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Is it just me?


Is it just me?

I'm just wondering if anyone else finds themselves having the same thoughts that I am on becoming a homeowner?

In my case we wont be looking to purchase until sometime next year and although I want nothing more than a home to call my own and the back yard for my kids and dogs to play in, I find that in my mind I keep driving myself crazy with the "What Ifs"  What if my husband gets laid off?  What if one of our autos break down and we need a new one? What if something horrible happens and we can't afford the payment anymore? 30 years is such a long time too have to be committed to paying on something! 

I know that this is a downfall to me, personally... I tend to over think everything, but at the same time I think it helps me to be prepared.


Has anyone else experienced these thoughts before buying? Is it normal, like the getting cold feet before you get married kind of thing?

Message 1 of 13
Regular Contributor

Re: Is it just me?

Oh no it isn't just you I have lots of what if's too...


What if I buy the wrong house for us (we're nervous to buy something newer or older)

What if my daughter doesn't like the new school she has to go to Smiley Sad

What if our payments are more than we can handle in the long run

What if we don't buy a house with enough space, or too much space

What if we have to fix about a gajillion things after moving in

What if ...What if...What if.... I have a long list too Smiley Sad I bet most of us do.

9/1/2012 ...DRUMROLL .... EQ .. 776!!

I'm FINALLY a homeowner .. 10/24/12!!!!

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Message 2 of 13
Established Member

Re: Is it just me?

We have been paying about the same amount for rent for 6 or 7 years. Our new mortgage is about the same, no reason to believe what we've managed to do for a long period of time can't be kept up.


The home we purchased was a light fixer in a great area. We came in over budget by a few thousand, but still have plenty of cash reserves for now.


The only real suprises we have had have been postive. A really nice neighboor. Electric bill cut by a third (much more modern home then last rental). Systems that the inspector decalred dead, were actually just fine...


Think positive, it's hard to I was a wreck. But the stress is so worth it. 

Message 3 of 13
Established Contributor

Re: Is it just me?

No I thought all that too.


At the end of last year I had about 5-6k left on my car and was going to rev up my payments and use my tax refund to pay it off completly in preparation for this mortgage.


On 12/14/11 I totaled it.


To this day there is still a open case with my insurance because I was considered at fault and her damages amount was more than my coverage so they are still negotiating. She could potentially come after me and any assets I have....


So I ended up in another car with another car note. But its cheaper. And a better, bigger car (I wanted a little SUV for my dog to be able to fit in better than the sedan). I negotiated the crap out of the price. I got a great deal. Where as the last car I had, I overpayed. I hated that part of it. But in the end it was the best thing that happened.


Every house I found either looked like it was the scene of a murder or had too many structural damages. I also got off track and ended up in a different area than what I originally wanted. I wanted a single family home and found myself in condos.


But I am about to close on my house this Monday. Its off the exact street in the exact area I originally wanted to live. It has everything on my wish list (garage, basement, fenced yard, 2 bedrooms, 2 full baths, walk in closets), and the only thing its missing (garden tub and seperate shower) I can knock out the wall in the master bath and put it in the closet on the other side in the future if I want.


Stay focused on what you want. If you"what if" a situation to death, you will be miserable. You will never get a house. You would also never get married, have kids, start a new job, buy a used car, etc.... sometimes you gotta just jump and build your wings on the way down Smiley Happy

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Message 4 of 13

Re: Is it just me?

I agree with the above.  I've found out in life all the " what if's"  get nothing accomplished.  No one can predict the future, and that by no means just throw caution into the wind, but it means that you have to take risk in life that are IMPORTANT to you an your family. You are now in a position to do that, if you fall then you pick yourself up and try again until you accomplish your goal. Sounds easy, but it is not...............BUT if you believe it can happen it will happen.  Leave the "what ifs" by the side and take the risk, I think you will find it is more than worth it.



Message 5 of 13
Frequent Contributor

Re: Is it just me?

How about.......


