cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Critique my GW letter, please?

Highlighted
Senior Contributor

Critique my GW letter, please?

About a month ago, I came to a "verbal agreement" with a local CA and she agreed to delete the TLs for us. Well, as per her instructions, I disputed and it came back verified!! ARRGGHH!!!

So, I decided to fax her a letter asking, really, that she please delete the TLs, however, I don't want to come off as "You said you would, did you lie?!" since obviously, you catch more flies with honey than sour grapes.

Soooo, would you all mind reading it and letting me know if I'm being too nice or too snotty? TIA!!

Here she is:

CA name
CA address

ATTN: CAgent I spoke to on phone

Good afternoon, CAgent:

We spoke Thursday, May 29th, 2008, during which conversation I paid in full two medical collections accounts (accounts for Blah-blah, account # XXXXXXX, in the amount of $265.37; and Blah-blah, account # XXXXXXX, in the amount of $45.14).

I am humbly asking that these two accounts be deleted from our credit reports (that of Mr. Wonderin, my husband; and from mine, Missus Wonderin). I realize that the fault lies with us and that you are not obligated to delete these tradelines, but we are working diligently to repair our credit and would very much appreciate any goodwill you could possibly bestow upon us!

I very much enjoyed talking with you that day and do hope you remember our conversation and that the possibility of deleting these accounts was discussed. Perhaps to jog your memory, I might remind you that a particular point of the discussion involved incorrect insurance information being used in the processing of our insurance claim (which is still being investigated by our carrier, Blue Cross & Blue Shield).

Again, we humbly appreciate your consideration and again understand that you are under no obligation to delete these accounts!

With the best of regards!
Missus Wonderin
Mr. Wonderin
Phone number
e-mail addy
Fax number

What dya'll think??? Do I need to sugar it up some?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hubby's FICOs when we started: high 400s (June 2008)
Hubby's FICO NOW (04/06/09): TU: 679 EQ: 608 EX: ???
My FICOs: TU: 643, EQ: 606
Closed on new home: 1/20/2009 -- If we can do it, YOU can do it!!

Message 1 of 12
11 REPLIES 11
Highlighted
Established Contributor

Re: Critique my GW letter, please?

I think it sounds great.   Just the right amount of sugar Smiley Wink
Good luck!
Message 2 of 12
Highlighted
Senior Contributor

Re: Critique my GW letter, please?



@love2golf wrote:
I think it sounds great.   Just the right amount of sugar Smiley Wink
Good luck!





Thank you!!

And I was just about to post to your other thread: Congrats on the HUGE boost!!! Smiley Happy

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hubby's FICOs when we started: high 400s (June 2008)
Hubby's FICO NOW (04/06/09): TU: 679 EQ: 608 EX: ???
My FICOs: TU: 643, EQ: 606
Closed on new home: 1/20/2009 -- If we can do it, YOU can do it!!

Message 3 of 12
Highlighted
New Contributor

Re: Critique my GW letter, please?

You not even asking me and I would good will and delete it for you! Goodluck!

I'm better than blessed!
Message 4 of 12
Highlighted
Senior Contributor

Re: Critique my GW letter, please?

*blush*

Thank you!! Smiley Happy All I can say is some days, I think my mama did a decent job teaching me to be Southern! You ought to hear her talk -- she could tell you that you were an awful person (though she'd never -- that would be RUDE) and say in such a way that you felt like the most wonderful person on earth!

*goofy giggle*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hubby's FICOs when we started: high 400s (June 2008)
Hubby's FICO NOW (04/06/09): TU: 679 EQ: 608 EX: ???
My FICOs: TU: 643, EQ: 606
Closed on new home: 1/20/2009 -- If we can do it, YOU can do it!!

Message 5 of 12
Highlighted
Senior Contributor

Re: Critique my GW letter, please?

