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Did I hurt myself due to my "morals"?

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pghfangirl04
Valued Member

Re: Did I hurt myself due to my "morals"?

Ugh, I feel the same way at lease your scores are better than mine.  I almost feel defeated when I read posts about people who are only a couple of months out of BK and have credit cards with limits over $1K, get new car loans and the like.  I have been working really hard on my credit and the credit of my DH and I feel like we are almost getting nowhere. I take 2 steps forward and 1 1/2 steps back.


Starting Score: 6/27/2012: TU-543 EQ-501 EX-535(Quizzle)
Current Score: 12/18/12: TU-571 EQ-547 EX-555(PSECU)
Goal Score: 630 by March


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Message 11 of 26
Trons
New Contributor

Re: Did I hurt myself due to my "morals"?

Well, I, and the wife, BK7'd a lot of medical bills.  I kind of felt bad, however, the insurance company refused to pay them because they were a "pre-existing condition" on my wife, even though she had never been diagnosed with a problem, nor had any symptoms until shortly before going to the doctor.   When I asked the insurance company why they thought it was pre-existing, they said it was my job to prove it wasn't.  When I asked how to prove it wasn't, they couldn't answer me.

 

Having said that, we didn't go out and buy a car or get CC's after the BK7.  We stayed debt free for 2 years and only last year started to test the waters with some small, unsecured, credit cards.   I'm just now getting serious about credit scores.  In the past I was pretty uncaring about them.  Pay the bills, score goes up.  Don't, score goes down...how hard can it be?  I will say that when money got tight, our scores were the first to take the hit (feeding family comes first, ya know).  This is the 3 time since my wife and I have been together, that we are rebuilding our credit, but the only (and hopefully never again) BK.  I'm a little more knowledgeable this time and hopefully it will go smoother.

Starting: EQ 590 (LP 8/12) TU 589 (LP 8/12) EX 612 (LP 8/12)
Current: EQ 650(LP 9/12/12) TU 667 (LP 9/12/12) EX 676 (LP 9/12/12)
Goal: 620 (for VA Mortgage)
Goal Reached. Pre-qualified for VA loan, 9/12/12

My Jeep is like my wife. Cleans up nice, but a lot more fun when she's dirty.
Message 12 of 26
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Did I hurt myself due to my "morals"?

I understand where you and the rest who have chosen to avoid BK for moral reasons are coming from.

 

But you all have to understand that you can't look at/hear stories from others who have abused the system by taking adavantage of BK to avoid debt and feel animosity because they are better off and feel that you COULD'VE been. Don't get me wrong I APPLUAD and COMMEND you all for being upright citizens with morals and standards, while those who abuse the system are in FACT doing wrong.

 

The fact of it all is that systems are in place for those who are really in need of support (ex. welfare, unemployment, social security,...etc)but they are abused because of weak restrictions. I would not have judged you to be irresponsible with your finances if you filed for BK when knowing your story , but on the contrary others may look at you with disdain. You had all the right to file for BK since the circumstances were unforseen. I believe you should be at or above the level of those who abused the BK system.

 

With the current health care system in place it is becoming harder for those who need it because it is so expensive. Coverage is incomprehensive because of the many loopholes that exist for providers to get out of paying the bill. I remeber in grade school at lunch kids would get free/discounted lunches but still wear the expensive brand name clothing. While the mother who makes her son's lunch only has the bare essentials in a brown paper bag. A countless number of people exploit the system and that happens on both sides.

 

I'm only 22 and I have had my fair share of debt and life unexpectancies, nothing serious enough to file for BK, but I come away from it all taking what happened as a learninq experience. The people who sincerely come to this site are concerned about their credit whether it means rebuilding, monitoring, or learning from reading and discussion. Coming here means you have and are taking on responsibilty of managing your credit.

 

In summary, take advantage of the systems in place that protect you because in the end these corporations that you are paying back in full are connected to the same corportations that turn their back on you when you are in need.

Message 13 of 26
j_casteel
Valued Contributor

Re: Did I hurt myself due to my "morals"?

I'm not being negative towards anyone who has legitimately needed to file a BK. Obviously, there's a reason they exist, but still I can't help to find myself reading some posts on here that they have been discharged a month out of a BK and already getting all these cards, loans, etc and getting a bit frustrated. The question was more so a rhetorical one. I know I didn't hurt myself from going this route, but it just seems that way due to the overwhelming amount of these "amazing" BK's that just wipe the slate clean. Then they are better than they were before the BK.

 

Either way, we chose the path we did and so far it seems to be paying off (just slower). Our scores are coming up above 600, we can finally get mediocre cards, and have learned from our mistake. To me (this is just personal) I feel we learned from this even more so than from by filing a BK. Since we took responsibility for it and had to settle and pay back and deal with CO's, etc on our CR's and not get it all "cleaned" to just start over we find ourselves avoiding that at all costs. We maintain a budget very well. Bills are paid when they come in so they are remembered to be paid on time. We don't use are debit cards so we can just use our credit cards in place and PIF each month. We've came a long way from where we started and still have a long road ahead of us, but like mentioned we are young(er) than some and blessed to have good stable jobs so hopefully before we know it our credit files will be back on track. Fortunately, we don't need to get a mortgage, cars, etc anytime soon so right now we're just focusing on getting our files cleaned and our scores up. We really don't even need lines of credit to get by, but since everything in this world is based off our credit files/scores we have to get cards, loans, etc to get that back where it needs to be.

