Desperate & need help FAST/ what should I do?

[7774x]

---

@RopeIsGettingShorter wrote:

I've been trying to get a handle on all the terminology and possible options for each one. It's so much and confusing! Lol. I just came across what EE meant like an hour before I wrote my original post. So I'll have to try and figure those dates out tomorrow when I have a clearer head. I appreciate your response, Dayvan. And thanks for rooting for me. Glad someone's in my corner

---

Other people here  were in similar situations   ...and recovered..5 years ago  I had a 489 Fico score .I Paid, / Settled accounts  ..Aged  accounts past 7 years fell off credit report .. score now 771... COs will sit  on credit reports until they aged off..or get EEs  or are deleted from CAs For a Paid for delete ....COs are like cement filled tires around your neck , you will get credit denials .. citing COs  right up to when they fall off the CR..they will be on CRs until 7 yrs ..less with EEs..Other  people may be give up on you ,, Don't give up on yourself

[donkort]

What's keeping you from getting a driver's license?

I didn't get mine until I was 37.  It took a long time.  But it can be done.

Not meant as a criticism at all.  But it would definitely increase your job prospects.  Even if you don't get a car and pay insurance, you could conceivably be part of a carpool.

At least the stuff from 2017 will fall off next year; stuff from 2018 in 2025, etc. You can start applying for Early Exclusions soon.  Pile on the Good Will Letters and Pay for Deletes.

All the other advice is great.  

[Lurker22]

---

@Epiki71 wrote:

---

---

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like you're going through a tough time. 

1. Take care of your basic needs: Make sure you're eating and sleeping regularly. Consider talking to a therapist or counselor about your feelings of stress and anxiety.

2. Get a copy of your credit report and review it carefully ( I am sure you have this ). Contact any creditors with whom you have outstanding debt and try to work out a payment plan or settlement. Make sure you pay all bills on time going forward.

3. Create a budget: Figure out how much money you have coming in and going out each month. Identify areas where you can cut back on expenses.

4. Look for a job: Consider getting a driver's license, if possible, to increase your job prospects. Look for work in your area or consider moving to a location where there are more job opportunities.

5. Communicate with your partner: Try to talk to your partner about your feelings and goals. Show her that you're serious about making changes and improving your financial situation.

6. Consider seeking professional help: If you're feeling overwhelmed, consider reaching out to a financial planner or credit counselor for help. As you know this forum will help you, but in need seek professional help.

Remember, it's never too late to start making positive changes in your life. With hard work and dedication, you can turn your situation around.

---

Completely agree with all of the above, couldn't say it better but I will stress - #1 is the most important right now, you won't be able to tackle anything else unless you take care of #1 first!

One thing to remember.... you WILL get through this!  You need to keep telling yourself that and stay as positive as you can - not easy but your personal wellbeing is what's most important right now!

I'll just add, society's stigma about seeking help from a counselor/therapist is a bunch of crap - there's nothing wrong seeking help, it's just like going to the dr (yes I saw one when I went through divorce #2 (don't ask) during my chapter 13...helped keep me grounded and properly focused  - put things into perspective for me)

[RopeIsGettingShorter]

Epiki, I think it might be too late for couples counseling. The whole ordeal is frustrating. Finances really can and do destroy relationships. I've tried to find out every little thing it would take to fix things but mostly get the cold shoulder. So, the things I'm fully aware of I am working on currently. Cleaning up my credit is the biggest hurdle right now so I'm seeking every options and avenue. 

[RopeIsGettingShorter]

7774x, thank you for your reply. Yea, I'm trying to figure out and understand when certain accounts would drop off and when I could try my hand at EEs. Just learning about all these possible options now so have to map out a timeline of when some fixes may be possible. 

[RopeIsGettingShorter]

Donkort, I appreciate you taking the time to reply. The state I'm originally from has a block on me being able to get a license and that's part of the National Driver Database. I'm 37 right now and this has been an on going thing for a while. I messed up back in 2011. And 2007. And 2005. Think you can guess how. Resulted in an 8 year revocation. But I've done everything I was told to clean myself up. But that wasn't enough as they added more to the list that I'm taking care of. So, hopefully not too much longer until thats all sorted out. Where I live now, there is no public transportation. Barely any taxis and they basically only do trips to and from the airports. Public bus only runs twice a day. No trains. And uber/ lyft people seem to be quite unreliable here and don't show up a lot of the time lol. And unfortunately walking down the street to a store is not a reality. But like I said, hopefully it'll all be resolved very soon finally. Just frustrating how the timing of everything works. I've started with some GW letters but need to ramp them up. Still don't know much about the pay for delete yet. 

[RopeIsGettingShorter]

Lurker, thank you for your reply and kind words. I've reached out to some folks already for help but have kind of been left hanging but still hoping to hear back. With the overall circumstances, I unfortunately won't be able to go the high priced professional route at this time. But I'm still searching. It's just overwhelming and exhausting when things happen all at once. When it rains it pours...

[donkort]

"Pay for delete" is sort of a bargaining sort of thing.

It consists, basically, of "I'll pay off my debt to you if you delete the debt from all three credit bureaus."  This could be especially good if the collection agency is offering less than the actual debt.

Afterwards, ask nicely for written/tangible documentation that the deletion will happen.

Stuff happens in life.  And that goes for most people.

In the state of mind I was in when I was in my 20s, I could have screwed up royally.  Luckily, all that happened was that I had a few defaulted loans, garnishing situations, and a state tax lien.  In my impulsivity, I could have done much worse. 

[Creditwiser]

I've had pretty good success with pay-for-delete.  Most lenders & CA's just want their money. Many will tell you that they simply won't do it but with persistance and negotiation, they typically will.  What you want to try first ( very important ) is to pay the original creditor if possible. Some will tell you that since they've hired a CA to go after their money, that you must call and deal with the CA.  Others don't care and will gladly accept your payment. When I paid the original creditor, I would then dispute and say the account was paid to original creditor and typically the CA negative reporting was deleted. Always attempt to pay the original creditor first. If that fails, call the CA and negotiate PFD.

[tnhomestead]

Just a few points, hope they may help. Don't get overwhelmed, took years to mess up and takes a while to get corrected.

1 Get a support network. Pastor, buddy, dog whatever it takes. My dog was a great listener!

2 Don't worry about neighborhoods fha etc. Find a decent realtor, that's their job. They know the area best. Also local banks many times have foreclosures they sell to customers, worth a few phone calls and visits to see.

3. Bikes are cheap n easy, I hitched rides while living in a tent to work so it can be done. Also see point 1.

Work on the license, lots of hoops but worth it.

Okay, then take a deep breath and chill. Now any unpaid charge offs, call and try to pfd. If not pay them. It stops the bleeding and starts the healing.

Get cap1 paid off, no more cc debt if possible! Work on 500 bucks emergency fund, it's amazing how that little can really help. Now all you need is some positive history to start helping. Try for a secure card or 2, spend 50 a month and pay it off every month. Build some positive history so you get hope.

Try and get some counseling. Let her know your doing that, see if she will come. If not, do it on your own. Looks like a lot of bad choices were made, time for good ones. 

Not beating up on you, was broke and homeless myself, still broke but have a paid for house now. Not much of one, but it's mine. Started my house with some land and a horrible cabin with a credit score lower than yours!

Good 🤞