Getting Married - This seems so unfair

[Anonymous]

I'm a little confused... you knew all this and still agreed to marry her, right?? So, what I would be more peeved about, if I were  you, is that she's spending her/your money right now to pay for what will probably be a fab-o wedding, when she could be doing things like creating her own flower arrangements, having a smaller reception, etc etc, and directing some of the wedding planning money towards tightening up her scores before you both say "I do."

I mean, if you're both really in it to win it.. It would be smarter to spend wedding money -- and this includes the major cash you all will get as wedding/shower gifts, which having had two weddings myself is usually a LOOOT! -- on her personal debts. There's still plenty of time to clean up her scores before your FICOs are married, man! Just refocus for the next few months!

And instead of "ignoring" your score to improve hers, make her sorry butt get a second job, or cut some extravagances in the budget together so you don't start mismanaging your money, or ignoring Peter (your creditors) to pay Paul (her creditors)!

[Anonymous]

Wedding08:

Loans with 10 payments or less DO NOT count towards your DTI. If you are overly concerned about her scores, just pay it down to 10 monthly installment payments or less due to pay off the loan and that problem is solved.

Good Luck!

[Anonymous]

Have you considered FHA?  The credit requirements are less stringent, and the interest rates tend to be extremely favorable.  Seems that would solve both problems.  In many cases, you would be pretty hard pressed to find rates that are lower even with your excellent credit.  And the down payment could be as little as 3%.  As far as the hit for paying off the car, its temporary.  Take it since it will lower your DTI and in this current environment, that is always a good move.

If you qualify, this could be a win/win for the both of you.  I agree with the other posters, don't do anything to jepordize your credit situation.  The system is rigged against the average person, but the knowledge you can gleam from this site will make you above average. 

[Anonymous]

You have plenty of time to pay down both of your debts and save for a sizeable downpayment.  The reason why paying off an installment loan (car) may be detrimental to a credit score is because creditors want to see some kind of debt.  In other words, it won't help your credit score to purchase a car and then pay it off in 6 months.  Creditors want to see sustained payments on installment loans.  Credit card balances are another animal entirely -- the sooner you can pay down your credit card balances, the better.  And you don't want to keep them at zero.  I think someone here suggested that 1-9% utilization rate gets you the best scores.  Her rates will jump overnight just by paying off her credit cards.  You've got plenty of time to clean up her debt and increase both of your scores before you buy the house -- as long as you don't jump into new debt.

There are some undercurrents in your posts, however.  You said you "took over" her payments and she hasn't missed one lately.  How do you "take over" someone else's payments and then have them be responsible for it.  I'm only saying this because, as a grandmother, I can tell you that the number 1 reason people get divorced is money issues.  Have the two of you come to some sort of agreement whereby you handle the money and, if so, are you 100% sure she doesn't resent you for this?  Resentment over money breeds anger breeds divorce.

Finally, please take a bit of advice from someone who knows something about the world:  make sure you protect your current assets.  I know you want to help your fiance and you're all in love, etc., etc., but if you have substantial more assets than she does, maybe you should have a prenup?  And, for goodness sakes, check your credit report every month from now until you buy a home.  You don't want anything unpleasant popping up.

[Anonymous]

The irony is that your response to the issue proves their point. You are willing to make bad decisions and pay your creditors late in order to try and buy a house that you currently might not qualify to buy. Just think about that, you are going to lower your credit score. Thats why they score you in a certain way because they are expecting you to end up lowering your credit score in the long run closer to your spouses! So you are doing exactly what you are upset that they are predicting you will do. 

Thats too funny if you think about it.

 Truly, I don't know if I have seen this advice any where in the responses, but the best advice is to just wait. Don't buy a house. Wait. Continue to pay your bills on time, and work out a payment plan and budget to start working on your spouses credit. Patience. Before you make a major commitment to a house, do your best to save an emergency fund, then save up a very good down payment and work on the credit. 

Because right now, you run the risk of ending up in a situation that you will regret. Take some time be patient. You are in control of what you do. You have an opportunity to start off your marriage and make slow and wise financial decisions. What you do now can affect the future path of your marriage and fiscal situation. 

So many people buy a home too quickly and then regret it a few years later. If you are patient and wait you will appreciate it. In fact, if you do it correctly, you won't even realize the stress and difficulty you have avoided.  

If your answer to the situation is to pay your bills late...thats the first warning sign that you are about to do something thats over your financial head. Noone wants to hear this, but when you buy a home, you don't want it to be a stretch. You want it to be comfortable. You want to have room to spare. That usually means you have to wait until your financial picture is much better.

There is nothing worse then being newly married and not able to enjoy your day to day life because money is so tight. That beautiful home can soon become a heavy burden that is stopping you from enjoying life. Save, pay down bills and work on the credit.

You will be happy that you did.  

[moneywiser]

This is one of the best advices and there is a lot of great advice here. Just wait. Be patient. Did you hear? Be patient. It's hard but it will make all the difference in the world, your marriage and your future. And I have to tell you, before I got married I had great credit. Got married, tried to help him fix his credit and then life happened and my credit was effected. Then he wrecked his again. And I am now getting my credit back to how it was. I wanted a house so badly after we were married a year. Had the down payment. No problem. Did not have enough for emergencies. Problem. I should've been more patient. And we should've talked about it more. But didn't. This was 11 years ago.Babies, college for my older daughter, etc comes after you get married. Look at the big picture. Now we our learning how to freakin suffer and it sucks. Be patient my friend.

[Anonymous]

Have you tried to remove any of the lates on her report? Good Will letters might help. If there are closed accounts that are hurting, can they be disputed?

[LisaJ]

I have been there.  In my case, my new husband had some bad debt because his ex-wife defaulted on everything she got to keep and the CRAs don't recognize divorce decrees.  I had to qualify completely by mysef, and I can tell you, it was stressful. However, I think that it should go by the mid score of the lower person--banks take a big risk, especially these day, and marrying a good score doesn't mean you are going to suddenly have great credit habits.

Here is what I would do if I were you:

1) Do your best to goodwill, dispute (legitimate disputing), and pay down the debt as much as you can.

2) Spend some of the wedding money on paying down bills.  The previous poster is dead on--my score rose significantly--by 15 points--when I paid  my bills off just prior to getting my mortgage.  We did our own flowers and saved hundreds. There are ways to have a beautiful wedding and still be able to start a new life together.

3) Look into FHA.  My mid score was less than hers and while the rates have been higher than conventional, they have still been good over the last few months. It seems like it is easier to qualify for FHA.   

4) FInd a loan officer you can trust and have them look at scenarios for you.  You would be surprised what you can qualify for. I was shocked that I was able to get the mortgage in just my name, and with a conservative underwriter, too!

The wonderful people on this forum have great advice.   Lurk, share, listen, ask questions and learn. 

Best of luck to you.   

[Anonymous]

Here's a thought.  Why don't you actually wait until you can afford what you want?  So many people today want what they want when they want it.  Quit whining and get on a written budget, quit eating out, do without, etc.  Take your intensity and pay off the car, set aside an emergency fund, save money for a real downpayment, and then in awhile, you will be able to afford what you want and your credit will be fabulous. Yes, the easy credit has done everyone a disfavor.  But let's get with the program and do things in the right order.

[fishbjc]

680 won't be such a big problem if you put down a chunk as a downpayment,,,she'll get the best rate.  Forget the wedding & put that toward a downpayment.

FHA may be the way to go here and 680 is a great score and you can put down 3.5% or a little more. 

OP:  I agree with you about paying off the auto loan.  Congratulations on your upcoming marriage!