 

 

Learning from my past and rebuilding..

BK discharged 1/10/17
scores: EQ 659 | TU 630 | EX 659

QS 3.8K | WF 500 | Cabela's 3k | ACU 500 |

Message 14 of 26
j_casteel
Valued Contributor

Re: Did I hurt myself due to my "morals"?

We had a personal obligation to pay back the money that we owed to creditors. Whether we liked the corporation or not. They credited us funds that we used and obligated to pay back. Like i mentioned, there is reason for legitimate BK and for going that route, and I'm not coming down on anyone doing that.

 

A person cannot blame the "system" or anyone else for not being responsible with finances they have control over. Maybe our mindset is different than others and we felt that even though these companies have millions of customers and billions of dollars that we were still obligated to pay our money back; maybe not all of it, but after some time we worked with them and came up with some settlements that everyone agreed to.

 

I didn't know what it was when I was younger, but my parents filed BK when i was a little kid. We were down to 1 car, had to move out of our home, and get rid of anything that wasn't essential. I know they can be tough, and I'm not sure why my parents needed to file BK (i was only 5 or 6 at the time). My parents didn't teach me finance's, budgeting, etc while growing up so I just go off of what I feel is right and discuss everything with my wife.

 

Again, I'm not downing anyone for doing a BK simply stating that  I did it my way and people do it the BK way and it seems that they come out ahead where as I am stuck fighting in the trenches to catch up.

 

 

Learning from my past and rebuilding..

BK discharged 1/10/17
scores: EQ 659 | TU 630 | EX 659

QS 3.8K | WF 500 | Cabela's 3k | ACU 500 |

Message 15 of 26
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Did I hurt myself due to my "morals"?

Again completely understandable and in no way was I taking a shot you to be disrespectful.

 

I just feel a BK in your case would be justifiable. You have proof that your circumstances did not arise from irresponsibility. Again I'm glad that you are taking care of your responsibilites and the creditors are working with you.

 

Keep doing what your doing.

Message 16 of 26
apandabear
Regular Contributor

Re: Did I hurt myself due to my "morals"?

I hear you. I wonder often if I should have filed myself. I was very young, suffered a job loss during the recession, and I held on for as long as I could. I worked 2 jobs, and fell behind almost a year after my layoff. Everything was behind. I lost my car, I lost my 3 credit cards, my student loans defaulted. I was a renter at the time, and that was the only thing I managed to stay current on. The month my car was taken, I had to make the decision... Car or house? 

 

Now I look back at the last 3 and a half years and wonder if it was all worth it. If a BK would have made it easier. How much higher my scores would be if I went that route. 

 

But it's all water under the bridge at this point. My file going to be severely tarnished for the next 4 years, and there isn't much I can do about it. GWs worked on small paid collections, but I'm having no luck with COs and my repo. All I can do now is start a new chapter and build with what I have. I seriously contemplate every financial step I take, and rethink everything. It's tedious, and I don't get everything I want, despite a now sizeable income. 

 

Wishing you the best... It's a rough road. It might seem like you screwed yourself over, but in the long run, no one but you has to live with your choices. And just think, 7 years is so much less than 10. It'll work out.

2009-10 - C/Os
2011 - Debts paid, no open credit
2012 - Rebuilding started, secured cards opened, SL rehabbed - EQ myFICO 636
2014 - 10k Discover, 3.5k Freedom, AmEx Green, SL, Auto Loan - EQ myFICO 695
Message 17 of 26
Shogun
Moderator Emeritus

Re: Did I hurt myself due to my "morals"?

I am impressed.  Comprehensive formal conversations between intelligent people.   Way different than facebook!

Starting Score: 504
July 2013 score:
EQ FICO 819, TU08 778, EX "806 lender pull 07/26/2013
Goal Score: All Scores 760+, Newest goal 800+
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Current scores after adding $81K in CLs and 2 new cars since July 2013
EQ:809 TU 777 EX 790 Now it's just garden time!

June 2017 update: All scores over 820, just pure gardening now.
Message 18 of 26
j_casteel
Valued Contributor

Re: Did I hurt myself due to my "morals"?


@Shogun wrote:

I am impressed.  Comprehensive formal conversations between intelligent people.   Way different than facebook!


hahaha....i also discussed more personal matters with complete strangers on here than i do with close friends on facebook.

Learning from my past and rebuilding..

BK discharged 1/10/17
scores: EQ 659 | TU 630 | EX 659

QS 3.8K | WF 500 | Cabela's 3k | ACU 500 |

Message 19 of 26
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Did I hurt myself due to my "morals"?


@j_casteel wrote:

@Shogun wrote:

I am impressed.  Comprehensive formal conversations between intelligent people.   Way different than facebook!


hahaha....i also discussed more personal matters with complete strangers on here than i do with close friends on facebook.


Me too.

But if we want it to be more FB-like, I could totally post a LOLcats photo or something. Just let me know Smiley Happy

Message 20 of 26
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