a month later...
I fell off the wagon as soon as I won and went back into debt for gambling. But only up to $3000 which will be paid by a $3000 CD that matures next week. I may enter an inpatient gambling treatment program again-this time in Ohio. I also bought some more coins and owe $1200 on another card. That will be paid tomorrow when my VA check hits the bank. I wiped out my savings again. The merry-go-round of a gambling and spending addict continues.
I thought about taking $500 to the casino today when an interesting thing occurred. My long standing $108,000 debt-an old gambling/spending spree that led to last year's and this year's gambling/spending spree was met with a surprise today. Before I hit the big jackpot I was facing bankruptcy and wrote a letter to my stepmother telling her to make the payments or she would lose her house. There was no way I could make $2000/month combined payments on the credit cards and home equity line. When I hit the threat temporarily wore off and I made this month's payment. I checked the account today to see what next month's payment would be and to my surprise a second payment was made on the due date: 2/24. My stepmother made the payment! It took her over 10 years to make a payment on the loan I took out for her, but I ran up most of the debt. Now I will set money aside in the account to make sure it's paid on time. I don't trust her and she obviously shouldn't trust me. Worst case scenario is that two payments will be made per month. If she makes the payment I will set my amount aside as savings. The checking account is joint. I am the primary borrower on the home equity line. My stepmother is cosigner and her condo is collateral.
My reason for my gambling "relapse" was my feeling of hopelessness regarding the loan. Now that my stepmother is making at least the initial payment gives me hope that this debt will be manageable. I won't have to gamble over it anymore. There were other reasons why I gambled-loneliness, depression, despair, etc. Now I need to improve my health and get ready to move back to Oregon at the end of May. Arizona has been a disaster. The weather is nice and so is my house rental but I wasn't ready for the old folks town of Sun City West. Also, my family relationships are toast. I came here to help my mother and build a life for myself. Mom and I are history and with the exception of a church music gig and a lady I met it's been a lost year. I turn 56 next week. 55 was a bummer.
My scores have slowly rebounded. I went on a wild app spree from Nov-January and ran up a 35% Utilization on my cards. My scores went from 720 to 685. Now they're in the 690's again but utilization is still reporting 18%. It's down to 5%. I should be at 0% by the end of March. I'm getting preapprovals again but must refrain from applying for new credit. 76K CL plus AMEX PRG is more than enough on six cards. I closed two as soon as I opened them. I was rejected for Venture (my last app on 1/4/2017) and PenFed. During my app spree I got CSR, Amazon Store (closed it) and Citi Diamond (closed it). I met with the bankruptcy lawyer in mid-January who told me to stop using my cards, make minimum payments on the $28,000 debt and stop paying the home equity line. When I hit the jackpot I went back to my old habit of charging and paying it off as soon as I used the card. Then I started gambling again but stopped when I hit the CD amount with my cash advance card (Navy Federal Cash Rewards). NFCU treats casino cash advances like regular spending and it got me in trouble. Getting credit was just too easy.
I have returned to Gamblers Anonymous and will just have to get in the trenches and fight this thing again. I had 8 years clean once (94-02) and two years (14-16) before this latest 4-month relapse. My health and finances have deeply suffered. But now there's hope since my stepmother is apparently paying. I wish she didn't have to but it's for the sake of keeping her house-and my credit.
Thanks for reading and take care.