Since I'm getting such encouraging feedback from ya'll on the one, can I ask for a critique on this one as well? This one is from oodles of years ago ('bout 05, I believe) and they DID promise to delete, but that was far before I knew about ya'll and your wonderful advice, so I didn't get doodly-squat in writing! Smiley Sad

Here goes (and as always, thank you so much in advance!!):

WAM
CA Addy

Account # XXXX5555 (all I have on this account is the munged one I get off our reports! Grrr!!)

Dear Sir or Madam:

In approximately January of 2005, I was contacted by your company regarding an overdue medical bill (client: Local Hospital), in the amount of $196. The Customer Service Representative, a very nice woman, allowed us to pay this bill in full in three payments. She treated my wife (whom she also spoke to by phone) and I with the utmost compassion, dignity and consideration.

I am humbly asking that this account be deleted from my credit report. I realize that the fault lies with me and that you are not obligated to delete this tradeline, but I am working diligently to repair my credit and would very much appreciate any goodwill you could possibly bestow upon me!

Again, I humbly appreciate your consideration and again understand that you are under no obligation to delete this account!

With the best of regards!
Mr. Wonderin
Phone number
E-mail addy
Fax number

Too much sugar? Especially as one that's supposed to be coming from a man (as opposed to us sweet natured women-folk? *Giggle*)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hubby's FICOs when we started: high 400s (June 2008)
Hubby's FICO NOW (04/06/09): TU: 679 EQ: 608 EX: ???
My FICOs: TU: 643, EQ: 606
Closed on new home: 1/20/2009 -- If we can do it, YOU can do it!!

Message 6 of 12
Highlighted
Valued Contributor

Re: Critique my GW letter, please?

Wonderin,
 
Too much sugar in the second one. You also don't want them to take you for a fool. Be sweet, but always let them know that you're on top of your game.
 
I would word it like this:
 
"I am humbly asking that this account be deleted from my credit report. I realize that the fault lies with me and that you are not obligated to delete this tradeline, but I am always watchful that my medical information be protected, and now that this account has been paid in full, as I understand, there is no longer reason to continue reporting it. I work diligently to maintain my credit and would very much appreciate any goodwill you could possibly bestow upon me!"
Message 7 of 12
Highlighted
Senior Contributor

Re: Critique my GW letter, please?



@ivyalmighty wrote:
Wonderin,
 
Too much sugar in the second one. You also don't want them to take you for a fool. Be sweet, but always let them know that you're on top of your game.
 
I would word it like this:
 
"I am humbly asking that this account be deleted from my credit report. I realize that the fault lies with me and that you are not obligated to delete this tradeline, but I am always watchful that my medical information be protected, and now that this account has been paid in full, as I understand, there is no longer reason to continue reporting it. I work diligently to maintain my credit and would very much appreciate any goodwill you could possibly bestow upon me!"



Oooh, okay, Ivy!! Thanks!!

But can I ask: would the CA care about medical privacy? I've seen a few reports on them at ripoffreports that states that they don't care (of course, to be honest, that's not even the WORST that I've heard about them!!).

I'll change the wording and get them sent off ASAP!! Thank you!! Smiley Happy

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hubby's FICOs when we started: high 400s (June 2008)
Hubby's FICO NOW (04/06/09): TU: 679 EQ: 608 EX: ???
My FICOs: TU: 643, EQ: 606
Closed on new home: 1/20/2009 -- If we can do it, YOU can do it!!

Message 8 of 12
Highlighted
Member

Re: Critique my GW letter, please?

"and would very much appreciate any goodwill you could possibly bestow upon me!"
 
I don't know why but that line made me LOL. I really like what Ivyalmighty wrote. Go with that for sure.
Message 9 of 12
Highlighted
Valued Contributor

Re: Critique my GW letter, please?

Well Wonderin, I have had QUITE a bit of success with med deletions (if I do say so myself).. and I always had success when I wrote both the OC AND the CA. In fact, I never had success from contacting only the CA. I just assumed you'd be sending the letter to both.
Message 10 of 12
Advertiser Disclosure: The offers that appear on this site are from third party advertisers from whom FICO receives compensation.