesn't end when you divorce if you have children and if you don't agree what's best for your children  post divorce. I filled for BK 6 years after my divorce from my ex-wife wracking up credit card debt fighting my ex-wife trying to get her to be a good parent on and off for 6 years. Spent almost 40k paying lawyers to fight her to do the right thing for our child. We have 50/50 physical custody. I wish you luck. 









Message 6 of 11
Azuieldrago
Frequent Contributor

Re: Has a divorce caused anyone a BK


@Anonymous wrote:

Have you thought about after the bk?  Can you get 50/50 custody of your kids?  That eliminates child support.  It's just a suggestion.


Not exactly true. I have 50/50 of my eldest and still have to pay child support due to her being on state medical. Depending on the state laws, few things can override your statement. 






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md_rebuild
Regular Contributor

Re: Has a divorce caused anyone a BK

Definitely not true.   Child support is based on income.   I have my kids 50/50 and pay my ex over 2K a month in child support due to the vast differences in our salaries.  And that doesn't include alimony.

 

 

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Message 8 of 11
Azuieldrago
Frequent Contributor

Re: Has a divorce caused anyone a BK


@md_rebuild wrote:

Definitely not true.   Child support is based on income.   I have my kids 50/50 and pay my ex over 2K a month in child support due to the vast differences in our salaries.  And that doesn't include alimony.

 

 


Right. My divorce decree even states no child support but is over ridden due to my earlier statement. State medical, wage gap, medical care can all over ride that.






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Message 9 of 11
Darksyde25
Valued Member

Re: Has a divorce caused anyone a BK

I'm actually going through this currently.  Got married in 2005, been going through a divorce for almost 3 years now.  Should hopefully be done soon.  All I've asked for from the beginning was an amicable divorce.   I should've known better that wasn't going to happen.  It'd been rough to say the least.

I was the one working while my ex got her Bachelors and Masters, racked up student loans (NONE with my name on them thankfully since she has over $150,000), and then decided not to get a job in her field and used the kids as her excuse as to why she 'couldn't' work. 

I had my credit score over 700 after rebuilding years ago, but then everything was going on cards, hers and mine, and since she didn't have any more income it just all snowballed and I couldn't keep up anymore on my income.  I lost my job and that made it all worse.  By this point we now had well over $60k in credit card debt.  We officially stopped paying the credit cards back in 2015.  We were going to file bankruptcy and were in the process of starting that, until we ended up separating, which then divorce started and the bankruptcy got thrown on the back burner.  All my cards have been closed/charged off.  I have like 11 collections account, and like 3 or 4 wage garnishments, but since I pay child support and alimony, that takes a lot of my check so there's been no garnishments for the credit cards. 

I haven't used or had a credit card since 2015.  It's been a massive learning process, I basically have what I get paid and that's all.  My credit scores have pretty much tanked since then, I'm around the mid 500's.  As part of our divorce, the courts are requiring us to file bankruptcy to get rid of all our debts (minus her student loans that she decided to say she used some of that for supplemental income despite my objections, so I had to give up the house, and she would take full responsibility for the loan, instead of throwing like $35k on me.  Which turns out fine since the equity in the home was much less than that).

And of course, I got the vehicle thats 16 years old that we've owned since 2005.  It's about ready to die now, and I can't keep putting money in for repairs so I'm trying to balance a divorce, getting a loan for a vehicle (roughly $24k loan), and then a bankruptcy.  My attorney said I should get the car loan before the bankruptcy because I'd have better odds now than I would post bankruptcy, but I'm more worried something would happen to the vehicle during the bankruptcy process, my attorney says they wouldn't take it. 

So yeah, basically I've been trying to start over for awhile, but this divorce has been draining.  I'm not gettin any younger lol.

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