@nuohlac wrote:
@sammydavidjr wrote:
@nuohlac wrote:I personally have found that vending machine and gas station swipes seem to keep everyone happy. Another strategy I use is my monthly abusing of the self checkout lanes. I will pay for each item I have with a different card. These methods make it a lot easier on you to get it done quickly and remember you have done it.
I'm sure folks waiting in line behind you are thrilled
@sammydavidjr I work second shift with Monday & Tuesday off. I do not encounter many crowds at all and majority of the world has no clue I exist. So luckily I am not in a position that makes me that guy!
When I want dirty looks, I get out my old paper checkbook in the regular cashier lane. Write veeerrryyyyy slowly, ask what the date is, crease the check carefully and wet my fingers before gently tearing it loose. Then wait for the cashier to ask for my driver's license which takes another minute or two as I get my wallet out. 
It's best when you have a friend discretely video it and put in on YouTube. 
@Aim_High wrote:
@nuohlac wrote:
@sammydavidjr wrote:
@nuohlac wrote:I personally have found that vending machine and gas station swipes seem to keep everyone happy. Another strategy I use is my monthly abusing of the self checkout lanes. I will pay for each item I have with a different card. These methods make it a lot easier on you to get it done quickly and remember you have done it.
I'm sure folks waiting in line behind you are thrilled
@sammydavidjr I work second shift with Monday & Tuesday off. I do not encounter many crowds at all and majority of the world has no clue I exist. So luckily I am not in a position that makes me that guy!
When I want dirty looks, I get out my old paper checkbook in the regular cashier lane. Write veeerrryyyyy slowly, ask what the date is, crease the check carefully and wet my fingers before gently tearing it loose. Then wait for the cashier to ask for my driver's license which takes another minute or two as I get my wallet out.
Back in olden times...
...before I started using Instacart...
...before COVID...
...before getting a local Sprouts (younger and more active customer base)...
...when I needed something I couldn't get at Costco...
I would go to a local Vons. And I would spend a lot of time in line behind old people.
The checks never bothered me. They were slow but steady. Older shoppers knew how they worked. Very little could really go wrong.
If you want to irritate people, use a debit card with no money on it, or enter the wrong PIN. Do that with a few cards. Insert your card so the chip is sticking out or upside down. Then after someone shows you the correct way to insert it, pull it out before the transaction is complete.
And if you really want to take it to the next level, act like you're trying to use mobile pay while having no idea how your phone works. I'm not sure how common it is for old people to rush to buy the latest smartphones when they can barely make a phone call with their current one, but it's a very common trait in my extended family.