@Remedios wrote:OP is hardly the only one proselytizing here
Entire series of Judge Judy had less judgements than this thread
Well this is a safe place for doing that.
1. We're here because we're interested in this stuff (as opposed to most everyone else I know)
2. OP was asking for advice, so we gave it.
@SouthJamaica wrote:
@Remedios wrote:OP is hardly the only one proselytizing here
Entire series of Judge Judy had less judgements than this thread
Well this is a safe place for doing that.
1. We're here because we're interested in this stuff (as opposed to most everyone else I know)
2. OP was asking for advice, so we gave it.
Funny you'd say that to me considering you said it pretty much yourself right here "7. Don't brag about it, (a) because it's not nice to brag and (b) because you are but a single misfortune away from being less "financially sound".
At least this time red font was not used, so I'll consider that a progress.
Have a great day 
@iced wrote:
@Brian_Earl_Spilner wrote:I stay intentionally vague when money comes up. It's a little tough because I was known in the family for having money and good credit. I wasn't rich by any means, but compared to everyone else in the family, I was Scrooge McDuck. When they come around asking about my finances, I know it's just a matter of time before they hit me up for money. I just play dumb and say my accountant handles it (I don't have one) and I can give them their number if they need help. Conversation usually ends there.
This gets very difficult when the disparity becomes large. My SO and I try to intentionally avoid numbers and be vague about finances around family, and with her side of the family it works well. They're all also in a the same ballpark financially and things we do spend money on (and more importantly, how much we spend on them) don't raise any red flags. With my side of the family, this becomes nearly impossible because it creates awkward moments even doing little things like taking them out to dinner, and sometimes we intentionally falsify our situation just to avoid creating hard feelings, but that doesn't feel right. Someone who lives on $10/day can only be around someone who lives on $500 per day so long before questions get asked.
An example to highlight this is my last visit to my parents. We mentioned we were casually house hunting, but nothing serious yet. Being parents, they want to point out suggestions and make their own little recommendations. The problem with that is our budget is in the 7 figures and they're pointing out houses in the low 300s they see as excessively fancy and how nice it must be nice to be so profanely wealthy to buy such a place, but that one cute little mobile home for $85k would be ok. We were able to quickly change the subject, but this is only going to work for so long.
Yeah, you're right. We can't dodge the questions forever. I just try to change the subject. I'm just not comfortable talking about it with the family.
I work for the government, everyone's pay is regulated and public information, so everyone know's what everyone makes. So naturally people talk about money more openly, and it just so happens that I am frequently finding people talking about their lack of money as well as their spending habits, I don't go out of my way seeking out everyone's financially lifestyle it's just common for people to be more than open about it. so for example I went on a vacation recently and people ask about it and then it leads to "oh must be nice to afford to go on vacation", that's generally how finances come up. Or if people see me in my 2 year old truck it's always, oh MUST be nice... or HOW do you possibly afford that... I don't go around bragging by any means.
@iced wrote:Once you're engaged or married, you'll have DINK thrown your way as an obvious reason why you can do something they can't, too.
I get DINK'ed all the time, as my wife and I dont have kids by choice. But yet the "other side" is always complaining and want me to join them.
