I never felt so ashamed, depressed and guilty in all my life as I do this day. Cry is just something that I cannot control.
When you're back is up against the wall, layoff's a second one looms on the horizon and a sick gut feeling of being in the street suddenly hit you up side the head you wake up to reality really quick, not that you weren't already.
I read the books, came on these pages, followed all the rules, kept the communication open, never was late on any of my payments and was seeing amounts on loans going down.
Yet money became tighter and suddenly what was my drive to pay off my debt, became, what's more important a roof over your head or having a great credit score and no debt?
The debt I did have was basically loans, Bank of America, what they call, Gold Option accounts where you can't change the interest rate, the payment nothing and your stuck, no matter how much you try to negotiate with them. BOA just won't work with you period.
In all it was $49,000 in loans.
Saturday I filed for bankruptcy. The attorney charged me $2,5000
Have to do homework, financial debt counseling and financial budgeting to receive a certificate
I've gone to 3 others prior to this one. The first two wanted to consolidate and pay them and get into my bank account and did not offer any debt counseling programs. Consumer Credit, shocking as this may sound, did the same thing, wanted to go into my bank account and didn't offer very good advise on keeping me out of debt the ins and outs....
So I went with this one. I didn't want to pay out money to consolidate. I'm drained on one end, depressed on the other.
How does one recover after doing something like this? What other sources can be used besides revolving credit to start my history over especially at my age?
Oh you just made me feel a bit better this morning. I realize I'm not alone on this and feel horribly guilty for doing something that goes against my grain.
Yes I agree, those BOA gold options loans are a boulder and are now a relief that attorneys even say they did wrong and felt that this Bank should have been punished for what they did to consumers.
I won't say good luck, but I will give hugs, this isn't easy for sure and hopefully you and I can start over, only more wiser than to fall for something that wasn't meant to be.
Thought I'd brighten things up.
We were devastated when we filed for CH 13 BK. Felt powerless and used. Really awful. Our BK attorney said it gave him a different perspective and that if we could be there, so could he. Hated the whole process, and I cried.
But, life goes on after BK, and beautifully. Ours was discharged 2/09. Filing was a relief. Discharge was a relief.
Now, we're only 7 months out, but we have been able to rebuild much more quickly than I thought. It's still there - the bk thing. But we are able to move on and things are going very very well. I wish you the very best of luck, and send you the most genuine hugs. Things will be fine and even better.
BK exists for a valid reason - for those who must file, it serves a purpose and provides needed relief. I really like Liz Pulliam Weston's articles on MSN money re: bankruptcy. Also info from her books. Very helpful. Best wishes!
Just keeping up here. I am "not" in bankruptcy just yet. Will be I suppose next month.
Just a little humor here. The bankruptcy attorney's are Pacific Law Center. I feel as if they're the "The Firm" by John Grisham. I say this by the size of the place, the clients they have and how huge they are and how quickly they've grown in the past few months. Not complaining or anything, just saying that their paralegals need a bit of ettiquitte when they speak to you. Especially when you're paying the attorney's a hefty fee of $2,500.
My nerves are frazzled right now and I'm totally sensative. So speaking to me in a diciplinary way as if she is scolding a child, doesn't help out my mood much. It's bad enough my husband had to borrow $4,000 ( from his IRA) to keep us afloat until his work picks up, "IF" it picks up, but it seems most of it went to the attorney for fees.
I'm hoping I can get through this whole ordeal with some dignity intact, it's bad enough to have to go through this indignity, without having to be yelled at like you committed a crime. Anyway...life goes on and I am dealing with it...so hopefull by Monday I'll know when I go to court and this get's finalized.
Compared to how the burgeoning debt was making me sick (literally to the point of breaking out into ugly hives) and the depression, the day I went in and signed the paperwork to begin Ch 13 bankruptcy, I almost IMMEDIATELY felt a sense of relief and peace...and the hives went away that week. It was a rough couple of months between my signing and the actual hearing, but I had been advised that there were no other options at that point. Now, 4 years later, and one year past discharge...I'm on my way back, using my money more wisely than before. I think today with the credit crisis, mortgage fallout, and so much more, bankruptcy is not as much of a pariah as it once had been as so many had been backed into a corner they never once believed they could be found.
