Separated, not divorced. Divorce isn't happening anytime soon for a plethora of reasons. My state does not recognize a separation agreement signed in a state that does, so child support won't count in my DTI. I'm also hearing that the promissory note that I have for him to purchase my half of the marital home (in another state) will not count in my DTI. This all seems grossly unfair to me, that the state is essentially forcing me into a divorce or won't count my complete income.
Could I convert the agreements/note to "rental agreement" for the same amount and have it count? Neither of us cares what the paper says, to be honest, just so I receive the money every month (which I do) and can include it in the DTI.
You are between a rock and a hard place.
In order to buy while you are still married (you are still married until you receive a divorce), then you will need to qualify based on your income alone without the child support and the pending buyout of your property. Why don't you wait until your husband (he's not your ex yet) completes the buyout of your home? Is it a short term or long term agreement to purchase?
Have you checked to see if your husband will have to sign off on the mortgage too? Usually, in states that don't recognize the separation agreement, your spouse has to sign off on the mortgage even if they are not on the loan. You will need to verify with the underwriter or loan officer that you plan to use. I know its applicable here (Fl). So check the criteria in your state.
Last question, if you are truly planning to get a divorce, then what is holding you back? You don't have to answer it here, but you need to answer it for your own satisfaction and most likely the underwriter's too.
Thank you for your reply. You are right about the rock and the hard place.
I don't mind answering b/c there might be someone else out there dealing with the same, but my estranged husband is mentally ill. There is a religion element ("in sickness and in health") as well as the simple challenge of getting him to face his fears and go out and sign something. I also have a child who is not in a mature enough stage to deal with that concept yet (even though we've lived apart for nearly 3 years). There are ill, elderly grandparents in the mix as well. It's a mess.
The buyout on the marital home is over 15 years, so there's no way to hurry that along. He can't qualify for a refi at this point. I am to the point where I need to provide a stable home for my children and need to quit shelling out big $$$ for rent.
I'm thinking my best bet is to get that mortgage paid off so it doesn't count against DTI anymore and hope that USDA will allow a DTI waiver for my income alone. I need 29/43 to qualify for the house I'm looking to build and have strong compensating factors (like, my housing payment would go DOWN by $300/mo)