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+1000 ^^
Wow, kinda sad that there's so little trust there. (And perhaps deservedly so; I'm not trying to bash you or her; I'm just sad to read this.) Anyway, if you're going to try to help her this way, good for you.
Tell her that she doesn't get to use the account, and have her acknowledge this.
Check your CC account daily.
If you find that she uses it without your knowledge and permission, even once, cancel it then and there.
And then I'd say you'll have to cut her loose, at least in the credit-building area. (I'm not saying divorce her! --just let her rebuild her credit herself.) Spouses/ partners need to be able to trust one another. We've all screwed up on something in the past and are deserving of forgiveness by the other, but if we abuse the other's trust, it's a relationship-killer IMO.
Hope it works out for both of you!
I checked with USAA and they said I would be the only one with access to the account. Even so, I am not sure I would be doing her any favors. I mentioned that I was going to add her and that she should get a slight increase in her score from it and withing 2 minutes she was already talking about apping for a credit card of her own so she could charge to it. I think I will just let her rebuild on her own and keep our finances 100% seperate.
I have multiple people listed on my AMEX cards as an AU. None of them have a card, or have access to my account. It was done to simply help their scores.
@bcdudley wrote:I checked with USAA and they said I would be the only one with access to the account. Even so, I am not sure I would be doing her any favors. I mentioned that I was going to add her and that she should get a slight increase in her score from it and withing 2 minutes she was already talking about apping for a credit card of her own so she could charge to it. I think I will just let her rebuild on her own and keep our finances 100% seperate.
Yikes. It does sound like she needs to do it the tough way, doesn't it?
I think you've got the right idea.
I think you made the right decision because it was hard.
Givining someone unwilling to manage credit the chance to do more harm is foolish. Maybe a time will come when she's serious about fixing it. I had the ex as an AU when married.... she tried raising the limit to bail her BF out of jail, LOL! "Live and learn", I guess.
Maybe a hybrid approach. Once she demonstrates that she's on the road to responsibly rebuilding for a given amount of time, you can revisit the idea of adding her as an AU then. She'll still instantly pick up all the good history from your account at that time and get some score boost. And you'll already know that she's turned a corner financially.
@bcdudley wrote:Can I add my wife as an AU to my credit cards and be 100% sure that she has no way of using them. I want to help her increase her score, but she is horrible with money and is very deserving of her 490 credit score. She is one of the people that believes if she has checks, she has money. She actually got a $300 secured card to try to help, then maxed it out and never paid a penny of it.
I have tried to teach her how to manage her money better, but it just hasn't worked. What I would like to do is help her for future purchases we make together, but I don't want it to come back and hurt me.
Amex allows you to make someone an AU, and you can go online and "Freeze activity on this Additional Card" or set a spending limit -- the minimum limit is $200.
@drkaje wrote:I think you made the right decision because it was hard.
Givining someone unwilling to manage credit the chance to do more harm is foolish. Maybe a time will come when she's serious about fixing it. I had the ex as an AU when married.... she tried raising the limit to bail her BF out of jail, LOL! "Live and learn", I guess.
lol, indeed. I'm sorry, I'm sure it wasn't funny then, but it sounds like you've gotten past it!
could always add her and not tell her