What if I find a perfect home?

What if my husband and I are able to pay 10% year down in principle?

What if I get payments around the same amount my rent is per month?

What if we have an emergency fund set aside for just in case?

What if I have sacrificed for so long we deserve this beautiful home?


We all have self doubt but from this point on I am going to be just as courageous as you are?

Fico September 2012; TU 681, EX 674, EQ 652
Fako October 2012: TU 706, EX 641,
Message 6 of 13
Regular Contributor

Re: Is it just me?

I think such anxiety is a normal consequence of making major life decisions.  So?

Message 7 of 13

Re: Is it just me?

So... I think I'm going to continue to drive myself and my husband crazy with the what if's until we actually purchase next year. And I think I'm probably going to go back and forth on the issue of buying or just keeping our current home a million times. But when it's all said and done, I think we will be proud new homeowners with no regret because yes, we do deserve it.


I guess everything I'm thinking and worrying about is perfectly normal and I just have to keep telling myself that we have always managed to handle whatever life had to throw at us before, so no reason to think we wouldn't be able to handle it in the future.


I know that I am going into this situation much more prepared and informed than I was before I found this forum.

So for that, I thank all of you.

Message 8 of 13
Established Contributor

Re: Is it just me?

It isn't just you and, for some people, is a perfectly normal response. I am a major worrier.  I worry that I moved too quickly and didn't consider enough options. I worry that I will get laid off (my job is the ONLY thing keeping me in the area). I worry that my kids have to learn to drive in a difficult area. Thinking about how old I will be in 30 years, REALLY worries me!  Here's the thing I've learned, though: I give myself 3 minutes to worry about it.  When I start to feel all the anxiety come up, I look at the clock, allow myself to dwell for 3 minutes, then I have to move on.


I just bought a plaque that says "Don't let yesterday use up too much of today" (Will Rogers).  Same thing about tomorrow. Smiley Happy

Starting Score: 10/1/2011 EQ 568 TU 593
Current Score: EQ 664 TU 700 EX 701 (FAKO)

Message 9 of 13
Moderator Emeritus

Re: Is it just me?

I think that the what ifs are a very important part of buying a home.

I went through them in 2008 with my first home, which ended up being a duplex. I was looking at single family homes and I kept thinking, what if I lose my job, how will I pay for this house. I finally decided that a duplex was the right answer, since I can collect rent on the side I wasn't living in.

Well guess what life happened! My ex husband let his truck get repoed and I was on the note. The lender got a default judgment against me for the deficiency balance and started garnishing my wages to the tune of 1100 per month. At that time I was making only 45k per year, so 1100 per month was a really big chunk out of my income.

It was a struggle paying the note on the house but I was able to do it without ever falling behind or paying late past the grace period. The garnishment lasted from september 2008 until march 2009. After that, I switched jobs and was able to settle for half of what was still owed.

If not for listening to the "what ifs" I'd be in a lot worse shape and maybe I would have lost my home.

Recently I purchased a single family home. Again, same what ifs going through my head. What if the renters of the duplex don't pay and what if both of my rental unts sit vacant.

I decided to go with a house that was wayyy below what I was approved for. The front end ratio being about 17% based on just my salary and rental income which is about 121k per year. My husband makes 65k per year and his income was not used on the application. We went with a 20 year house note.

Anyways, I sleep really well at night knowing that we will be just fine even if I lose my job. Because having two mortgages is somewhat scary, we went ahead and paid off two of our three vehicles with my bonus.. His truck was purchased in 2011 and my car was purchased in 2009. So now we are down to 1 car note, 1 student loan payment, and 2 mortgages Smiley Happy

We have no plans to replace the cars until my daughter starts driving, and I want to put her in the car I bought in 2009, its a volvo very safe!

I don't think you should let the what ifs take over your life, just use them as a tool that is telling you to try to reduce your risk exposure as best you can while still giving yourself and your family what you need.

Good luck and god bless!

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Message 10 of 13