Oh...and the credit counseling is required by law now when filing for bankruptcy. I got lucky, I was already going through Crown Financial classes when I filed, and the attorney was able to use that as meeting that requirement.
I hear you music2hisears, when you're back is up against the wall, you have to do what is best for your health, forget the pride, and just think, the stress will be done with and you can re-start only with a much broader mind.
This recession has taught me that nothing is secure these days. You have to be on your toes and keep your eyes open for what is ahead. I'm insecure about the future and what next is around the corner. We're older, retirement was suppose to be something to look forward to, not anymore. Now with this bankruptcy almost out of the way, I hope to rebuild our retirement savings up again and my credit history down the road, being much wiser than I was.
At least I feel better thank to most of you who have helped me get through these trying times right now.
Of course you feel bad. You are an honest person who had something bad happen to them. Believe me, honey, it has happened to many of us, me included. I filed in March and was discharged in July 2009 so I am only months out. Before filing, I called each of my creditors and tried my best to work it out with them but they were not interested in that. Over 10 months, I paid $800 monthly for credit card debt that continued to climb. As a matter of fact, during the time I was struggling to pay, I was getting letters from my creditors saying they were increasing my interest rate....this is when I said ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and I went to an attorney on Monday and filed that Friday. Now, I can sleep at night because I know I tried my best as I am sure that you did. The only thing that makes me mad is that I wish I had my $8000 which I paid over 10 months in my bank account because those (cant say the word b/c it's bad) did not appreciate my efforts. You will be fine. It is a very sobering experience but you will get through it...trust me on that. Come to this board and the posters here will help you tremendously.
Take care and keep ya' head up))
Well spent half the day at the lawyers yesterday. His paralegal didn't help me out much by demanding things. My emotions are so upfront...I maintained, yet I wanted to scream just get it over with. I made it to the lawyer, he was a bit gentle and I felt better. He told me to change banks just in case. I did that yesterday. Yet when I got home I just had to close the door and let it all out, punch my pillows and just cry like a silly fool.
It's almost to the end...now...I may be done with this the first week of October.
I just feel angry, all that money, all the stress, all the worrying, loss nights of sleep...for nothing to end up like this. I guess I am not taking this too good. On top of it all, husband is not working hardly at all and that isn't helping out. If I could just calm down and think and get organized, I'd go out and try to find some work to keep my mind of this mess. But right now I am a train wreck. At 63 that's not good.
BOA called yesterday with their honcho's demading the payment and threatening...I just politely gave the number and attorney name and hung up. Yelling won't get no where with these crooks. So why waste energy really.
ER_Tech I am looking forward to that day of rest. I sure could use it. Yea I am like you, all that money given to morons who cared less how we survived as long as they got what they wanted. You're right...they don't appreciate the efforts for sure.
It's hard and it's so demoralizing doing this when you've been on time, no late payments at all, paid almost all your debt, saw results, done what you could to follow My fico steps given here. Still end up on the short end of the stick because there is no money to continue the facade or what's more important right now maintaining a fico score or being in the street. ( no offense to fico )
I do appreciate all of you helping me right now...It helps believe me.
My husband is 58 years old, had never missed a single payment in his entire life. His credit scores were 780 - 802. We had some money stolen from us from one of our residential construction companies (a partner). We tried, in vain, to save the company by taking an owner's distribution from one company to put into the other. Then Katrina hit and we couldn't get supplies, prices skyrocketed on materials, and we were locked into five custom half-million dollar contracts. It was a nightmare. We did everything we could to save the companies and pay our creditors. In the end, we were only short by $50k (which isn't much when you owe $800k). A short term loan would have pulled us through. But the bank declared that with the market turning, it wasn't worth the risk.
So we filed a Chapter 7. We moved from the small town we lived in and sold our home (to use the equity to pay some of the smaller subcontractors that had families to feed). My husband was mortified and depressed. It took a good year for him to rise out of his funk.
Now we are buying our first post-bankruptcy house. We have decent jobs, and a good life. I admit that bankruptcy was one of the most difficult things we did, as the guilt was almost too much to bear at times. But bad things happen to good people.
Hopefully you will rise out of this with a new perspective, and stronger than ever before.