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Oh my goodness ~ what do you say ...

jason86423
Frequent Contributor

Re: Oh my goodness ~ what do you say ...

I have done the same thing with my son who is 17.  I did take the time to discuss with him first of what I was doing, plus since our nearest relative is 600 plus mile away I wanted to give him instant access to emergency funds.

 

I've driven into him how important it is to have a good FICO score and the steps he needs to take once he is out on his own to keep it.

 

When he got his drivers license, for kicks and grins (and with him sitting right there to agree)  I asked AAA to run his insurance score.  The agent laughed and said oh, he doesn't have one.  I laughed back and said I bet he does.   You should have seen the look on his eyes.  He goes, well, your son's score is a bit HIGHER than yours.  Would you like to use that score to figure your insurance discount?  I let my son decide since it was "his score" that would be used.  All in all a 17 year old with a 780 insurance score is a great start!  The agent did tell me that AAA in Michigan uses EX for insurance scoring.

 

In the end, I think that it is important for a discussion with the child on what your intent is and gain their permission.  Especially in today's society.

 

All in all IME it has gone well. My son has a 9 year old credit history and carries only a very small balance each month.  And the best is that  with him being an AU on my Amex he will have a nice member since 2002 on his first approved card with them. 

 

 

Message 11 of 39
Cloudlb
Regular Contributor

Re: Oh my goodness ~ what do you say ...

I know you meant well, but honestly, I'd be upset too.  the problem is you were high-handed and didn't discuss your actions with your daughter beforehand, to explain the benefits.  Now she's mad, and you have lost the opportunity to educate her about her credit. It's doubtful if she will ever listen to you on the subject.  It's an unfortunate consequence of your well-meaning but poorly thought out gesture. 

 

at least you tried--it's more than my parents ever did.

Message 12 of 39
trumpet-205
Valued Contributor

Re: Oh my goodness ~ what do you say ...

When I first started on building my credit history, my parents refused to give me a jump start in any possible way. This includes adding me as an AU or lending me money for secured credit card. I basically start with thin files to short credit history now (10 months). My dad did eventually agreed to add me to one of his AU, but that's only after I have obtained my first CC.

 

While your intention are good, you did not discussed with your daughter prior hand. Honestly, I feel I learned more about credit history on my own rather than having my parents giving me a jump start.

Message 13 of 39
MrGoat
New Contributor

Re: Oh my goodness ~ what do you say ...

"What would you do?  Remove from AU?  or keep as is?  What do you think?  May I have your opinion?  Thanks."

 ==============================

Drop her.

 

I'll say this, I wish Id have had a parent like you way back when.

Id help my daughter out in a heartbeat by adding her as an AU if it werent for the irresponsible arse she married.

EQ FICO 735 as of June 17, 2011
EX FAKO 767 as of April 3rd, 2012
Citibank($10,000@10.74%) Discover($5000) CapitolOne($4500)
USBank($3000) AMEX($2000) BOA($2000) NRAVISA($4000)
ChaseVisa($500)
Message 14 of 39
Rebuild2022
Super Contributor

Re: Oh my goodness ~ what do you say ...

If it makes you feel any better, my 18 year old daughter says the same thing about being AU on my cards.

Gardening since 08/2020
Message 15 of 39
ptr2593
Valued Contributor

Re: Oh my goodness ~ what do you say ...

I agree with the others.  OP, you were wrong to do this without her permission, even if you were good intentioned.  

 

Anyone know if this it's illegal for parents to use their children's SSN without permission?  I'm sure an adult child, if so inclined, could press charges against their parent.

In My Wallet:
AMEX BCE, Citi Forward, Chase Freedom

In My Sockdrawer:
AMEX Clear, Citi Platinum Select, US Bank Platinum, J.Crew
Message 16 of 39
clocktick
Valued Contributor

Re: Oh my goodness ~ what do you say ...

Not every card requires a ss# for someone to be added as an AU.

11/30/08 TU 648 EX 672 EQ 656 SEPT 2014 TU 787 EX 789 EQ ???
Amex BCP $24.1K/Clear $8.5- Sallie Mae $27.5 -Cap One QS $7.5 - Chase Freedom $7.5/United $5k/CSP $20k/Ink- Citi DP $9.5/Dividend $13k/HHHx2 $15k/16.4/Reserve $4.5k Best Buy $1940 HD $1701- Discover IT $15k - Elan $8k GEMB Lowes $20k - Macy's $2k - Kohl's $800




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Current Score: 736
Goal Score: 765


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Message 17 of 39
tpatterson2k9
Regular Contributor

Re: Oh my goodness ~ what do you say ...

Slightly off topic, but what does everyone think about adding a 13 year old child as an AU after explaining the rationale behind it?  I believe 13 is the youngest age someone can be added as an AU, but do you think someone this young has the ability to understand the importance of responsible credit use and how important credit scores are?  I applied for an Amex card for the backdating so I can eventually add my future children (long ways away from that) to the card at 13 so they have a great CC history by the time they go to college and apply for their own student loans.  Is 13 too young if everything is explained to them as best as possible?


Starting Scores (lender pull 3/27/10): 759 (EQ), 752 (TU), 749 (EX)
Current Scores (myFICO 4/4/11): 768 (EQ)
Goal Scores: 800


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Message 18 of 39
bunnyrabbit
Valued Contributor

Re: Oh my goodness ~ what do you say ...


@LilMirth wrote:

@llecs wrote:

I'd remove and apologize. IMO, if a family member did that to me I'd be upset. While the intent was well, I would be upset because someone would be messing with my credit even if it was for good. For me, I'd rather accomplish a high score on my own vs. having someone artifically inflate it for me. I'd also be worried that the family member could default leaving me with a bad TL to get rid of, or even a balance left on it monthly which I'd have no control over. Now most of us know and understand credit. There might be 20 other misconceptions on her mind which play into this as well.


+1

 

I'd only add that I'd also explain to her that you didn't use her social security number (just her name), as the cards never belonged to her. That you are solely responsible for the cards-- she was never a joint owner, just an authorized user of one of YOUR cards.


yes, I did explained it to her.  She just doesn't listen ...

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It's very tough with small income ~ The Rewards are big little helper to me.
Message 19 of 39
bunnyrabbit
Valued Contributor

Re: Oh my goodness ~ what do you say ...


@Deportation's wrote:

Slightly off topic, but what does everyone think about adding a 13 year old child as an AU after explaining the rationale behind it?  I believe 13 is the youngest age someone can be added as an AU, but do you think someone this young has the ability to understand the importance of responsible credit use and how important credit scores are?  I applied for an Ames card for the backdating so I can eventually add my future children (long ways away from that) to the card At 13 So they have a great CC history by the time they go to college and apply for their own student loans.  Is 13 too young if everything is explained to them as best as possible?


Hi toothpaste ... just to let you know that Amex requires minimum age of 15 to add as AU.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's very tough with small income ~ The Rewards are big little helper to me.
Message 20 of 39
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