They set me at 1400 dollars a month for one child when I was bringing in 28-30k a year as a truck driver. It has never been at an acceptable rate. Everyone thinks that its so easy to get it fixed, but that all depends on which state is dealing with what. The enforcment state is fine and willing to work with me, but its were she is that actually makes the choices. She has moved and started cases in 6 states now and each time it restarts the case. I came close twice now. Once I had a judgment to get it lowered and all we had to do was wait 30 days for her to dispute it in some way with a reason and instead she moved across the river from Columbus GA to Phinix City, AL and voiding the case. I have ALWAYS had a case open for 13 years to get it adjusted, but until she moves into a state that is fair to the father, its just not going to happen. Because of the rate, I am in perpetiaul arrears. So I have half my pay garnished each payday. So that is 50%. Then don't forget taxes at 20-30%, or healthcare on a family plan of course per the decree.... It does not take a math major to see how unfair the system is. I work 12 hour days... I am not taking a second job, or could I because I have so many meetings and have to come in at all hours. I am in upper middle managment of a major trucking firm. Even if I did, I would again only come out of it with 10-15% of what I made just to work myself into a grave. I understand everyone thinks its some easy fix and I know the calculators, but the courts don't give a flying crap about calculators, or the fathers wellness. It has nothing to do with the child. It's all about power and money.
Don't get me wrong. I have a great relationship with my child. If I could have it my way she would be still with me. I actually faught tooth and nail for her. Her mother abandoned us both for over a year and I was forced to leave the Navy because of it after 10 years in. She only returned to fight for custody when it was drilled into her how much money was at stake. As soon as she showed up the courts demanded I give custody to her during the custody dispute knowing that whoever has custody during the procedings is almost always who ends up getting custody. Then they set me at 1400 a month when I was half way through a year that I would bring in 28.5k. So that is 16k+ for that same year. Not only that, they STARTED me in the arrears by 5000 dollars to back pay her private school that her mother put her in without any consent from me. Don't get me wrong, it was a great school, but still... Today I am sitting around 80k in the arrears. I have tried to do the math and figure in intrest. By the state law of the orginial divorce decree and judgment, I have to pay her mother (even if she is living with me going to a nearby University) until she is 21 if she is enrolled as a student. If that is so it appears I will owe her Mother still a quarter million 250,000 when it STOPS counting up. Of course I may not ever even keep up with the intrest, so I am pretty sure I will never pay it off and will owe her until I am buried. I will never get a tax refund again. I will never be able to help save for her collage (because she sure isnt going to). I will never be able to save anything substancial. I will never be able to travel outside the U.S. ever again. So ya, its not about feelings. I KNOW its unfair and unrealistic. I know society and the system is misandrist and sexist towards fathers.
But anyways. That has been my life for 12 or so years now. I don't let it define me. I don't let it stop my drive for sucess. When every dime counts, you crave every promotion you can get, and I have had enough to keep me fed and sheltered. I will never be great, but hopefully if I fix this FICO I can at least enjoy a bit more flexibility if nothing else. Right now I just can't seem to get anything done lately.
Do you have any way to get a 2nd job? I had no days off but it felt good not to stress at night over how to pay this bill or pay that bill.